A
female
age
41-50,
*lairyfairy
writes:Ive just found out that my boyfriend of 5 month has slept with 71 women!! I went out with him the other nite and i heard a conversation mentioned bout the number 71 i asked him and he said i was number 72! I feel sick cos i got the impression that b4 me hed had a relationship of 5yrs and he was single for 3yrs after that finished and he met me through the internet.i live in a different town so dont know anything bout him. Hes said he has slept with around 30 women in the last 3yrs. Now i dont trust him. He has lads nites out and would say bout the women. And i wasnt invited i never am to anything! Hes says im special and his life is very different to mine hes says he has one side for me and one for me i know him apparently like no other. Im totally besotted with him. And dont think i can handle it. Ive only been with 2 men i feel intimated .and jealous of his past. All can i see is him pulling women on nites out. Hes even told me what he says how women react. And how he could pull for fun. I feel betrayed we talked for ages before we met clicked its was amazing. He said hes never been so happy! Now i feel was it all a joke. As theres not any women left in his small town hes had them all! Girls text him all the time. I feel insecure like hes trying to hide me. He never tell his mates what were doing. I feel like he want me but want his past too! As he rubs it in bout the women he loves himself. But when hes nice hes lovely but is this just charm to get what he wants hes had plenty of practice hasnt he! Im hurt and it really bothers me! Or am i over reacting! Also he says hes such a plus 4 him that i havent been with many men like im pure which he like he would like it if i had a past like him! Oh also was revealed that on a very very rare nite out he went to the toilet and had a line of coke! What else is he doing behind my back. Im just a doormat arent i?
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female
reader, macin_bacon +, writes (27 July 2009):
 ha he is such a liar.. whatever has he had sex with 72 women.
firstly.. who really keeps count . especially if you've slept with so many ??
secondly..i cant imagine 72 women would want to sleep with someone who goes aroundd braggingg about how many people they've slept with
:D DUMP HIM. IN THE BIN. 4LYF.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): Guys are like this becaue it works. She can leave him now and she's still #72.
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A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (25 July 2009):
After that second post: Yeah, you should get rid of this guy.
He sounds horrible!
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A
female
reader, babymama99  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 You do have self worth, that's why you're out here talking to us. You know that this is not the life you want.
You can do bad all by yourself, you don't need this creep to help you along. Leave him please. tell him that #75 is signing off. he is not the only guy out there. the same way you got him you can get another.
We all want to be loved and cherished and cared for. don't settle for this.
You are better than this guy, You can do better than this guy, You are worth it to find some peace and happiness for yourself. This guy can't do that for you. You're going to have to do it for yourself.
The sleeping with the 71+ people is one thing, but the way he makes you feel and the horrible way he treats you is another.
Please Dump Him. You CAN do better!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): I once was with a guy who was 34 and slept with 400 women, i felt like i was just a number so he could brag about how many hes had when hes old or something so i got rid sharpish, do the same love, itll be worth it in the end x
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A
female
reader, blairyfairy +, writes (24 July 2009):
blairyfairy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou so much for your answers! The reason i feel he would cheat is cos of what he tells me. Like he was an angel he was a single guy had a girl thurs.fri. Sat nite. He keeps friend with all his exs. Goes out all the time without me. Gets drunks dont know how he got home! Hes told me that in his past he dont even remember having sex! Thing is also we spilt up for 6 wks and he slept with two girls and he didnt tell me to after when he now told me i was number 75!! That hurt. He dont have no respect for me he was on the phone one day and he said to his mate about when he did this girl up the arse! And laughed. I feel worthless. Hes always telling me all these women. Like he will say. God all those women last nite dancing and i just didnt dance with them.but they way he says like i should say thankyou! But then i find out some girl had his top on. And he hadnt got nothing on! Im so lonely. Unhappy. But seem to cling to him. Just cos sometimes hes nice and thats better than nothing. He dont invite me to weddings but then i hear other girls go. Its always have to ask. Cant we do this. Can we go there? And it always ok but have to c what im doing. We arrange something then he lets me down and goes out with his mates. God hes 30 for god sake. I can honestly say i just do everything and get nothing in return! Its like im saying walk over me do what u want cos i dont feel i deserve any better! Which i dont feel i do. Got no self worth. If i have a problem he says i dont do talking so u have to sort it out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): I am amazed a total of 71 women,this guy aint got no respect for himself and he will sleep with anything in a skirt,looks or personality mean nothing to him and catching whatever is out there,get yourself checked
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): Okay, he's a player and he's got a double standard. If you don't like it, then you don't have to tolerate it. If you don't wanna be #72, then you don't have to sleep with him or have anything to do with him. I see no reason that you owe it to him to be okay with his history. You don't need to make any excuses for why this bothers you. It SHOULD bother you if you even care about your health. Not all STDs show up on tests. And this isn't a sign of a guy with much long-term relationship intentions, is it? Nor is it a sign that he'll value sex with you much above a fun sport.
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A
female
reader, barbie0173 +, writes (24 July 2009):
your right to be annoyed, i would be if i was you!However, everyone has a past no matter how big or small and thats where it should remain in the past no point obcessing about it as ive done it myself and it gets you no where!!I also identify with the coke bit as my fella has done it in the past and i worry that he will do it now on lads nights out but the way i see it what the eye doesnt see the heart doesnt grieve about. He shouldnt still be getting texts off other women though unless they are friends and i dont see where the thinking hes going to cheat on you comes from??has he cheated in the past or is it just the shear number of women hes had thats worrying you?I wish you luck and personally think stop obcessing about the past as its unhealthy and if he is to stray he will no matter what you say/do, you carnt stop someone doing something they want to do.Try not to worry, look to the future and be happy!
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A
female
reader, alwaysreadyandwilling +, writes (24 July 2009):
 Well,i slept with 103 (different times of course). You need to tell him you are worth more than being another number on his score sheet then dump him. He`s a big baby and i bet he`s added a few on to make himself look good. Plentyoffish in the sea. Get out,have a smooch with a new person. Phone him back in 3 months and tell him its took you 73 attempts but you have met your perfectpartner,so he will grow up and learn his lesson.
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A
male
reader, Rogerramjet +, writes (24 July 2009):
Eh, i found out early on that the less that was spoken of about previous sex lives, the better. Especially as you approach your late 20's/early 30's, you just have to start assuming that people have sexual experience, and the odds are good that they have done something in there that will completely turn you off or upset you. So long as they are disease free, you really are better off not knowing previous sexual history, if you ask me. The past is the past. He's with you right now. The trust issue is something that...well, has he given you any other indicators that he's untrustworthy, other then this number of sexual conquests?
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A
female
reader, trshly +, writes (24 July 2009):
 Are you seeing the guy I was seeing last? Haha, it sounds like the same exact story!!Well, you gotta realize, he's not doing this "behind your back", this is his past. So, maybe he is a womanizer, and a bit of a WHORE, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be true to someone he is with. Has he cheated on the girls he dated over 3 years ago?For me, I ended up losing interest in the guy. A girl who is more concerned about school and family, rather than sleeping around, doesn't usually mesh with a guy who's more concerned about "how many notches can you get in a year" and partying.
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