A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was dating a guy for two months, until he began avoiding me. He would take longer and longer to respond to my texts, and then he just stopped responding period. He hardly ever called me either. After he hadn't contacted me in two days, it indicated to me that he no longer wants to associate with me. I haven't contacted him since he stopped contacting me. Yesterday, I traveled to his house and returned the few possessions in which he gave me to borrow. His mother answered the door instead, and the first thing she told me was that he wasn't home. I didn't care, handed his possessions to her, and then left. I just feel used and I also view him as a coward because he couldn't even be straightforward with me. He simply vanished and left me hanging without an explanation.How do I cope?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 May 2011):
 he is a coward and badly behaved and he let his mommy enable that
live well and get on with your life
A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (24 May 2011):
 You are not entitled to any explanation, nor are you entitled to any consideration or common courtesey. This is the hallmark of what I refer to as "Generation Now" - meaning a majority under the age of 30, who's only focus is their own convenience. It is difficult in your position because you do indeed feel slighted, disregarded, and marginalized being marooned in such a way without any reason or justification. It is disgusting but unfortunately it is a tenant of how people treat other people - especially now. hopefully the above gives you a greater understanding that even if you an he were to have a reckoning there is the possibility that no reason exists for his behavior. You just do not suit his immediate need - once again a hallmark of the mostly under 30 crowd.All that being said the question you need to ask yourself is if you should be investing your time and energy over this person. He has let you go, and you should do the same. One other piece of advice: I tell people frequently to work on themselves, before reaching out to others. Too many people out there place their hopes and dreams on a partner, investing so much into a relationship. Then when the thing goes sour they feel like they squandered half their life because they did little to invest in themselves. The more accomplished you are in your own skin, the less these things will affect you. It took me 10 years worth of failed relationships and broken heartedness to realize what I am telling you.
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A
female
reader, mylassie10 +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Im sorry to hear that this happened to you but Ive been in your shoes before. You think things are going ok and heading in the right direction and then boom..things change instantly. Sometimes we'll never know why they do this to us. When its happened to me, it hurt for a little while with no closure and not knowing why but you really can't waist your time on a guy who is showing he doesnt care. Hes definately not the one for you and youll see that in time. You just have to take it day by day, distract yourself by going out with friends and doing activities..and if he ever tries to contact u again, I suggest you dont bother with him anymore. You'll be fine!
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A
male
reader, Wheeler +, writes (24 May 2011):
 You cope by letting time pass. It will be a matter of weeks and then you will begin to see things more clearly. He was too immature to be upfront with you.brbrHe probably said some things that are still stuck in your mind, and you wonder how those feelings could have felt so strong and those words have been spoken and now there is nothing. But remember, you only know how you felt, and what you did or didn't mean. You have no way of knowing if he ever felt the same way. And so often only time reveals the true heart of another person.brbrTake some solace in knowing that some people are with another person for years when that happens. How much worse would that have been? Or perhaps he would have stayed with you longer and not been honest about his feelings and ultimately cheated on you because he didn't really care about you as much as you thought he did?brbrDo me a favor. Write down how you feel right now. Write down how important this relationship has felt to your life on a scale of one-to-ten. Write down how much it hurts, or how confused you feel. And maybe most importantly, write down how long you feel like this is going to take to get over.brbrTake that letter, lick the sleeve completely (so there is no peeking), and put it in the back of your drawer. Get it back out in exactly one month.brbrAnd one more thing, it probably is a good thing he still lives with his mom, he doesn't sound like he is ready to be a grown-ass man quuiitttee yet. :-)
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