A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am a young lad an iv always believed i am straight ive slept with quite a few girls an never really questioned my sexuality until the last year or so. it started when i was told by a friend about his girlfriend slipping a finger up his bum during foreplay an i got curios so i tried it myself an really enjoyed it an still do it from time to time.so then i started wondering could i be gay because i enjoy it so i tried watching gay porn and ladyboy and found it very arrousing an still watch it as well as strait porn. i never really found men attractive i just liked watching them have sex but recntly i have started lookin out for good looking men and lookin on internet sites for gay men and think it would be a good experience and would clear this problem if i was to have a sexual experience with a man.what do u think am i gay or is it more of a fetish?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2013): One thing I can tell you this:You aren't gay (unless you're not telling us something), you're more bi-curious.First off:When it comes to the human mind, sex is sex. Whenever you think about and kind of sex you get jacked up. So when you're thinking of any type of porn you find the sex part of it attractive, not the man part of it attractive.Second:It's not a fetish. It's just something you in your own preference likes to do/enjoys the feeling. I'm sure not all gay men enjoy having a dick up their butt just as any other straight man would, but if some enjoy it there are bound to be straight men.A fetish is what gets you more sexually aroused, so lets say you have a body hair fetish and enjoy looking at hairy men. You're attracted to the hair, but not the men. You'd enjoy being one of those hairy men having sex- and maybe be sexually aroused when having sex WITH those men.But of course take the hair away- poof. No sexual arouse. No reason to have sex with the men.Hope this helped!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 April 2011):
 you could be bisexual or you could be like millions of straight men who liked their bums stimulated.
just because you like your butt played with or like watching gay porn does not make you gay or even bisexual...
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A
female
reader, Cupid_or_Stupid +, writes (21 April 2011):
 I think the better question would be Are you gay or curious?As fetish isn't really the right way to look at this. Having a fetish for gay sex is practically saying you are gay or bisexual.For the time being I would say you are merely curious. You discovered and enjoyed stimulating your anus which is perfectly normal as men and women both have nerves inside their anuses which, when stimulated cause sexual arousal. Meaning you enjoy it doesn't particularly make you gay but just means you are maybe more sensitive to this area. I think upon your discovery this has made you more open to things such as gay sex and anal stimulation meaning you are finding it more comfortable to watch gay porn etc. Again, this doesn't particularly make you gay. It could just be that you are curious. Another thing to remember is that it's not just a case of being gay or straight you could quite possibly be bisexual, meaning you are sexually attracted to both men and women if you say you have slept with and been attracted to women in the past. If you feel you would like to gain sexual experience with another man then by all means experimenting would be healthy for you. It might give you a better idea of where you stand in terms of your sexuality. It could be that you don't find it as pleasureable as you thought you might've and this might cure your curiousity. Or it could be that you enjoy it and realise you are possibly bisexual/gay.It never hurts to experiment! So good luck!Hope this helped! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2011): just simply liking a finger in that particular location doesn't make you gay. it's just something you enjoy. some lesbians really enjoy penetration. that definitely doesn't make them straight. i think it's the emotions that come along with these things that defines your sexuality.when you were with these women you mentioned having slept with, ask yourself: did you get really into it? did it feel right and truly pleasurable? or slightly awkward? your heart should be able to tell you your deep down true feelings. do i think your average straight man is turned on by watching gay male porn? probably not. you seem to be slightly confused. i think you have the right idea by wanting to experience being with a man in order figure out what you genuinely prefer. there's nothing wrong with that. just make sure the guy you're with knows what the deal is. you don't want to hurt anyone or get hurt yourself. ya know? best of luck.
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A
female
reader, FaddedDay  +, writes (21 April 2011):
 It is neither. You're probably bisexual, meaning that you find both men and women sexually appealing. Relax and enjoy the ride. Maybe your significant other will turn out to be male, or maybe after some experimenting you'll find that you like women better and start looking for a female significant other again. Whatever happens, you'll still benefit from the experience.
Best of luck :)
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