A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:First,let me start with my mistake. I started an affair before I decided for sure to leave my husband of 9 years. Husband is a good man, but we married at 19 and my feelings have changed. I love him, but no longer in love or desire him. We have a 6 month old son together.3 month ago I met a man. He was interesting and fun. We decided to start a purely sexual relationship. I had never cheated but i agreed. After a month of seeing this other man he asked me on a real date. I went. It was amazing and found that we are compatible in somany ways.I realized that I would never feel this for my husband and that I need to leave. I started planning an out for me and my son. 2 months in, I realized I am in love with this other man. Foolish? Yes. But I am. He is in love with me. So r whe says. Howvwer, 3 weeks ago I found out that he has a 19 year old girlfriend. He is 40, I am 29, btw. When I asked why he didn't tell me, he said he didn't think we would fall for each other. Wqhen we did he was afraid he wopuld lose me if he told me.I asked if he was breaking up with her and he said he cares about hewr but she is young and her heart is tender but he doesn't know how to end it without crushing her. He promised her mom and dad that if they allowed her to see him, he wouldn't hurt her. He feels obligated and guilty.I want him and he says he wants me. He saysa he is trying to leave her peacefully but is a coward. Should I hang on to a man I love and wait for him to end it with this girl? I realize I am a fool at this point, but my love is real. Any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAbsolutely. My son is the first and last thing I think about. Leaving his father was a decision I didn't make overnight. I will ALWAYS make sure he is safe, well taken care of and happy. Just because I am a single mommy doesn't mean he won't be. I make enough money to support us comfortably.I know he comed FIRST.if I didn't care about this man I would never have introduced my baby to him. I need advice about the crazy relationship that I started. My time with my boy will never be an issue.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 March 2011):
 You need to face the fact that your boyfriend ain't gonna leave his teenager for you and your kid. Start getting your life in order for your son's sake. Once you get things stabilized then you can start thinking about your love life. Your first priority is your child and hopefully you don't need a bunch of strangers to tell you that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt is true; I have made a mess. Yes, we have moved out on our own. Even if this doomed relationship doesn't work, and I think my heart knows to walk away, my marriage is done and has been for some time now.
I can't help that I have strong feelings for him. I just can't understand his reasoning with staying with her.
She lives an hour away and their relationship is via phone except some weekends. But I still question my sanity for even considering it.
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (22 March 2011):
Don't listen to them, listen to me because I will always tell you the truth. I see a few things that they having hit on and if you can come to see these points I think it would set your mind free.
She's 19:
Or you kidding me that a man would walk a from a 19 year old girl for a 30 year old lady with kids. Think of it like this. A hotty or a bag? Come on now you need money to compete with her age. T heir’s no way on earth that he went to her parents and said he wouldn't hurt her. I have a 15 year old and my first reaction is to protect her even with my own freedom at stake.
Married:
As a man I would see you no more than a cheater and I just can't take a cheater seriously, even if you were cheating with me. I could never trust you because like your husband...you will cheat when times get tough. No sense and telling you to work it out with him because you ended it three months ago.
My advice to you is: http://www.divorcewriter.com/ let this man find a woman that cares!
Don't wait because more likely cheaters hate dating other cheater because they know their partner will cheat.
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A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 This is a total disaster for everyone. i simply don't believe him and his story. It is two affairs to start and now it's a mess. And I wonder if he really is in love with you. So I would just leave things now. It's not gonna work lady!
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A
male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (21 March 2011):
I don't think this relationship will go anywhere but you can be patient and see if things work out. If it doesn't then move on. I doubt I could ever trust someone like the 40 yr old guy who initially wanted a sexual relationship and also had a 19 yr old on the side. Considering the whole scenario I doubt any of this will lead to somewhere good. I feel sorry for the little son involved.
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A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (21 March 2011):
I agree with dirtball
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male
reader, Mig29  +, writes (21 March 2011):
you got what you are giving your husband....
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 March 2011):
 A man cheating on his girlfriend with a woman who's cheating on her husband...Like this doesn't have FAIL written all over it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 March 2011):
Have you left your husband?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): But he doesn't mind crushing you and messing you about with a small child? you have a serious case of wishful thinking going on if you really think he's serious about you or in love with you in any way.
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