A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this question is primarily for guys. I have a pretty good body, slim, and I'm not self conscious about my body when I'm clothed. The thing is that I have a weird form of acne that takes literally years to heal and because of it I have little scars, dark spots and bumps all over my stomach, butt and thighs. I'm really self-conscious about it and as a result, I'm only comfortable with a guy in the dark and if he's had a few drinks so he won't notice. The bumps aren't huge, and they aren't open sores but I'm convinced a guy would be disgusted never call me or make fun of me to his friends or something. How important is bump-free skin? Do guys talk about that stuff with eachother? thank you for any help.
View related questions:
acne Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): Im a guy and my girlfriend has always had mild-moderate case of back acne its really not terrible. I only say moderate because I may have 1 Or 2 on my back once in a while. It really doesnt bother me at all because I love her. Her face is always clear tho. I would never refuse her a back rub Or anything because of it, been on and off with her for the past 4 years
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2016): I feel ya. I have foliculitus as one women also commented she has. And it makes u self conscious about your body. I have never had someone be grossed out by it or anything. I would tell you I don't care what flaws a woman has .I am more interested in there personality and how they treat me. I hope you find love and someone who takes u as u are.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emzy1591  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 I'm not a guy but i do have/ did have really bad acne on my face and haven't really had a boyfriend.
Be thankful that if you did have a really bad outbreak that u didnt want people to see you can cover it up and deal with it without anyone knowing you have it.
My Boyfriend at the moment suffered from Acne so he knows what im going through and couldn't care less.
Just find a guy who loves you for the person you are and not because you have a nice body etc. That kind of guy is shallow and wont get anywhere. There are so many guys out there who wouldnt care less if you were fat/thin, flawless or spotty etc so i dont think you will have any problems Good luck! x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): My ex girlfriend had this problem on her face and back. I can't say it bothered me. To me she was beautiful in every way, a few spots (and big ones at that) didn't change how I felt about the way she looked. To me she was gorgeous.
All guys are different of course, but to answer your questions: Bump-free skin means nothing, or atleast, should mean nothing. And for the record, this is the first time I've ever told anybody else about her spots... and that's while I'm remaining anon! :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): Yes, guys would talk about this sort of thing to their mates, but not if they were in totally comitted relationships. One night stands might be a different matter though, so before you climb into bed with a guy, make sure it's because you are both in love with each other and for no other reason.
It's what's inside that matters, and this acne is unlikely to make the slightest bit of difference to how you're viewed by a committed partner who is totally smitten by you.
Phil
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): Sorry. Not a Guy.
Me too. I've been diagnosed with foliculitis and have never healed completely. This is very contagious. Don't get tempted and pick them because you are encouraging the infection. Folliculitis is a deep infection of the follicles of the hair.
For the first time in my life I've stopped picking on them for a month now-because I learned it could be a form of obssesive compulsive disorder called trichotilloma-and I've started healing sloooowly but my skin looks better each time. Don't get dissapointed b/c when the ones you have now start healing new ones will develop and come up but that doesn't mean you are not healing those are infected follicles you had already when you decided to stop picking on them. Use the solution Iodine-Povidone to cleanse your skin. You can find it in any drug store. Buy the generic one (cheapest) they are all the same. It's a dark brown liquid that will sterilize your skin. Maintain your skin dry. If you also get prickly heat like I do Use the medicated powder Gold Bond or Caldesene Every Day.
Last time I went to my dermatologist he told me that folliculitis will start healing only when skin is sterilized. You should also buy 100% cocoa butter and apply it EVERY SINGLE day and you'll start to see the difference in the dark spots of your skin. They'll eventually fade. Remember skin renovates itself each 21 days. You have to be patient.
P.S. My ex boyfriend didn't care about my body acne. He did asked me but never saw him grossed out about him and he was the kind that cared a lot about appearance. I guess it was b/c I used to keep neat on the other areas I could control like my exterior.
...............................
A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (16 October 2007):
 Im a guy and i say find a guy that doesnt care about it....obviously if you exude confidence while clothed...hes going to fall for you. If you think things will start getting sexual in the near future, then its time to casually slip in the fact that you have scars or whatever and tell him your somewhat self conscious about it...dont wait till your naked for him to find out because if he is a jackass...he will have sex with you and then start to forget about you. If when you tell him your story, he says "wow thats cool but i like you for you and that doesnt matter to me" then get naked with him.
Seriously...you have to find a nice guy...maybe your not attracted to "nice guys" but trust me...there are guys out there who exude raw energy on the surface but inside they are nice guys...this is who you want....not some pickup artist hotshot with a flashy car....find someone with raw energy who is sensitive on the inside.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): I dated a girl years ago who had a similar problem. She had acne on her back and some on her stomach. I won't say it looked great but it wouldn't have stopped me from dating her and I wasn't less turned on by her becuase of it.
I think women who have bad acne on their face have a tougher time.
Bottom line: Don't worry about it. A guy who likes you won't care about some bumps on your stomach and butt.
...............................
A
female
reader, Yargh +, writes (16 October 2007):
 I have a similar thing going on, and I used to obsess over it. However, it seems like most guys are not that detail oriented. I once asked my boyfriend if the bumps bother him, and he didn't even know what I was talking about. If you are really worried you can go see a dermatologist, but I don't think anyone but the shallowest of men will care. And if your guy is that shallow, you probably have bigger problems!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2007): Generally if any of my guy friends fools around with a woman, we hear the details about her body, good and bad... it's immature, petty and insensitive but it's what happens when a bunch of young guys get together and chat. Nothing is off limits, including scars, acne, smells, tattoos, body hair, birth marks, breast size/shape, cellulite, etc
But I'm sure if you're in a loving relationship, your boyfriend would overlook any flaws in your body and just love you for you.
If you don't want to be judged for your body, don't sleep with guys who you don't know very well...
...............................
A
female
reader, troyssweetie  +, writes (16 October 2007):
 i'm not a guy but i just have to say don't try and hide them. i have tons of acne all over my body. even at age 29. you know what my boyfriend does? he puts the cream that i have for it all over me. every day. then he massages my feet. why? because he loves me for me and not the imperfections that i have. thats what you want. you want to be loved for you because that kind of love that is like no other. if a man dont want to be with you because of some imperfections with your skin then he doesn't deserve you in the first place.
...............................
|
