A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi my boyfriend cheated on me and i know he is sincerley sory and i want to forgive, though i try i just can't seem to get rid of this anger i feel towards him, even though i know he is sorry and has told me he regrets it cant explain why he did it and all that, and i do believe him i do. but how do i stop feeling this angry and needy of him, it hurts so much , most nights i just cry , what do i do ....?
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female
reader, Just.me  +, writes (24 February 2008):
Wow...this is a common theme around here. I would not be so quick in taking him back. I did that with my ex and I regret it. He will learn that it is o.k. to treat you this way, that it is o.k. to disrespect you, that it is o.k. to lie. I once asked my ex why he did it and he said he did not know. WELL he cheated 3 times, and still claimed I was the love of his life. I know, i know STUPID me.... I have learned, trust me. When I asked him about this last one he said he cheated because he thought he could get away with it. WOW, being that he worked out of town, it was pretty easy.
I would have to say, take a break. Don't make it that easy for him to come back into your life. Make him work for it. Trust me, take the time before you get pregnant with his baby!!!
A
female
reader, speedcat  +, writes (23 February 2008):
Sounds like you havent forgiven,,,,and maybe you shouldnt so easily. Things as complicated as cheating sometimes takes a long time to work through. Dont make it so easy for him,,,,but if you trully want to forgive him then you really need to let him know exactly how your feeling let it all out! but eventually you need to put it behind you for good if not itll never work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): It sounds to me as if you need to take a break from him, don't take him back so easily and don't accept a lame excuse as he doesn't know why he did it, yes he does, he is not committed to you......tell him you need some time apart, that you are still angry and not ready to forgive him....tough if he doesn't understand, those are the consequences of his unfaithful acts....You need to ask yourself why you want to keep this turd in your life, and if you don't know the answer to that question, then you haven't sat and thought it through....You are acting desperate and needy if you understand and believe him you really do, believe what? He hasn't said he is sorry or done anything to earn back your trust....seriously, he needs to earn his way back in.....and only you can decide when it is enough, and when you are no longer angry may be a good indication that he has earned his way back in....you are not the problem here, you are angry at his betrayal of trust and rightly so, it is he that has to apologize and mean it, and earn his way back into your good graces....remember, we teach people how to treat us, and if you take on this as your problem you aren't doing yourself or him any favors.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (23 February 2008):
 You dont stop. The only way you can heal is by dumping his cheating ass. Once a Cheater...Always a cheater. Especially if he says he does not know why he did it. It is an invitation for you to have the word DOORMAT on your head
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (23 February 2008):
 Hi
Its a bit worrying that he doesnt know why he did it?
How do you know now he wont do it again if thats the case.
Anger can take a long time to go. Sometimes it doesnt towards that person.
It will probably ease in time, but only if you speak about it as much as you personally might need to with him. Questions answering and that. Im sure him saying he doesnt know why he did it doesnt help.
C xxxxx
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