A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 4 months has asked me to go to his friends wedding in May.Not a problem really, until you take into accoiunt that his very maliscious, nasty and bitchy ex will be there - who has a real thing against me (she had my boyfriend wrapped around her little finger, even for months after they split up, until he met me really.) And she's very pally with all of his friends who will be at this wedding, including the bride and groom.I'm not a bitchy type of girl, I don't like confrontation from other girls or angry ex's. I really want to go, mainly for my boyfriend's sake as I know he really wants me to go, I can just see myself being really awkward and shy...How do I get through this?
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shy, split up, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): Just don't worry about it. Have fun with your boyfriend, the less you care, the more she will get frustrated and she wont be able to do anything. also you will gain mega kudos and respect points from your boyfriend if youre self confident and trusting of him enough to not care.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys your words of support really helped :) I'll be going with my head high and my man on my arm lol x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys your words of support really helped :) I'll be going with my head high and my man on my arm lol x
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 If all you focus on is his bitchy ex, she wins.
I would not let her intimidate me, and go, with the intention of being the most engaging, lovely, reasonable and personable girlfriend at the party! Your boyfriend will be thrilled with not having to either be worried about his ex's bad behavior or your being uncomfortable, and he will be proud that you have risen above this and are making the best of things. That's the only way that his friends are going to eventually accept you too, by simply living him and not being bitchy and choosing sides. Classy always wins out over bitchy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): I hear you. Been there.
Be you. Stand your ground, keep your personality.
Rule one: Disregard her. Pretend she's not there. Literally act like she is invisible. Tell yourself that throughout the event she's not even there; see through her, past her, walk around her, you don't hear her, don't see her, don't even acknowledge she exists. Truly behave as if she were never born; she's invisible.
If she's malicious such that she infiltrates your space and interaction with others, be physical right back: move your body to be directly in front of her or away from her. Demonstrate an active contempt by snubbing. Bullies must be handled by taking their fodder away: attention shut down with a blatant effort to demonstrate their presence is worthless. If she enters your circle or table or comes up to you, hold your head high and say things which direct the attention right onto anything and anyone that is not her. She must be treated as if she is non- existent.
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A
female
reader, kaylagal  +, writes (30 April 2009):
 Be classy and act like you don't know who she is. She might try show you that she's cool with everyone, ignore that too. Just concentrate on YOUR man and act like you are not phased by anything else in the world. And off course, have some fun.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009): Go with him, if you don't go, she'll win. He's your man now and she is old news
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A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (30 April 2009):
 if she gets nasty say something like 'i left that in the playground'
it should put her in her place without being too mean.
there are always going to be people who don't like us and it is something you have to deal with. we can't be loved by everyone.
so just ignore it , if you want to be totally unconfrontational just ignore her comments shes the idiot not you. you have the guy rememeber that. if it was me i would kiss my guy right in front of her and see her reaction but then i don't care what people think.
neither should you.
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