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He said I'm loose but I've NEVER had sex with anyone else! How can this be?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2010) 15 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2010)
A female Canada age 30-35, *issSamanthamary writes:

okay so last night me and my boyfriend we just laying there cuddling and talking and he told me i was loose..... and he was serious... he said its the most noticeable when hes on top which is one of my favourite positions.... hes the only guy ive ever had sex with and im 16 and have never had a kid, i dont really understnd how he says im loose and if i am how the eff do i make it not cause im like super super embarrassed :'( i dont even want to have sex with him anymore cause its so embarrasing ,

(its not the first time we've had sex , and we have both only ever had sex with each other )

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (16 February 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntGlad you talked to him and settled that issue. It is just a slip of the tongue.Sometimes they just blurt out without thinking and they don't mean to insult or offend you.

All misunderstandings should be cleared as fast as possible so that they do not fester and become gangrene or cancerous.

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A female reader, missSamanthamary Canada +, writes (16 February 2010):

missSamanthamary is verified as being by the original poster of the question

k well thanks for the posts everyone , i talked to him yesterday and he said he didnt mean to offend me by it , at first he try'd to cover up and say he was kidding and i was like ur clearly not kidding... and yea so we talk about it a little bit and he didnt mean to offend me apparentyl , i donno its just kinda harsh , and i dont think the problem is that hes to small , i actaully tho he was pretty big , ive never been with anyone else so i couldnt say but ya , its never been a problem for me tho sex with him was always good i never thought it was loose at alll , i dont no if girls can tell when its loose like guys can but i donno im just kinda hurt that he would say that to me , i am sure we will work things out i was just looking for some other opinions , thanks for replying everyone all ur comments helped :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010):

He just always imagined it would feel tighter than it does. The first guy I was with told me he was disappointed because he thought it would feel warmer (like American Pie lol) and tighter and he made me feel bad about it because I didn't know any better. But thanks to all these comments, YOU can be well informed and have no need to feel there's anything wrong with you.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (15 February 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntDon't let some careless words cloud your views of him . Everyone make mistakes and most men don't think before they speak.

He is only 18 years old and he is bound to say the wrong things or make mistakes.Nobody is perfect .

Talk to him about how you feel so that he won't make that mistake again. Maybe , you can mirror back to him and he would realize the mistake.

If you love him a lot , you should be able to overcome this hurdle.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2010):

Honey I'm sure you are perfect. Tell mr. big mouth that if he doesn't like it with you he can go find happiness with a nice asian midget... and you will go find a man would know better than to say something so thoughtless.

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A female reader, brndout United States +, writes (15 February 2010):

My guess would be that he masturbates alot and is used to a tight grip. Tell him that he needs to back off on such a tight grip as women don't feel that way-which I guess he didn't know. You maybe could help him out by telling him that making comments like that about someone you love body is hurtful and will make you uncomfortable and less responsive to him sexually and any other way. If need be, you could use his dick size as a reference so he might get it, but in a nice way. "It really hurt me and made me feel self concious when you said I felt loose. That would be like me making a comment on how small your dick is,and I wouldn't do that." Then if he does it again re-evaluate why you love him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010):

-* he's probably tryinq to control you. Especially if he's older than you. you should talk to him and let him no you never been with anyone else. But my best bet is he's probably too small lol. Don't feel uncomfortable. Stop havinq sex with him then he will want to have sex so bad he will feel bad he said it .

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010):

that's not uncommon ; you shouldn't be embarresed. If you masturbate or had sex a couple times with him that could've cause it. Some people are just tiqhter than others. Not a biq deal love.

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A male reader, Faraday United Kingdom +, writes (14 February 2010):

Faraday agony auntSpot on, CG.

All I would add is that maybe you were super-wet during sex and this SMALL boy slipped in too easily?

When you are really old enogh for sex, go find a man with a decent-sized c**k and enjoy yourself!

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (14 February 2010):

mystiquek agony auntSweetie, your boyfriend is being cruel and disrespectful to you. He doesn't have a clue. Do not allow yourself to be treated in such a manner. Just because he has sex does not make him a man, or an expert on sex. Quite frankly, you would be much better off without him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010):

When I lost my virginty I had the same thing. He told me he was never with a girl as loose as me. The reason is that the vagina opens up like a balloon when you have sex. Usually fat or muscle keep it from opening.

Now, I am I have the tightest vagina in the world. The second man I have ever been with can't get over how tight my vagina is.

So, basically, how did I do it. I developed the muscles in that region. THis includes doing kegals but also developing the pelvic muscles. Belly dancing is good, ballet is good, stomach crunches are good.

Stick your fingers in your vagina and experiment with it. It will take a lot of tight muscle development in that region but you can do it.

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A female reader, ElectricSheep United States +, writes (14 February 2010):

ElectricSheep agony auntWhat an inconsiderate, foolish thing of him to say!

Maybe it's him that's too small?

He's talking like he has experience, which he clearly does not.

Don't feel embarrassed about your body one bit. You're normal, don't let what he said affect you at all.

If he's not going to respect you or your body, I say it's time for you to find someone who does.

This little boy on the other hand needs to grow up!

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A female reader, missSamanthamary Canada +, writes (14 February 2010):

missSamanthamary is verified as being by the original poster of the question

he"s 18 tho hes not 16 like me , we've been dating for like a year thats why i dont get why he just said that , i love him more then anything but it makes me like really self concious , we"ve never had any problems liek this beofre

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A female reader, jc82 United States +, writes (14 February 2010):

jc82 agony auntHe's trying to gain power by making you feel uncomfortable. Don't let him rattle you, it was a really mean thing to say, and I'm sure he knows that. Let him know he can't talk to you that way, and that he hurt you.

If you have a vindictive streak at all, you could let him know that you are sure the problem isn't that you are loose, its that he has a tiny dick. Which could actually be the problem. I'm sure he'll never mention your "looseness" again.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (14 February 2010):

He hasn't got the slightest clue what he's talking about. He's a little boy trying to be a man. He really doesn't understand women at all. There's nothing wrong with you at all. You're just dating a very immature, tactless disrespectful boy. And since he was a virgin when he met you, how does he know anyway? Answer, he doesn't. You can do better than a little boy who doesn't respect you.

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