A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:pls can someone tell me why my partner constantly accuses me of going on dating sites, meeting men and sleeping with them. i have in the past been to chat sites and chatted, flirted a little but that is all its been, and only went there when we fell out and i was hurt and angry, never ever have i met or had any intentions of meeting men, as i'm truly inlove with my partner and sexually attracted to him in a big way, i have constantly shown him what he means to me in everyway possible and kept my promise that i wont go to any chat sites,but he says im addicted to these sites and cheating is my kick,i am amazed at how he has worked that one out when im prepared to spend 24/7 with him is this the signs of a dating site addict,i got so upset today i walked out on him as he obviously see`s me as a slag, flirt, tart etc and this hurts so much as he can see how these accusations are destroying me also being called a liar everytime,why is he doing this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): why is this guy still hounding me when we are over and i am now dating someone else he is stalking me i believe he is mentaly unstable
A
male
reader, asap09marc +, writes (27 July 2010):
 chick,did he not see any profile or owt?
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A
male
reader, asap09marc +, writes (27 July 2010):
possibly because he`s seen all your profiles chick.
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A
female
reader, breathless +, writes (24 September 2008):
why are you wasting your time trying to prove that your worthy of his love,if he is unable to see how much you love him then he dont deserve you or maybe he is trying to get out of being with you,because he`s himself is sleeping around has his behaviour changed is he very secretive with his phone,is it always on silent,is he spending more time away from you,is he breaking or letting you down on pre arranged dates,has he stopped saying he loves you if you can say yes to any of these questions then i am positive he`s sleeping with someone else that is why he is accusing you.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (24 September 2008):
 Major jealousy issues thats why.
You are gonna spend all your time trying to prove you are worthy to this guy unless he gets some help to find out why he is so insecure.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (24 September 2008):
 This is a hard situtaion to be in and resolve isn't it! Do you know if your husband's trust issues stem from being cheated on in past relationships...or whether maybe one of his parents was a cheater? The reason I ask is that they seem pretty ingrained.
When he accuses you of being on a dating site, sleeping with people etc - do you end up in a HUGE fight? Think about how you are communicating with him at these times (believe me - I know it must be so hurtful and frustrating if you have done none of what he is saying).I am wondering if you could try taking a new tact - sometimes changing the 'pattern' of communication around a "hot topic" can make a big difference.
Try to stay calm and rather than going straight into "defending" yourself (which is a natural response), try first to reflect back what he is saying to you. You might say, I can see that you're angry with me, you believe blah blah blah....
so he know's you have listened to him, heard his concerns etc and hopefully he will then stay a bit calmer too.
If he does, you could try telling him how sad it makes you that he thinks you'd do that...then ask him what makes him believe you've done that? Have you done something that proves it?
This is to try and get him to think about what he's saying - and "back it up" with some facts. If it is all fictitional, he shouldn't be able to come up with anything susbstantial - which may diffuse the argument/situation.
Your husband is currently not seeing reality - he is too blinded by his emotions and anger.
Ideally - your husband should see a counsellor to talk through his trust issues - or you both could go along together. If he won;t do this - you might find it helpful to talk with someone about this - to get some strategies and help you to figure out how to respond to him more constructively.
Good luck.
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