A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi so I had been with my boyfriend for a year and a half when he cheated on me with a girl i was kinda friends with, he says its not cheating coz we werent together at the time coz we had been fighting a lot but i never knew we had actually broken up. So anyways he hooked up with this girl and broke my heart so much and we saw each other still for about 2 months then got back together. We are still together now but he is still talking to this girl and adding her on facebook and msging her on his phone and constantly hides his phone from me and wont let me use it and is always taking it with him so i cant look at his msgs. I dont know if he has feelings for her too. I think about it every single day and cry most days coz it hurts so much that he wanted her instead. It hurts so much that he would still talk to her when they really hurt me but he thinks its totally ok to be friends with her and he can do what he wants. What do i do? Am i meant to just get over it?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 October 2009):
No, it is not okay for him to be friends with a girl that he cheated with. AT ALL! This guy is disrespecting you completely and doesnt' care about you at all. You would be far better off getting rid of him, taking time to get over him and meeting a better guy who respecs you. This guy isn't worth another moment.
A
female
reader, nicollieollie  +, writes (3 October 2009):
no , honey, dont get over it. Its disrespectful to you that he keeps such contact with a girl he cheated on you with. Since he is with YOU, i suspect he just sees the other girl as an "easy fling" but that is still no reason to just let it go. Im thinking you should try telling him how it makes you feel that he does that and that if he doesnt stop, you will have to leave him. See what he says. By the way, he might agree and tell you he wont talk to her anymore but still do it when youre not around. If you find out he has been doing that, then he has issues and you should move on. you deserve better !
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (3 October 2009):
 No, you don't need to just get over it. What you need to do is kick him to the curb and find a man who will treat you better. No decent man would pull out the excuse that he did, and no decent man would hide his phone and pull those other sneaky tricks. You deserve to be with a man who is honest and trustworthy, and this man is NOT.
He broke your heart once in a really sleazy way. Don't let him do it again. Respect yourself and you'll find a better man in no time.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, devastated2008 +, writes (3 October 2009):
 No you are not meant to just get over it. He's still cheating with her... emotionally if not physically. He has an obligation to put your needs and feelings first... whether he has a "right" or not to be friends with her.You have the "right" to have friends that he might be uncomfortable with but my guess is that you would never do anything that would hurt him or make him uncomfortable.You have the "right" to expect the same from him, in fact, feel free to insist... and if he doesn't like it show him right where the door is.
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