A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My friend is gay and we have had intercourse in the past with no problems (I am Bi). But the last time we had sex he cried afterwards and said he no longer wanted to be gay. Since then he has shut me out of his life and I no longer get to see him. What should I do, because I really like him? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (30 June 2010):
 You need to followup with your friend... and as followtheblackrabbit has stated... be a FRIEND first... and a lover later. He needs your support to get through whatever it is that is causing this issue.
A
male
reader, groovymoving  +, writes (27 June 2010):
I'm assuming the same thing pancakes rule and some other of the answerers already pointed out.Chances are, he might have realized he wasn't gay and it may confuse him if he was already completely accustomed to his sexuality. It's the same as when someone who has seen him- or herself to be straight for their entire life suddenly realises they're actually either gay or bi.It might also be that your friend has become a target of bullying (or if he's been bullied the whole time, he may have reached the critical point) and cannot handle the situation (any longer).Fact is, one cannot change their sexuality and your friend is no exception. As said, it may turn out he isn't gay in the first place, but I do believe it's more likely that someone is giving him a hard time over his sexuality.What you can do is being there for him. If he won't talk to you, then make him. Tell him you are not willing to lose the friendship and tell him that he can always lean on you.Once you get over that barrier, simply be there for him. But whatever you do, don't forget that one's sexuality cannot be changed and it's best for him if he accepted himself the way he was.Good luck and keep us informed!
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (27 June 2010):
 GIve him some time, hon. It sounds like he's having a rough time and may be feeling horribly because his sexual orientation is stressing his life out. Being gay, he might be experiencing a lot of negativity from family and friends. So, tell him that you're here for him if he ever wants to talk (and mean it). If you really care for him, be a friend first and a lover later. Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (27 June 2010):
 you are very young and at your age you experience a lot of changes. Maybe your friend thought he was gay and he isn't really, or maybe he wasn't ready for sex and the experience was too much for him.
Whatever is going on with him, just give him his space to mull things over. Let him know that you'll be there for him if he ever needs somebody to talk to and just be patient.
good luck
xx
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A
female
reader, amfit15  +, writes (27 June 2010):
well surely it depends on why he doesnt want to be gay is it that he doesnt like guys and is straight in which case theres nothing you can do or is it he just doesnt want to be gay with the way people think bout you and stuff if it that try to be there for him tell him u like him and want to be there for him. if he wont talk to u then maybe its something he just needs to sort out by himself i dont no hope that helped
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): Ok, here's the deal. Both of you had sex in the pass and i assume that it's more than onces,which means both of you are close enought to share the problem his facing. You should talk to him, ask him why is he "no longer want to be gay". Is there any issues that let him changes his mind? such as pressure from his familly, being target from friends etc.
I do not understand why he's avoiding you, and might as well related to you. And it's seem that you guys are having more intimate relationship than emotional attachment. Maybe he's looking for a relationship more than just sex. Who knows? Talk to him and you get the answer.
Best Luck.
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