A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi... I am in a very frightening situation some people may have been in before. I was recently living with this guy whom I've met at my job, because he believed he could help me further with my education and help me out. I know I should not have, but I got drunk, like really drunk one night, and the next morning, I found myself awakening in HIS bed! I have no recollection of the night before. I have questioned him about it and he tells me nothing happened, he just was trying to help me, because I wouldn't go to sleep, so he said he finally got me to calm down and sleep in his bed. Now this man is single and very lonely. Given the chance, would a man have done something? I am worried that I am pregnant. My question is, one, what are the early signs of pregnancy, and two, was I raped?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): (a) did you go out with him and get drunk? or (b) did you come home to him in that condition? if A, then sure there is a chance he tried something on you, especially if you were hanging on him, flirting, or willing! But, if B. then likely he didnt have anything to do with it and you are probably fine...it IS your roommate. Was he naked too? Where the clothes in a pile on the floor or all over the room?
i have been in his situation before and a buddy's girlfriend was drunk as a skunk stripping her clothes off before i could leave her house. luckily i did the right thing and left!
if he is a good guy then dont call the authorities. just go get tested.
best of luck
A
female
reader, penta +, writes (12 September 2007):
 BTW, for me, tender breasts, exhaustion and (of all things) gas were early signs of pregnancy. I didn't get nausea until 7 weeks after I'd missed my period, and some women don't get it at all.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (12 September 2007):
When I was a freshman in college, I frequently had blackouts during drinking. Different people react to alcohol differently.
Have yourself checked for STDs and pregnancy, just in case, but don't jump to the conclusion that there was sex. If you trust this guy enough to live with him, there must be a reason.
If you're experiencing blackouts, you need to stop drinking to excess. The next time you might not wake up at all. You never know what you do during those times.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (12 September 2007):
 You can not claim you were raped if you have no recall of the night. Maybe you took advantage of him. Maybe you were the one who suggested sex. Maybe he was drinking too. This should be a good lesson. If you have no recollection of what happened, why do you assume he might have done something wrong? If you were both drunk, in various degrees and agreed to sex, who's wrong. Make sure you know what you're talking about before you open up this situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): I don't know if you are pregnant or if you were raped. The thing that I find so odd is that you got drunk and can't remember ANYTHING?? That doesn't sound right in my opinion. Maybe he spiked your drink with the "date rape" drug. That sounds very likely because I cannot concieve of any other way that you could possibly not remember this night at all.
The whole thing sounds so sketchy that I would not doubt any of your concerns at all. What I would do if I were you, (and trust me, you should do this if you don't want to be looking back on this several years from now and be so angry that you didn't) is I would go to the police and tell them what happened. Exactly what you just told us. They may even be able to brief you more into what could have happened and hopefully even help provide further tests to see if there is any possibility that you may have been raped. They could even test you for drugs to see if you have any drugs in you that he may have spiked your drink with.
I would NOT be staying with this guy any longer. If you have a freind or a parents house you can go to, you should go there till you find a place of your own.
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A
male
reader, jm81690 +, writes (11 September 2007):
 I've never heard of someone being so drunk they don't remember a single thing.I drink a lot, and even had alcohol poisoning before, but I've never had a night where I woke up and didn't remember a single detail of what happened.Did he mix you any drinks? Sounds like you could have gotten drugged, or maybe you passed out and he did something.But if a girl is that drunk you don't just convince them to sleep in your bed to calm them down, sounds to me like he's telling you some lies.If I were you I wouldn't go near that guy again.As far as pregnancy, a woman would answer this better, but skipped periods are a sign. If you're worried buy a pregnancy test.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): I can't help you with the early signs of pregnancy however i wouldn't jump to the conclusion that you were raped. If you are worried about it go to the doctors who can carry out testes to check this out. if it turns out that you were raped counselling is important as well as following it up with the police. sorry i cant help any more, hope it helps
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