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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This is a kind of complicated problem, but please try to understand it. Ok, so my problem is with a lad who Im good friends with. Im 15 and he's 17. We've always been good friends, but recently Ive developed much, much stronger feelings for him (not just a stupid teenage crush - I actually think Im falling for him). We text a lot, talk face-to-face, we flirt with each other, we have a real laugh with each other and he says he's developed feelings for me too. He says its my smile, laugh and personality that he finds really great about me. He swears his "feelings" are true and he is pretending, but theres something in me that just can't believe him. Nothing he's says makes it easier, Im desparate to believe him but I can't. Ive seen him flirt with other girls a few times (which is fine because we're not going out and he is still free and single...)I know of other girls who he likes, yet he denies he likes them but I can see by the way he looks at them. I compare myself to these girls and Im just no match. They're so much prettier than me, thin, popular....yet he still expects me to believe he has feelings for me. My friends tell me he's just no good and that I shouldn't bother with him but I cant just ignore him. Im so confused. I guess my question in all this is: why can't I believe him when he says he has feelings for me??? Please help!!![x.B.x]
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your answers!!
I think rubespice27 is right - if he actually has feelings for me then he would've acted on them already and asked me out. Maybe I am wasting my time on him. I should find someone who has eyes for me only and won't string me along.
Thanks again!!
[x.B.x]
A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (25 July 2008):
 It can be two things: your own gut instincts tell you that this guy is no good OR that you find yourself so "underneath" him that you don't want to get your own hopes up with him. It can be either one of them, but you should try to see what it is. Have a deep talk with yourself (sounds kinda silly but helps). Try to see what makes you think why this guy is not truthful to you: Because there's something in YOU that tells you or because you feel no good for him?
Now, in my opinion, it could be the latter. You said that you're not as pretty, popular, and thin than the other girls he flirts. Well, you're just being silly. A guy will like you NO MATTER WHAT. At least a mature guy that truely cares for you. Don't worry for feeling this way. EVERY woman feels innadequate when compared to other women (and most of the time they're wrong... some women are just too bitchy to be likeble).
What do those girls that you don't have? You may think "good looks", well, those fade away. You may say "popularity", well, that only lasts in high school. What really matters is YOUR personality. A guy would go to an average looking girl and flirt with her if she has a great personality, but would avoid an incredibly "gorgeous" woman if her attitude is nasty (unless he only wants sex, then why would you want this guy?). He may like you because of your personality and probably you're just another beauty! you just don't realize it.
Now just try to evaluate yourself. If the reason for you to distrust him is because of your gut instincts, then listen to them and don't start anything with him. If the reason is because of your self-image, then try and go persue him. He has seen that you're a beautiful person when you never did.
Good luck and I hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, rubespice27 +, writes (25 July 2008):
 dont ever compare your self to anybody for a boy a boy who nobody thinks is good if what he said was true he would only have eyes for you im 17 i know what guys are looking for right now at this age dont fall for him he could be running game on u and if what he was saying was true he would have asked you out already
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A
female
reader, mamasaidknockyouout +, writes (25 July 2008):
yet again another situation similar to mine. I've known a guy for 14 years and it wasn't until this year that we started flirting and stuff. we told each other we liked each other but I definitely feel like I like him way more and way more serious than he does me. he also talks to like three other girls and texts and flirts with them a lot. hell ones stored at "sami sexy" and I'm only stored as kate. and I was also confused because he claimed to like me but these girls were skinny and pretty. like the opposite of me.it turns out he just wanted to do sexual stuff with me and just likes attention from girls and likes the feeling of numerous girls chasing after him. he was full of shit and an ass. a complete ass. I'm not saying that's how your guy is because idk him but that's how mine turned out. I'm 15 and he's 16
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A
female
reader, rubespice27 +, writes (25 July 2008):
listen im 17 years old and i ve been threw the whole high school live phase....and hes not in a place to be serious with anybody or he would have asked you out already and your 15 and boys that are my age have one thing on my mind and he might be running a game on you i think you should listen to your friends cause i know a guy like him my ex dont even waste your time u need a guy whos eyes are only on you
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A
male
reader, clickyclick  +, writes (25 July 2008):
 [x.B.x] I think you my just be having cold feet from what you feel for this guy, perhaps you have had past relationships that haven't turned out quite the way you had hoped. What could do if your not sure his feelings for you are true is ask some of the girls he's been "flirting" with her and ask if he has ever said anything along the lines of what he has alreaddy said to you. this could gain you some back-ground information on him. It could be that he has numbered a few girls in his head and has chosen you but if something happens between you two he would be able to use one of the other girls as a fall back.But to be honest only you would really know what to do.The answer is somewhere deep inside of you and only you can find it, start looking set some time aside and think watch the stars one night, I often find that helps me with a lot of things and gives me a lot of courage to do the things I need to do. Maybe if you're desire is great enough they'll give you an insight.Think of the problem not the solution.All the best.ClickyX
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