A
female
age
30-35,
*arnes66
writes:I posted a thread about a guy who was giving the impression that he just wanted sex and subsequently disappeared when I made it clear that I'm looking for someone to date . Here is recap of this saga -I met a guy when I was out and he gave me his number to text him -I texted him the following day -He sounded happy to hear from me but didn't really ask me any personal questions about me other than my age -Then he immediately shifted the conversation into sex.He asked me about my sexual preferences -I overlooked and ignored this glaring red flag and stayed in contact with him(I know stupid of me) - We made plans to hangout ,when I asked him what we were doing,he just said'' we will figure It out" -He flaked out on our plans and apologized ... something had came up, according to him but didn't bother to make alternative plans -The next day,he wanted to come over to my apartment in the middle of the night instead but I declined -It then sank in that I had been ignoring the red flags waving in my face -I told him that I'm looking for someone to date and not just to hook up with.. Then proceeded to explain that I wanted to keep our interactions outside our homes as we get to know each other first.I asked him if he wants the same things as me or just a hook up?he just said "It is what I want"I asked him to confirm if he is referring to hooking up or taking it slow?He never responded back and disappeared -I subsequently learned that he lied about his age according to his Face book.He is younger than what I thought Now few months later,to my suprise he just texted me today and said"Hey it's me Trevor,I have been looking for your number for so long"Thats all he said.I don't think I'm going to respond.Any thoughts?What does he want
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female
reader, Barnes66 +, writes (16 March 2016):
Barnes66 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone for your answers
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 February 2016):
 Ignore the text. Block and delete his number.
He is STILL looking to hook up and he was hoping you had lowered your expectations in the few months of silence.
He isn't all of a sudden going to WANT a relationship with you.
Or he haven't been able to find another hook up buddy so he has gone over this "little black book" in hopes to convince one of the women to hook up.
Honey, you are WASTING your time on this one. And... you know it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2016): Where you say you met him while you were out does that mean out drinking? Were you out in a club? If you were then generally that kind of thing happens and people exchange numbers that may not even result in anythingIf you are looking for a relationship then maybe it would be better to meet somebody somewhere else rather than in a place where people are drinking.That's not to say that's where you definitely met as you haven't said, but if it was then all this could be a possibility.As for him saying he was looking for your number for months, it suggests that he didn't have it because he deleted it off his phone, but he couldn't have done that as he ended up contacting you again. I don't know how he could suddenly find your number again after a few months had passed so he must have had it all along.Maybe when you exchanged numbers he exchanged his number with more than just you that night and when you made it clear you weren't after the same things he started talking to somebody else who was fine with just having sex.I doubt very much after a few months he would have changed his mind about a relationship as he barely asked you anything about yourself and didn't get to know you. He sounds like a player so just forget about him. Unwelcome sexually explicit texts are something you have made clear you don't want to receive. So if he starts talking to you again like that then he is out of line. There's no need for it especially after you told him you didn't want to just have sex. So if he does start going back down that road ask him to stop or just block him. You don't have to read things like that from anybody, some women think there's no harm even if they don't really like it, but if he carries on talking that way then he's a bit of a pest. Who also lies about his age.If he was trying his luck to get you in to bed then he's a bit of a cad for going along with making plans with you and cancelling. Bit cheeky to be trying to contact you again without saying sorry for disappearing on you. Also don't give this a second thought as a knock back because he doesn't want to try dating you, he didn't even try to get to know you. Don't waste your time on a player he more than likely does this to everybody.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2016): Just ignore the message. You don't owe him a reply, you didn't ask him to text. Just leave it. He is trying his luck again, don't be an idiot and fall for it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 February 2016):
 WHY waste another second on this guy who has given you EVERY/ALL the signs necessary to understand that he wants, only, to get you in bed?
good luck....
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (23 February 2016):
 Yeah he wants to try again for sex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2016): That dude just wants sex.I would delete his number and not contact him again
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (23 February 2016):
He wants sex. He’s made no effort to get to know you or to find anything out about you. He could have said straight away that he wanted to get to know you properly too, but he sent a weird, vague response in the hope that you wouldn’t see it as a thinly-disguised confirmation that he just wants to hook up. You said yourself there were glaring red flags that you initially ignored. Well you know about them now so don’t ignore them again. Don’t even reply to him and block the number if you can.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 February 2016):
 He wants to hook up, - what else:) ?
In the light of his past actions and responses, that would seem the most logical answer.
In the improbabale case that he had been stricken by guilt like St. Paul on the road to Damascus, and wanted to make amends to you and offer you something serious.... don't you think he would have mentioned that ?... Like " Look, I know I have sort of been an ass...e, but... " " I know we started on the wrong foot, but... "
He is bored , or horny, or bored and horny, and he tries his luck again.
Yes, I know that you explained him clearly how you feel the first time.
But you would not believe how many many men operate on the assumption that, if you want to get laid, you can't take no, at least the first one, as an answer :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2016): I'm thinking he wants sex. He didn't respond bc a. You called him on his shit, or, b. He was annoyed you felt you had to clarify that/tried to make him admit it (thereby making him the "bad guy). He responded back not bc he found your number but bc he thought you'd change your mind, realize you were being unreasonable for having the audacity to actually want respect (how dare you!), and come gratefully crawling back to give him makeup sex. At least I think so anyway
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