A
female
age
30-35,
*SO326
writes:Okay, so im madly in love with my ex who has made it clear as day he doesnt want anything to do with me.we were together for three years and we both just let life get in the way of our relationship.he recently left to the marines. before he left he told me he loved me and would see me when he gets back. since then i have put men on hold, i want to save myself for him. hes the only one in this world i want. im hoping that bootcamp might make him relize what he had. im just afriad of him coming back and my efforts are worth less. .. idk what to do, should i wait on him?even though he told me repeatedly im not what he wants . . . i just dont want to miss any oppritunity.
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female
reader, Bella555 +, writes (23 November 2010):
We have different circumstances, but similar agonies. My ex bf told me not to wait for him either, saying he needed time to sort out his feelings after his divorce (finalized almost a year at our break up). Since then, he has disappeared on me, taunted and flirted with me, and has been pursuing others, all while I've waited for him. I feel like the biggest fool, since I still love him. I'm still scrambling for ways to fix my mess or for the slightest scrap of hope.Despite all this, I encourage you to move on, too, as others here have. Learn from my mistake, one with which I continue to struggle. You have been given the twisted blessing of knowing he doesn't want to be with you--I would have preferred a definite answer to the games I've allowed myself to get mired in. I do understand how hard it is to let go when you're in love. I'm walking proof of the pain, indecision, confusion, and doubt. All the best to you.
A
female
reader, MsVick +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Don't wait, keep going on with your life and when he comes back IF something happens, fine, but I wouldn't count on it.
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A
female
reader, MsVick +, writes (21 November 2010):
Don't wait, keep going on with your life and when he comes back IF something happens, fine, but I wouldn't count on it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): Do not wait for him. He's told you he doesn't want you and if that isn't a good enough reason i don't know what is. Don't waste anymore time on this fantasy you have of him falling in love with you because it's just not going to happen.
I know how hard it is to care about someone and wish they felt the same but it's time to wake up. Move on and start dating again. You've already turned down guys who could have been someone who could make you happy and give you what you want.
Don't hurt yourself even more by holding on to false hope because that's all it is. Remain friends with him if you wish but please, for your sake, move on.
Feel free to message me.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Quiet-echo put it perfectly- "Do not make someone a priority in you life when you are an option in theirs". Why hold out on everything for someone who has told you repeatedly he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you? This is the perfect opportunity to move on, he will be gone and out of your world for a really long time. Never wait for someone when it isn't for certain they will be waiting too. And he sure won't be waiting for you. Don't hold onto false hope for a year that he will change his mind. If it is meant to be then great, it will be. But please do not wait and miss out on something great with someone else. The first part of your question really answers it all though "He says I'm not what he wants". Move on.
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