A
female
age
30-35,
*onicaBoo_
writes:Okay so me and my boyfriend have been going out for 2 months now and he started talkinq bout having a baby with me. The thing is im 16 and he is 18. I told him i'm not ready to have a baby that's not in my life plan to be pregnant at 16. even though he tells me everything will be fine. He is already going to get his own house when he graduates he works and put money to the side to save up, he's gonna go to college, he's getting a car. So he is set but me i still have my life to live. When this subject comes up i tell him no and he gets sad..thats when i feel guilty because im denying him something special. Bad enough we had unprotected sex and he didnt "pull out" 2 times. Through out the 5 times we did it. I dont know..i juss need advice on what i should do..Help?
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female
reader, MonicaBoo_ +, writes (9 January 2011):
MonicaBoo_ is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello first off i will like to thank for those of u who took your time and helped me out by giving me advice.
Me and my boyfirend are "perfect" for each other we don't argue and even if we have a lil disaqreement he tells me "im sorry that's the last thing i want you to be is upset." We are both into the same things, both of us stopped drinking and smoking every since we got together n made a bet until we break up we will not touch no alcohol or ciggaretts. And he doesnt plan on doing that. Everything is nice we always laugh and goof around even if we pick on each other we laugh because we kno we dont mean it. But, this has only been 2 months. I know relationships arent always rainbow's and pony's but for now it seemes like it. Even though he talks about getting married with n having a family (which i believe it's too early to talk about that.) and how much he love's me.We are planning for the future (next couple months) and it seem's sweet to know he wants a future with me even if he is talking about having a baby at such a young age (by the way i am not pregnant n started talking birth control.) i think it's sweet.? He is not a selfish person or a bad guy i talked to him and he said he wouldnt bring it up and he hasn't . I let him kno when i finish school and i get a good paying job when i have a stable life then we can have one. Till then we have to take things slow. But for right now we are doing fine.
A
female
reader, livelifelove +, writes (8 January 2011):
NNNNNOOOOOOOO do not do that
you bearly know eachother and this is a long commitment
he is trying to trap you hunny me and my boyfriend have only been together for a yearr and im pregnant and i think i should of waited this is something not to rush in
it really isnt
and plus you are under age and at the hospital he will get arrested because you are a minor.
he should be ashamed of himslef does he have a job
did hefinsh school thats what you havee to think about
you are still in school or going to get your g.e.d do not do it get your eductaion this will deffentily mess up your whole life.
I hope you make the right decsion
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 You need advice ? You don't know what to do ????
C'mon, I don't believe you. I mean ,ok, you are only 16, you don't have a lot of life experience, probably you are in love - but, there is a limit to gullibility and "doormattism ".
You have been dating just 2 months, you don't even know him yet. You (rightly) don't want to be a mom at 16. He is set because he "says " he is gonna graduate, get a car, and buy a house.
Use your head, girl. I'me telling you that next year I am gonna buy me a nice villa in Beverly Hills, and a loft in Manhattan, and a red Ferrari- what would you tell me ? "I'll believe it when I see it ".
So, what you go to do is :1) tell him to stop talking rubbish, IF you'll be still together in a few years when you both will have finished school, and got a good job and
found a suitable accomodation, THEN you may talk about making babies
2) don't walk, run to your doctor and get the pill or the shot or the implant- some reliable contracception. STOP having unprotected sex. I would advise you to use condoms too, because after all you don't know him enough to be sure that he is monogamous and disease free
3) question why in the world it is so important for your bf becoming a father at 18 and where did he get this bizarre notion that impregnating a 16 y.o. girl is a good thing.
Even better, 4) my favourite in substitution of 1),2)and 3)-
ditch him immediately, he sounds like an airhead and a manipulator. You can do better.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Get on the pill, get the depo shot or an implant. This will put you in control and take away his.
He is being totally irresponsible and unacceptable. He is not prepared to have a child and him forcing his wishes on you just shows how little he cares about you and your life.
At this point you need to make it clear to him, that you dont want a baby now and if he continues with this then you dont want to be in this type of relationship. He will either make an effort to be with you and focus his energy on something else more fun or productive, or he will go find another girl who is more willing to be knocked up. Then you will know where his priorities lay.
Feel proud that you are making the decision to take control of your life and live it the way you want.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): how do tou have sex in refomatory
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A
male
reader, Loveless06 +, writes (8 January 2011):
Don't do it...don't let him give you the guilt trip over this. you are both way young to have a child and it's not easy. tell him that if he can't wait till he finishes colleges, gets a decent paying job and has a house then to forget about it. i'm 31 and my son is now 4 yrs old and trust me it's not easy. i love that I have him but it's a 24/7 job basically. he's gonna need insurance when he gets sick and food, roof over his head. if you get pregnant and he decides he can't take it, guess what? you have to provide for all this at 16. please please think bout it very hard because he's not respecting you at all. i agree with the other 2 people that responded to this. good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, MonicaBoo_ +, writes (8 January 2011):
MonicaBoo_ is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank You For The Advice I Will Definitely Take It To Consideration.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (8 January 2011):
 hi you're too young (and so is he!) and you don't want it! he's GONNA get his own house, WHEN HE graduates, he's GONNA go college, he's GETTING a car. (do you see what i'm saying?- he needs to have all those things ALREADY before you have a baby!) and while he's at college, he won't be able to be out working and earning enough money to support you and a baby. its either one or the other working to earn money OR college, he can't be in 2 places at the same time can he? you know perfectly well that getting pregnant is the wrong thing to do, and you've told him so, he should respect that, not try to talk you round. you should not be made to feel guilty because you won't give in to his ridiculous wishes! you are denying him nothing! if he is serious about you and things work out you have got years ahead of you to give him that 'something special'. does he have children in his life already, like in his family? does he know what it is like to look after them? is he really interested in kids or is he just wanting it to keep you tied to him? he's been with you for just 60 odd days, sorry to be blunt but just remember in another 2 months time you might not even be together. you need to be VERY CAREFUL with the birth control, and you will have to be the one that takes the responsibility for it, coz you are the only one out of the two of you with any sensexx
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A
female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Wait till after he buys a house and free he finishes school. It's not easy being a student, working and being the daddy a baby deserves. And u may feel bad that "you denying him something specail" but remeber having a babys going to deny you soooo much. Waiting is best. Anyways trust me its waaaaay better to have a baby after marriage. I learned that the hard way.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 January 2011):
 Your boyfriend sounds truly awful, he doesnt respect your wishes, he doesnt respect your body and doesnt respect your opinions.
He is a big fat gunna, hesa gunna do this and hesa gunna do that ... hesa gunna go to college and gunna buy a house.
Last time I looked college education in America is very expensive, and some families take out loans for their children to attend, has he really already earnt enough money from his part time job to pay for his college education AND to buy a house. Don't think so, he is living in fairy land and you will be the one who ends up living with the harsh reality of a baby with no one to adequately support it or you.
If he wont respect you give him the flick, you dont need this in your life at this stage, tell him to come back when he has his education, his full time job and his house!
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A
female
reader, bugaboo9842 +, writes (8 January 2011):
I think you should do what you want and when you want to do it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2011): How is he set again or did he win the lotto? He's going to have to do more than snap his fingers to have a house, save up money, buy a car and go to college...takes people until they are thirty to get set in that way if they work their asses off. Honestly he does not seem the type. maybe its the careleness in not using protection and how easy he thinks it'll all be. This isn't special..just a guy pulling a fast one on you.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (8 January 2011):
 If you are not ready to have a baby at your age (and it is too young for you anyway)you need to make sure you are either using reliable birth control methods, OR you might find yourself pregnant anyway. Then what would you do? You'd have the choice to have the child and give it up for adoption, or to have an early abortion. If this happened and you chose abortion, then the sooner the better.
However, your bf sounds selfish and you should not trust what he tells you about everythng will be fine. NOR should you feel guilty about refusing to let him get you pregnant! Just because he wants to, you don't have to go along with it you know.
No, if he can not respect your decision (and it sounds as if he's pushy) you should end it with him, and have done with the hassle.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (8 January 2011):
 You feel guilty?!? what!NooThe person who should be feeling guilty is the young man putting pressure on a 16 year old girl to have a baby she is not ready for and certainly does not need at an age where her life is just beginning!Of course you dont want a baby at your age you have school, college, nights out with friends, parties, a job and so many other things to look forward to, before you freedom and time are taken up by the demanding and expensive task that is raising a child.Darling you need to tell this boy straight that a baby is just not even an option and that is the last time you want to hear about it and wel if he dont stop then you should leave him because he clearly does not respect you or your wishes.Now as you had unprotected sex you need to get yourself check out at the sexual health clinic is pregnancy isnt the only thing you can get from unprotected sex, so please get checked out.Dont let yourself be pressured into anything i know what i wrote may seem slightly harsh but you so young you dont want to throw your future away for a guy who will most likely walk away and leave you holding the baby...literally
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