A
female
age
26-29,
*cua_chick0411
writes:I need some advice on how to get ovr this guy I really like. He says he doesn't like me, yet we have made out before and was very close to sex. I am tired of feeling hurt around him. I see him at school everday, but next semester he is moving. Should I stop seeing him now? Or wait till the semester ends? I am afraid that if I keep seeing him this semester I'll like him more than I already do, but he is leaving soon and I won't seem him ever again. Somene please give me some advice. -Thank you foryour time. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ecua_chick0411 +, writes (29 November 2010):
ecua_chick0411 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you guys!
I will take your advice and not see him any more. You all have given me reasons not to. Thank you so much!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Please STOP seeing him, apart from you being too young for sex,my concern is YOUR emotional well-being. He is clearly NOT a nice person, and has made it clear to you, telling you " he doesn't like you" so even if YOU like him, why would you allow a boy close to you that you knew that he didn't like you??
Please, please, as much as it might upset you, by not seeing him, take a HUGE step back, DON'T see him, and certainly don't ever let him just use your body, if you did you would feel so HURT afterwards, as he is NOT going to care for you, show you love or affection. In fact quite the opposite!
There will be plenty of other boys as you grow up, who will LIKE YOU and what you as a girlfriend, not as some toy for them to pick up and put down. NEVER ever have sex with a boy you are NOT in a loving, long term relationship with, lots of dating first, so you get to know what kind of boy he is first. Boys don't respect girls that have sex quickly, that I promise you.
At your age concentrate a bit more on YOU, being with friends and doing the best you can at school, as ALL that will put you on the best path for the future, including finding a nice boyfriend when the time is right.
Jilly
...............................
A
female
reader, breannaleal +, writes (28 November 2010):
well if he says he doesnt like you thats it, u guys probably came close to sex cuz thats all he wants from you. hes not worth it look for sum1 who will wait at ur pace and will make u feel like a princess not sum1 who dsnt like u but wnts to get in ur pants.
...............................
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (28 November 2010):
This isn't nothing but pain for you here. Don't have sex with him because nothing will change. A lot of guys can have sex with you and feel nothing for you afterwards. Just let this go.
...............................
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Stop seeing him right now. If he doesn't like you he doesn't deserve your love or sex. He is not going to stop hurting you and he is not gonna like you more if you have sex with him.
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 I agree, there's no point in causing yourself more heartache if he's just going to be leaving. He says he doesn't like you, which is rotten to know, but there will be plenty of other people as you grow up who will like you back.
Be strong, and leave him be. Good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): You have been conned by a manipulative boy. Such boys are not to be trusted.
Lust is such a seductive deceiver. Lust is not love
No man and no woman has ever died because they FAILED to have sex.
Love takes so much longer to develop.
Sex does not come before love. Despite what some unscrupulous boys will try to suggest.
Friendship is followed by caring and affection, but sex is not required to confirm that affection, which is not love.
The stirrings of a crush (which will fade) can follow a feeling of affection. A crush is not love.
At this stage you must resist the lust of unscrupulous young men. The lust does not mean they love you.
You may even feel lust for a young man. But at 13-15 you are ill equipped to cope with a testosterone charged powder keg of a young man intent on having sex.
You will be overwhelmed and think it means so much more to the young man. But to him it is just sex.
Now if you are willing to take the slower more reliable road to love: If the friendship deepens you may discover more about the values, attitudes and directions and interests that you have in common. But a good man will still not push you to have sex. Because he respects you. When the love grows you will not have the good man on a pedestal, you will be realists about each other. You will start to make plans for the future. And you will have no secrets, want the best for each over, communicate well together. At this point you may have been together for 2 years. It is the respect between you both that allows you to grow together as best friends. But sex is not required to keep the relationship going.
you both will be proud to introduce each other to family and friends and work colleagues as a special friend. You are a couple, though probably do not live together yet. You are saving regularly as you have goals for the future.
And you are now possibly closer being aged over 20. And the inevitable fact that you can see yourselves as permanent partners in the future mean that you make more concrete plans to be together for a long time.
You will feel more comfortable with him than anyone else you have ever known. And some time prior to this you both are likely to have revealed to each other that you genuinely love each over. That revelation is NOT a trigger to require that you have sex, and an honorable man will not push, if you say you want to wait. Marriage may be discussed, as will how you handle money, how well you spend and save money, if you want children together. Where you want to live. And you will not contemplate sexual relations without discussing and organising contraception. And contraception will continue until you discuss when you want to start a family. By this stage an honorable man will have already married you.
Now to a dishonorable man:
Heartbreaking though it is to come to this realisation, the following are hard, sobering lessons you need to take head of:
1. Unscrupulous boys and men don't need to like a girl to have sex with her, they only need the opportunity to do so.
2. The same unscrupulous boys and men (UBAM) don't need a reason to have sex, they just need a place where they do the deed.
3. UBAM like to give fellow UBAM a complete account of who they scored with, where they scored, how they got to score with her any identifying remarks about the girl. If they can remember the name of the girl they'll add that in too, though that's not so important to them.
4. Numbers are what count to UBAM. They also tend to embellish their achievements. So almost completing the act means they will tell their fellow UBAM
That full intercourse occured, even if they only got close.
5. All Males under 18 and immature UBAM are particularly addicted to trying to bed what is often described as 'gaol bait'. Sorry to have to be a realist. But 'gaol bait' is a girl under the age of legal consent. 13-15 meets that criteria for a UBAM.
5. UBAM use techniques that involve the right moves and words to try to get the girl to fall in love with them. Initially they may also give the girl some gifts. Then they use further techniques to cajole the girl into letting them go all the way including manipulation and guilt (look at all i've done for you/presents i gave you) But once full or near enough coitus has been achieved they've finished the game. Their next goal is another girl as naive as the one they just bedded. There is no love involved for the UBAM, it is just sport for their lust and allowing them to service a female with their penis.
Wait until you are 18 and find a nicer kinder more genuine guy who is not a UBAM.
In the interim your studies and your physical fitness is far more important. Leave it to the silly girls to be serviced by the UBAM. By the time the silly girls are 18 everyone will have tagged them as 'easy' and worse.
Kinder more honorable respectful over 18 years old men will want to avoid such girls.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 November 2010):
You'd be better to stop seeing him now. Apart from you being too young for sex, it's not like he's offering you anymore than that. And the last thing you need is to be used by him. so, my suggestion is that you start to pull away from him now, so you don't get hurt and used more later.
...............................
A
male
reader, ivanichiaynus +, writes (28 November 2010):
 He DOESN'T like you; all he wants is to stick it in you and then he will walk away!
Respect yourself and walk away first, please.
Ivan.
...............................
A
male
reader, not fat +, writes (28 November 2010):
stop seeing him. good luck, you are young and have a lot of life ahead of you.
...............................
|
