A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: hello. i need help....MY boyfriend of 8 months has been cheating on me with his ex.. on day i was hanging out at home when his ex girlfriend came to my house and told meh everything. ill tell u the convorsation" Yeah. hes been having sex with me tellin meh that he loves meh and doesnt love u stevie.(my name) he says that he only wants to be with me but he doesnt knoe how to tell u. this has been going on for about three in a half monhs" i just stood there with m mouth wide open, " ARe u serious . because he tells me all the time how much hes glad to be with me and that hes ove ru an and past relationships and doesnt want anyone else" i called him to meet up with him and when he did both me an his ex gf met him. he was shocked at first. then started yelling at her, after she left he got down on one knee and was saying hhow much he loved meh and it was only for sex and that i wasnt suppose to find out this wasy.. i dont believe him and i go home. he texts me all through the night then he says hes going to kill himself if he cant be with me sicne i make his life worth living for, he swears it was only for sex. i dont reply to anything and then the next day i get a call from some type of place saying they have him because he tried beating himself to death. (Like actually hitting him self with hard heavy objects) when they let him go home he texts me saying that i could go through his phone whenever for whatever reason go with him wheneve i wanted go every where with him.... i just wanna knoie u alls opinion. should i give him another chance or just let him go..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Even if men were 'designed' to have sex with as many women as possible, as one of the answers says, that doesn't justify the act of cheating. There are still such things as impulse control and morals, which is also part of being human.
Get as far away from him as possible. Not only can he not be trusted, he obviously has some very serious emotional issues.
You're not responsible for any harm he inflicts upon himself. Don't let feeling guilty about that be the reason you take him back.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): Well. It is nature's design that men want to have sex with as many women, that they consider attractive, as they can get. That is because men carry sperm while women carry eggs. No philosophy or theory could work as a counter arguement versus the nature of human beings. If you want to get a man that does not "cheat", you have probably watched too much television or you are attracted to same-sex quallities.
Even though, your inconsiderate act of breaking up with him just because he did what his body was designed to do brought to surface a potentially dangerous and totally dishonest aspect of his personality.
I would not want to be close to people who lie to me or are capable of becoming violent over such trivial matters. You should also ask for monthly std checks in any kind of erotic relationship you might have in the future, since our gender is meant to have sex casually with a lot of female partners
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): thanxx so much for the advice my ex just called at 4:01 in the morning ans asked for me back he was my first love and he broke my heart we dated for a year... and my love for him was so strong... ladies we dont deserve to be mistreated and cheated on DONT TAKE HIM BACK!! if i can say no to my first love because he cheated then so cant you! cheating is not right in any circumstances!!!!
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A
female
reader, Hard_decision  +, writes (3 June 2010):
Sociopath! Dont go there - leave him! I went thru the EXACT same thing..My then partner cheated the entire relationship, i only found out when he knocked one of em up. Told me he was sorry, begged for forgiveness, tried to guilt me by telling me he would hurt himself (all talk) found out whilst begging for me back n telling me im all he wanted, he was still saying the same thing to the other girl.. run love... atleast you were only with him for a short while, I was with mine for 3 years before i found out! DONT BELIEVE A WORD HE SAYS!
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A
female
reader, MiscellaneousG +, writes (2 June 2010):
Continue to ignore him and do NOT give him another chance. Don't even allow him to be your friend. Someone who cheats on you like that--over a span of 3.5 months is not someone who cares about you. Do not succumb to his pathetic manipulation of that ounce of feelings you still have for him.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 June 2010):
Under no circumstances give this man a chance. No way. And make sure you cut contact too.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 June 2010):
 He sounds like a loser. Lying to her AND lying to you. Yuck. If he'd been my boyfriend, he'd now be my ex-boyfriend. Buh-bye.
And the ridiculous self-harming scene? That's really low emotional blackmail, IF it happened. It's more likely HER current boyfriend found out and beat him up. I'm sorry, but I have never heard of anyone committing suicide by beating himself up. That's ridiculous.
Who needs drama from a liar and a cheat? Yuck.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (2 June 2010):
 Let him go he cheated on you and now is trying to manipulate you by threatening to hurt himself. Not worth the headache he cheated on you ask him to man up.
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (2 June 2010):
 Let him go.
First of all, he was with her "only for sex"? How does that justify him cheating of you? Who cares if he wasnt planning to leave you for her; he was sneaking around behind your back and clearly thinks its justifiable. Which it isnt.
Secondly, his behaviour after you found out seems like extreme emotional blackmail. He was trying to get you back by threatening suicide - that is NOT a fair pressure to put on you. I have dealt with people like this before, and in my experience its just an attempt to guilt you and control you. Dont feel that you are responsible for what he chooses to do to himself.
Obviously its your decision, but I would urge you to cut your connection with this guy, and find somebody more stable, who values you enough to never dream of cheating on you.
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (2 June 2010):
 Hmmm, so the thinks cheating is OK if it's "just for sex"? And what happens the next time he "just" wants sex with someone else? Sounds like he's only upset because he got caught, and he'll be more careful not to get caught next time.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 June 2010):
 Drop him. He is manipulating you with his suicide threats and self harm. He doesn't love you if he's lying and being with his ex. He's the worst kind of selfish jerk.
You have no obligation to help him. Do NOT give him any chances. He carried out a LONG TERM cheating with his ex, and was telling her he didn't care about you. He's not worth your time.
You need to be with someone who cares enough about you to remain faithful. Nothing less. This guy is lint on your shoe.
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