A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:While making love, my vagina was a bit dry so my partner spat into my vagina to lubricate it. i feel so degraded by this i cannot bear him to touch me since. Am i over reacting?
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female
reader, Sneed2496  +, writes (20 November 2015):
To bre completely honest, I don't know how old this post is, or if you've resolved your issue. I actually strolled across it searching for an answer to the same question. My guy did this. We were totally trying new things. I felt COMFORTABLE trying new things with him. I didn't have to think twice before doing them, and even after, I still don't think twice about having done new things with him. I'm guessing that the answer to your question is YES... You were over reacting. It's almost second nature for girls to overreact. Especially with the world wide Internet.
After sifting through all of the answers I found, I decided that that had happened months ago. If I were descusted by it... Especially during my most vulnerable moment, then maybe I just wasn't as into him as I thought I was. You can't decide automatically that all of the feelings that you've had for someone have escaped y
A
female
reader, Beccccccy  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 In a word " Yes " ... Just a natural lubricant ..just relax enjoy , and get back to having some great Sex .
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A
male
reader, davesmithesq +, writes (12 March 2011):
if you feel degraded it's because you slept with someone who you hardly know, which is why it bothered you that he 'spat' on your dry vagina.
i can see why it would bother you if you weren't a couple and weren't both tested for std's though. he could -maybe- transfer something he possibly has to you.
now you know next time you have sex with a guy you don't know well to tell him you don't allow spitting on the vajay jay. then you won't have to feel degraded.
or find a b/f and have him give you orgasm after orgasm which will require him to spit on your v, well you or him rubs your clit!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): Another guy thinking he's learned a trick or two from porn - WRONG!!! What an a-hole!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): How disgusting!!! I'm not sure if there is a cultural thing going on here but I was brought up in Britain, and sorry but spitting is just GROSS. Ever seen anyone choc a huey on the pavement??? Did it make you want to throw up??? It sure did me!!!! I am sorry but these people have the manners of the lowest form of life. The mouth is already full of saliva so the guy had NO NEED to spit on your vagina, he could have just used his tongue. Yes, it probably is a porn thing and to the men that say they would love it, I wouldn't go anywhere near you in a million years - I hope you are single and don't force your grim ideas onto any unsuspecting female. Stay single, spit on your own dick and bang away to your hearts content to porn!!!! If you've been with the guy for a long time, then second chance springs to mind. Let him know how you feel, then he needs to work on making up to you, so you do eventually want to make love to him again. If the relationship is in the early stages, fire him out like a bullet. He's a fuckwit!!!!
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (31 July 2010):
 Your idea of love isn't strong, it disappears as soon as a man does something wrong.... for many women, a man who spits for lubrication is sexy, we know he can't wait and isn't thinking straight, pure animalistic passion, which is beyond words and just works on drive and need...
But no problem, he offended you by being real.. dump him and find a man who is always polite and has manners even at the point of ejaculation...
No problem, you just need to find someone who control their passions and can treat you like an object..
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (30 July 2010):
 That wasn't the most considerate thing to do however,it kind of makes sense if more lubrication was required so as to be more pleasurable for you.
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A
male
reader, willierod +, writes (18 April 2010):
i am a man and honestly if a woman spat on my penis while doing oral, i will definitely go limp. That is very disrespectful to your lady and is gross. that's just me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): I actually am still shuddering ten miniutes after reading that ugh how utterly disgusting. If he had of licked his fingers and then used them on you that would have been different but to slag on you like your the sidewalk and he has something nasty in his mouth is utterly disgusting. What a horrible pig. You are right to be disgusted. I would have jumped into the shower straight away and washed that grot off. To anyone who doesn't think its gross try spitting....ACTUALLY SPITTING on your partners genitals tonight and ill bet you get a slap in the face!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to all for your answers and advice.
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A
male
reader, cunnivorous  +, writes (16 August 2009):
that's natural! if you don't like it let him know about it. it's a sign of a sexual incompatibility that of course shouldn't lead to a breakup. if i were your lover/bf i would concede not to spit on your vag again but i would beg you to spit on my shaft instead because that's a great turn on!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): Hey.. Mostly people use this tool if they find the vagina dry. They wouldn't have a gut feeling or idea before doing it, that your vagina would be dry. He would have just done it. But if you find it disrespectful, that are absolutely your feelings not his. So you are just over-reacting. Instead of asking questions to others, the best thing is to talk to your mate and discuss with him. Beacause when you are sharing love, the first thing is that you should be comfortable with eah other and this is only possible by discussing verbally. So I would advise you to go and talk to him and ask him to use a lubricant if you find it annoying. ALL THE BEST.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): Whether or not you liked it, you are still overreacting. It's likely he saw no big deal in it. You just needed extra lubrication. If you didn't like it, though, just communicate that to your partner and suggest something else to do when you get dry. If they do it again, it's your choice what to do then. However, it is not in any way degrading. It's a useful lubrication choice and it's quick and easy.
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A
male
reader, Mr. Adviser +, writes (16 August 2009):
 As a male, I would not feel degraded if spit was to be used in either oral or as use for a hand job. I am not a woman however. I would go as far to say yes, you personally may find that disgusting. You have to communicate that to them. I would not call it disrespectful though. In your partners mind they thought what they was doing was ok, so they did not do it with an intention of disrespect. Also, I recommend in investing in some water based lubricant. Now, I believe you are overreacting in the sense you have not allowed them to touch you. You have got to have some forgiveness if you are passionate about this person. People are not perfect. Even if you disagree with almost everything I've said I can only hope you can forgive your partner.
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A
female
reader, nIcE  +, writes (16 August 2009):
 people watch porn, and I've seen that more then once.
Maybe he seen it in a porno, though it was hot, thought you'd think it's hot and gave it a try
...don't get mad at him for watching porn...
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A
female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (16 August 2009):
 to Emilysanswers i think you need to calm down
if you had read my response i said all though it is common in porn it is not something i would be comfortable with. It is an over reaction because it is a small miss understanding if no one tells you that they don't like something how are they supposed to know. Personally YES i would find it disrespectful had i made it CLEAR to a partner and then they did it. But everyone gets a 2nd chance and i think maybe it was just a basic mistake.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): I think I'm missing something here, because aunts whose advice I almost always think is right-on are saying something different from what I'd say.
If you're having consensual sex, and the natural lubrication isn't happening sufficiently, then a loving application of saliva surely isn't disrespectful. Am I missing something here? Isn't cunnilingus, with its liberal attendant of saliva, an appropriate prelude to intercourse?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (16 August 2009):
NO WAY IN HELL ARE YOU OVER REACTING!
And you'll notice many people who said you are, is staying anonymous and being unhelpful.
I would find that INCREDIBLY disrespectful, and I don't give a crap if it's "common in porn" LOTs of things are common in porn and I don't want them to happen to me either.
Tell him you found it so disrespectful that you can't stand to be touched by him and if he EVER does it again then he is out the door.
Yes he'll probably say you are over reacting, but as long as he takes note and respects you, there is no problem.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (16 August 2009):
Its a pretty common thing to do and if your b/f is into porn he has probably seen 100's of people do this. I personally would find it a bit uncomfortable maybe but i would make that clear. But i think your over reacting, tell your partner you found it a complete turn off and ask him not to do it again.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (16 August 2009):
 I guess he didn't realize that this offended you. Its not unusual. Saliva is better than other fluids.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (16 August 2009):
 I think its gross but its really popular in porn you shouldnt be degraded by it im thinking saliva is one of the best lubricants there is for this pourpose im pretty sure your guy cares about you and wouldnt want to make you feel degraded. its pretty normal and you shouldnt worry but maybe he needs to step his forplay game up so you wont be dry
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A
female
reader, WDE123 +, writes (16 August 2009):
You are not over reacting because its something you didn't like. You should speak to him and tell him that that was not OK and to not do it again. If he does do it again THEN he is being disrespectful.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): I'd say it's not a big deal - there's not much difference between saliva and natural vaginal lubricant anyway.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): yes you are, very much.
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