A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 5 1/2 months. A few weeks ago he moved away for work for 3 months. It was my birthday last week and he sent me nothing. Yes he rang a few times on the day and sent a few texts...its not like he forgot. I asked him earlier if he actually got me something because i have been checking the mail daily. He said he is still lokking for something online...???I told him notr to bother as my birthday has come and gone, and i was only concerned it h ad been lost in the mail.He then rang and didnt mention the trexts, or my birtday, saying he was only ringing to say hello...I dont get it? Is this guy just real bad at communication or am I being used to look after his place while he hs gone?Someone give me a heads up please! I am confused and dont want to be made a fool of...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): Just need to clarify, I am not living at his place... I am checking mail etc...
A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (28 January 2010):
 It seems that you simply 'expected' to get a present or something, and are a little disappointed.
Well I personally feel that you are missing the point slightly.
The man has gone away to work. He isn't on holiday. He lets you, allows you, to live at his place while he is gone, and you feel he is using you?
Was he brought up in a family where birthdays are no big deal? Many of us were. In our house, we were lucky to get fed, let alone a present.
I cannot believe that at your age, lack of a birthday gift is grounds for serious complaint. He isn't cheating. He doesn't abuse you. He sounds fairly generous. He trusts you. In fact, he sounds like an all round decent bloke.
How do you know that he wont come back, laden with gifts?
Just remember why he is your boyfriend, and you like him because of who he is, not how much he spends.
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A
female
reader, Gridrebel  +, writes (28 January 2010):
 Some men are not that romantic and lean more towards the practical side. As you have only known him for 5.5 months, how was he during the last holidays? Usually people who travel for extended periods in their job are really busy and he might have a lot on his plate and doesn't need to be worrying about extra right now. Also, some people think that once they start dating, it's a lifetime commitment to that relationship. Dating is a time to get to know the person you are seeing in order to tell if you do or don't want a lifetime relationship with that person. You are not married and really haven't been together that long. If you are questioning his position then: How much do you know about him? What type of employment and why long jobs. Is he different when you are together? Have you met any of his family? Do a little investigation and when your questions are answered you will be able to make a wiser decision.
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A
male
reader, tonym +, writes (28 January 2010):
In life the little things ell you the biggest things.
For example the way a person who treats the little people, like door staff, waiters or waitresses tells you their true personality.
There are many games that go on, but not to acknowledge your boyfriend or girlfriends birthday (when you have reminded them) there simply is o excuse.
You have to value yourself are you a piece of coal or a diamond. One is rare the other isnt.
Quite simply you are giving away the best of you for free. Sell yourself like a drug.. you are the prize.
Now ditch him.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (28 January 2010):
 Sorry hun, you are more into this guy than he is into you.
Being away from home for work is no excuse for forgetting your birthday.....and to be still looking online???
Hun, personally I think you are worth more, time to reconsider the relationship.
Honeygirl
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (28 January 2010):
 Maybe he's broke, maybe he can't afford presents. Maybe it's like he said, he didn't know what to buy, and is still looking online.
Your 36-40years old, and your crying about a stupid birthday present... wow.. guy remembered to call, but no, that's not enough, your sulking because you didn't get a gift. Maybe I'm just old, or maybe I'm not into material objects, but the guy remembered, he called, he said he was looking for something, don't understand why your upset and think there is something wrong with him.
My mother always told me that gifts are nice, but they are not guaranteed. If you don't like living at his place, and need a guy who can spend money on your birthday, maybe you should dump him and find someone else. I'm sure there are plenty of people that wouldn't mind staying in his flat and looking after it.
Two questions, are you living in his place rent free, or are you paying for it? Is it a difficulty living at his place, is it causing trouble in your life?
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 January 2010):
I agree with caringguy. This guy is a douche, it's time to lose him. C'mon how hard is it to send a birthday card or buy a bouquet of flowers from proflowers???
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (28 January 2010):
He's nowhere near interested in you enough to be worth your time. Working away is no excuse. Still looking? What a load of crap. He just doesn't seem that bothered.
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