A
female
age
30-35,
*uperbunny
writes:Why must I get so jealous? I'm not in a relationship atm, but when I am or I get close to a guy, when I find out things about him or other girls he's been with, I get so jealous. I can't help it. My ex's best friend was a girl and I was so jealous of their relationship [they'd been good friends since they were little] and even now when I'm talking to new guys, I dread to think what they're going to tell me about past girls. I don't know what it is. x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): Jealousy is a tough thing to deal with. It happens to the best of us. But like kenny says, you are not going to meet anybody who doesn't have a past. Is there an adult you can talk to about this? I know this sounds weird but parents can be so comforting and wise sometimes when we have issues that we feel we can't control. It's like we look up to them and whatever they say is usually meant for the best. I think.
I don't know. I have struggled with jealousy my whole life just like you. I have learned to deal with it on my own. And sometimes I wish I could talk to my parents about it. Not my friends. Just my parents. Cause they are older and wiser and they love me like no one else does. It's hard to explain. But at this stage in my life I am afraid they will be judgemental.
The way that I have always dealt with jealousy is by convincing myself that I don't care. There are always going to be temptations with guys. We just have to learn to play the game. To accept the game. It's like fairy tales and movies always have this depiction of love that is so unrealistic. Love is a tough thing. And it requires tough people to deal with the "right" way. Strong women. Realistic women. Just be realistic. But be strong.
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (11 September 2007):
 Unfortunately you are not going to meet many guy that have not had a past of some form or another. When you meet a guy you can't let past girl friends create jealous feelings within you, and if his best friend is a girl so what. I think you need to focus on the positives and stop dwelling on the negatives. Think that the guy you are with is with you because he thinks your great, and lucky for you he did split form that other girl.So when you start chatting to a guy accept the fact that he more than likely did have a girlfriend before you, but he is not with her in the here an now. So forget about past loves and look forward torwards the future.Good luck x
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