A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I am a senior in high school and 18. For two years now I have been singing with diffrent musicians at diffrent venues. Now that I am "legal" I am able to sing in bars....I have a new musician Im working with named "tom"...tom is 33..he has an 11 yr old son who lives with the mother and he also has a 21 year old live in girlfirned..why im saying this is becuase ive heard rumours he likes younger girls and to "be careful" around him.. i didnt seem to care at first but hell send me text messages calling me babe but they were just innocent then he started sending innaproraite forwards..again nothing to bad...he then got to the point of calling me amazing and saying he misses me... he will even go to the extent to say i look like some of his past girls hes messed around with..he says that in person(another thing is he knows Im a virgin because my mom said i never had a boyfriend) he later askd me "so you never kissed a guy?" which i have but still...inapropriate...soo today i asked if i could borrow one of his old guitars over the weekend..his response if youll kiss me...this freaked me out a lot my mom tells me i will get this a lot since im 18 now but i still think its weird im afraid he might try something with me....what should i do??
View related questions:
never had a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, honest_human  +, writes (19 December 2010):
Did you know, we are legal when we turn 16 in England! EW!
A
female
reader, swordandredrose +, writes (19 December 2010):
What don't you stop working with him? This person sounds like a pervert.
Does your job really worth being abused by this man? Don't think so.
I'd say you HAVE to stop working with this man.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): You dont sound as if you are enjoying this attention. I cant say i blame you. Hes old enough to know better....and he already has a young girlfriend sitting at home like a mug! It all makes him sound really sad! Be blunt with him and say you dont appreciate his jokes. 'Stone wall' any inappropriate remarks he makes. Bring his girlfriend into conversations, that acts like a bucket of cold water over most players heads. Men should respect you and stop pestering when they know you arent interested. Most pick up the fact when their advances arent welcome. This guy sounds a little dense, so be upfront with him and let him know for sure that you really arent interested in what hes trying to do. He will tone things down once he gets the message.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Sounds like there's truth to this rumor. Yes, your mother is correct you will get dirty older men hitting on you at any age. At some point when they become way too persistent it's called harassment.
In order to get him to back off of you, you're going to have to tell him off. Tell him you're interested in music not him, you'd appreciate it if he would cut out the inappropriate comments he makes to you, if not you'll find a new musician. Also kindly remind him he has a girlfriend. If he still carries on then I would find a new musician before it gets to the point he forces himself on you. Be careful.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): Unfortunately allot of men like really young girls, I notice it everywhere. Allot of the guys at work talk about 16, 17 and 18 year old "sexy babes" and stuff, I think it's rediculous. These guys are in there 30's an 40's and they think it's pretty normal behavior.
I my self can appreciate a pretty young thing, but I prefer my own age.
This musician you are working with obviously likes what he sees and will do anything to get down your pants. You being of "legal" age doesn't make his behavior ok.
He is 33 and experienced and all he wants to do is take advantage of a naive 18 year old girl.
The fact that you are of "legal" age means he cant go to jail for anything he does with you and he knows this.
I'd keep away if I were you. If you want to have fun in bed with a guy, do it with someone close to your own age.
If the 33 year old musician ends up getting his way with you, he has nothing to loose where as you do.
...............................
A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (16 December 2010):
 The first thing you need to to is gain some perpective!
Your mother is absolutely right, you will start to get attention from guys of all ages. Some will be polite and treat you with respect whereas others simply wont!
Right now youre worying yourself silly over this guy and his advances when (by the sounds of things) youre not in any danger as such.
Youre the one in control here, not these guys - if somebody makes unwelcome advances, you just have to calmly tell them youre not interested. Dont make a big deal out of it just be firm. Most guys will understand and back off, others may need telling more than once.
The fact your musician friend has thing for young girls is his business and you shouldnt let it worry you. I can see where youre comming from with the comments hes making but, he sounds harmless enough and is probably the ideal candidate for you to try out saying "NO" to.
Sit down with him and tell him you know he likes you but youre dont like him that way. It may sound like its hard to do but, trust me, the more you do it (and youre going to need to lots over the years) the easier it becomes and the better at it you become.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (16 December 2010):
This guy sounds like a predator, and the fact that he has a live in girlfriend is a red flag. Do yourself a huge favor and keep things professional between him and yourself. If you get involved it will only lead to heartache.
...............................
|
