A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What would you do if you were working away in a job for the past six months.. had the gut instinct that all the administrators and other women in the company were deliberately setting out to make you look incompetent.. (because their friend missed out on YOUR job) and suddenly had your worst suspicions confirmed?This happened to me last week. The job doesn't utilise the skills I gained while studying my degree last year.. and I was led to believe it would be much more challenging than what it actually turned out to be. I even worked the weekend there just to try and stay on top of my workload, but it seems no matter how hard I work, I can never make a DENT in the backlog.. as I'm the office goafer and EVERYTHING gets dumped on me. I'm one of those really nice people with a gentle temperament. If someone cuts me down, I naturally stand there and take it.. THEN go home and beat myself up about why I didn't handle the situation at the time and be assertive. I know that assertiveness is something everyone has to learn to survive in the world, but I believe some people just aren't built to be hard-skinned bitches.. and being in an environment like I'm currently in will eventually destroy me.The fact is, I really like the person I am.. I'm good to people, I'm an honest person with a positive attitude and a hard worker. I hate being yelled at and spoken to like I'm 6 years old.. yet I don't want these women to feel that they can push me out of my job.What would you do in this situation? I'm afraid if I stay, I'll just drown there and lose all my confidence. It's tough being trapped with a bunch of people who regularly email your boss with little catty remarks about you.. and just basically WAIT for you to forget something or make a mistake (which in that high stress situation you're much more proned to doing)... Then when it happens I ask myself whether they're right about me.. and I realise how much damage this is doing to my character :(Please help me decide what the best thing is to do. Thinking about the big picture, I'd say the best thing to do is for me to leave when I find something better.. there's no pay review for two years in this job.. I get lumbered with all the crap work, I have no respect and I can't trust anybody.I took some time off last week to have an operation and I came back to a bunch of catty emails that were sent to my boss. Even while I'm away they don't stop. It's just disgusting.Is leaving this just running away and quitting.. is it letting them win? Do I fight to make this work for me? Thanks in advance
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male
reader, seneca  +, writes (27 June 2010):
Forget going home and whipping yourself.
If you are as good at your job as you say you are,
a) sit down and write yourself a plan for GETTING another job. Not thinking about it, or grabbing one when it comes along, but GETTING one;
b) carry out your plan with all the energy you are at present putting in to moaning about your present job;
c) review it every weekend, check your progress honestly and modify your strategy as needed to get results.
I know it's not easy these days, but if you just sit there with steam coming out of every orifice, NOTHING will happen except that you will get more and more miserable.
Go, girl, show 'em what you are made of. Good luck.
A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (27 June 2010):
 If there's no opportunity for real advancement, your skills aren't being utilized AND you're working in a toxic environment, I don't see any reason for you to stay there. These people have it in for you and you're in a no-win situation, so there's no need to waste your energy trying to make things work. Start looking for other work. In the meantime, you have to start beating them at their own game. When they send catty emails to your boss, respond to them and defend your work; remaining quiet is almost like acknowledging that you are incompetent. Don't complain about the amount of work you're given, just be sure to highlight all that you've accomplished that day (or week) and remind them that in the grand scheme of things, forgetting to do something small is really inconsequential. Also point out in your email that they are free to come talk to you personally if they have a question about your work or catch a mistake you've made--there is no need to escalate matters that could be resolved quickly and efficiently through teamwork and open communication. Please be careful about working over the weekend; it makes you appear inefficient and unable to prioritize your work during the week. If these women are not your supervisors, politely decline any tasks they delegate to you that are not related to your job. When they complain, explain that getting through the backlog is your priority at the moment and you will gladly assist with the gopher jobs once everything is caught up--it's hard to argue with that logic. If you don't have the option of declining new assignments, ask what you should prioritize (Do you want me to do A or B first?), or if there is something you can delegate to someone else. This way, they can't complain about you not completing your other tasks. Keep your spirits up! Don't let these people wear you down and don't let them shake you. Keep smiling even if you don't feel like it and remain your pleasant self. That'll drive 'em crazy. :-)
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A
female
reader, Chickb +, writes (27 June 2010):
Aww hun, you are a good person & actually remind me a bit of myself. I need to stand up& put my foot down but it's hard! I agree with the previous poster saying you should contact authority- it IS a form of bullying which no one should tolerate!!
U evidently work with a nasty crowd but remember this- Karma! 2 years ago the office where I worked became unbearable thanks to 2 individuals& we had no manager at the time so higher management were notified& the 2 women got fired!
Don't quit but do report it!
Good luck& private message me if you want to talk further
x
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (27 June 2010):
 Contact a higher authority and explain how you are being victimised and bullied. Bullying in the workplace is illegal and your colleugues can be punished for this. Speak to your boss/manager, or the person who is in charge of them, as this is not to be tolerated. You could ask to move departments. You have a degree which is probably more than they've got, so if you get a better paid, more rewarding and enjoyable job with friendly collegues, you'll be the one winning, not them =]
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