A
male
age
30-35,
*dog1122
writes:I am 18 and my girlfriend will be 18 next month, we have been dating for 6 months. Her dad is a total hard ass, he is beyond over protective and he hates me jsut because I am dating his daughter. Afew nights ago we were in her basement fooling around and we didnt hear her dad come in and he ended up walking in on me doing oral sex to her. Needless to say he lost it and told me I had 5 minutes to get out of his house and never come back. My gf is mad at me, she thinks if I coem over and talked to ehr dad he will forgive me, I think if he sees my face again , he wil shot me ( this man is crazy enough to do it). What do I do, I dont want her to think I dont care, but I dont wan thim madder then he already is.thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): I think the first thing to think of is for your safety! Stay away from that guy! And then i should think its best if you leave it for your girlfriend to sort out with her father and then hopefully they can sort something out...
A
female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (24 July 2010):
 I think you have screwed the pooch on this one, dude, you were having sex of any kind in his house with his daughter while he was out.
Total disrespect. An apology is not necessary, you can't apologize for his daughter's behavior, after all, it was her who had you over there in the first place...this is between her and her Dad.
She is going to have to learn that while living under his roof, he makes the rules. If he doesn't want her seeing you again, then he is within his rights to tell her so.
Because you don't agree or don't like him does not make him crazy. That is his daughter, he is trying to raise her to be a responsible adult, not an unwed pregnant teen, that is his fear, and you have disrespected him and his authority. Deal with it, that is the consequence of your and your girlfriend's actions.
Stay away from her.
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888  +, writes (24 July 2010):
 Ms Blossom, I respect and salute your perspective, but, and correct me if my assumption is too far fetched, I'm guessing at one point or another after the fact, this gentleman's girlfriend has had to talk to her father about it and apologize. Therefore, based on that reason alone, the poster needs to apologize because it does take two to tango.
Original poster, whilst I agree you are old enough to make your own decisions, I think you'll agree that executing this particular decision in daddy's house was a bad idea, and that he probably sees it as disrespect.He deserves an apology.
Just sorry dude, I'm sure he won't shoot.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (24 July 2010):
 He doesn't need an apology, at least just from you, as a. neither of you have actually done anything wrong, and b. it takes two to tango, and I don't get the impression that she made much effort in stopping you from going down on her! Secondly, does she know just how overprotective her Dad is being? Maybe she thinks this is normal parental behaviour and she needs to learn that it isn't.
Sadly, when you are under his roof, you have to abide by his rules as long as he is there. Maybe your girlfriend should go round your house more often.
If your girlfriend loves you, she will stick by you. As your relationship progresses and she turns 18, you will become adults, and her Dad will no longer have authority over you as long as you are not in his house.
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (24 July 2010):
 She needs to realize that he deserves no apology. The only thing I would try to do to ease his mind is explain how much you care for his daughter. If he doesn't understand after that he doesn't deserve anything else. She is the one who needs to love you and she's the only one you have to care about. It's a privaledge of the parents to be treated as people close to you. Now I'm not encouraging being disrespectful behavior but you two are both old enough to make your own choices and he needs to understand that. I hope she is will to stand up for you because I see future problems if she won't.
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A
female
reader, Over..worried. +, writes (24 July 2010):
 I believe you should go and try tell him that you are sorry for doing something he does not approve of under his roof. Do this for your girlfriend. Even though I do think you should be saying sorry to him, or should this girl be mad at you. The father is probably upset because he does not want to believe that his daughter actually does that stuff.
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A
male
reader, Starmonster888 +, writes (24 July 2010):
I'm pretty sure there's no way one can say ''sorry I ate you daughter'' without provoking a punch, but you're gonna have to man up and try. You need to show your girlfriend that you are able to accept responsibility and step when required. Also, you need to show her that you trust her...even if she is requesting you risk you life.
Try saying something to the effect of " Sir, sorry I went down your basement and daughter"
Second thought, don't say that. Just make an apology for GENERAL disrespect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): how about writing a letter - that way you do as your girlfriend wishes without risking sure death with a shot gun. Just a thought, hope all goes well and he may just be finding it hard to accept his daughter is maturing in more ways that he'd like ... be patience, he may come around.
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