A
female
age
30-35,
*adedpearl
writes:Ok, so I've never went to see a "professional" about anything before...I have slipped into depression lately after leaving my ex boyfriend and I just felt a little pathetic so I decided to make an appointment with a licensed psychologist at my college...I don't have a support system and I needed to let all my feelings out...I first went in last week for an assessment and requested an older woman, because you know..they have life experiences and stuff like that...Well after two minutes of being in her office I burst into tears...I get very emotional when i have to talk about things that I keep bottled up...I was with her for about 40 minutes...She sat on the edge of her seat in front of me with her legs awkwardly bent and her hands in between her thighs almost as if she had to pee very badly but did not want to get up and go...I felt so awkward and uncomfortable because all she said was ..."ok" and "how does that make you feel..?" and "ok...hmm, yeah that must be tough.." and "yeah...you've been through a lot...mhmm ok." I felt like we got no where and I don't even want to go back to see her next week. How could I suggest seeing someone else without hurting her feelings? I thought I would be comfortable talking with a woman but now I don't know. I am thinking of requesting a man to speak with to get a different perspective on my situation...She seemed like she wanted to continue seeing me every week and made an appointment for next week....Also, she seemed pushy towards speaking with the psychiatrist who comes in twice a month to prescribe medication....I don't know....This was my first time and maybe I should just give it more time but I don't see myself opening up to her...I just need some genuine, non biased advice...I don't need to hear all those "mhmm..yeah, and ok." I left her office feeling worse than when I did coming in...
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 January 2013):
 A licensed clinical psychologist CAN assess and treat mental, emotional and behavioural disorders, including depression. " Can " both in the meaning of being able to, and of being allowed to.
What they cannot ever do is to prescribe meds, for this they have to refer you to a psychiatrist.
If it is suspected that the client may have an underlying medical condition ,or chemical imbalance, that may require prescription meds.
Now, why did your psychologist asked to you to see a psychiatrist ? not because she does not know what to do with you ( hopefully ! ) or because she thinks you are kookoo.
Probably : a ) either she assessed your disturbances not as only reactive ( i.e. originated by the recent break up ) , but with a suspect biochemical cause or b) to be able to set up any kind of useful intervention with you in the immediate future.
It's a myth, that once they start you on medications, then they " want " to keep you hooked for life.
In fact, quite often meds are used in the first feww weeks to bring you back to at least minimally functional- or functional in therapy.
Therapy implies that you'd be somewhat coherent, somewhat able to organize and express your thoughts and feelings, and to listen and understand what you may be told.
Now, sudden cryng jags like you had during your consultation, IF accompanied by other symptoms you may have described ( sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, loss of concentrations, high irritability etc. ) may indicate that you ARE actually depressed , at a level in which you are too bent out of shape to cooperate actively with your recovery.
In other words, probably all they want is to pick you up by your bootstraps so that you are able to partecipate and take an interest in your healing process. Without which, no therapy can do much.
- As for Befrienders and Samaritans,they are great, I think the world of them, heck I should know, I used to be in charge of training new volunteers for one of these organizazions .
They provide an excellent,discreet, free form of support. But, that's what it is : support. It does not substitute therapy, it does not treat or heal depression , and it's not supposed to. It is an useful tool at your disposal to speed up your recovery. But if you are or will be diagnosed with clinical depression, they won't substitute the professional, regular way : psychologist and / or psychiatrist.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (18 January 2013):
 So all you have seen so far is a psychologist who perhaps you did not connect with?
You may have depression. Perhaps the psychologist you saw thought she needed a second opinion.
But as you have not yet seen any more than a licensed psychologist for your depression I think it would be OK to see a Medical Doctor and see if the Medical Doctor thinks your depression is serious enough to see a specialist doctor like a psychiatrist.
It is a Good idea to get a second opinion. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need - be it from the psychologist you saw or a medical doctor or whoever the medical doctor refers you too.
or you can try talking direct to a FREE site like befrienders.org or samaritans.org.
One visit to one psychologist does not mean that you have more than depression until a doctor has assessed you.
Depression is a very common complaint and millions get good support to help them cope with it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 January 2013):
 oh dear... she needed to explain it to you
psychiatrists prescribe medications and may do intensive therapy for folks who have major disorders like Dissassociative disorders (what some folks call multiple personalties) or the like. but Psychologists and Social Workers (sometimes called LCSW) are the ones that do the therapy for most folks and use the psych to just prescribe the meds.
Psychiatrists have medical degrees in addition to all the psychological training and have been through intensive psychotherapy themselves as part of their training.
they can do testing or some testing can be done by psychologists as well.
A therapist is probably a LCSW.
Therapy is NOT easy. It's NOT fun. IT's hard work.
you don't go in and lay down your problems and wait for the answer.
think of your therapist as your spirit guide....they are there to help facilitate your thinking and help YOU figure out what's bothering you.
I have been in therapy on and off since I was 9
I have a degree in psychology.
IF you did not feel comfortable with the therapist you saw it may be that you did not like her style but what she said and did is pretty much what all therapists are going to say and do... guide you to talk about it and think about it.
I also think if you are struggling with depression that a short bout of anti-depressants to help you get back on track cant' hurt.... they are not always needed forever... sometimes 6 months is enough to help you reset your own seratonin production. just go on and off them under doctor supervision.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (16 January 2013):
Honey, if you want practical advice," do this do that" , - you are better off writing to Dear Cupid, because therapy does not work this way and it is not supposed too. Although there are different therapy schools and types and some are quite more interactive than others ( if you'd see a Freudian analyst, ... you would not see him, actually, because he would be sitting behind you ) , it still would be unprofessional and unethical telling you " Oh absolutely, you must dump that jerk " or " You are not cut out for Medicine school, try Law ". The idea is for you to unravel your own knots, and to provide you with the emotional/ cognitive / mental tools to come up with your own solutions.
The lady was practicing what is called " active listening " ,meaning she is giving you a safe space within which you can talk, vent, express yourself without having to be judged / directed / corrected / objected to. Her " uhm " and " oh,uh " mean : "I am here for you. I am listening. Don't worry about me,what I may think of you , if I agree or disagree, - just speak your truth ". Of course the approach may vary in future and become a bit more hands on, but in the very first session, while she is trying to evaluate i.e. to find out what is it that really bugs you and why and how serious it is , active listening is sort of a must, for all she knows a wrong word can push you to the deep end and make you suicidal .
Also, you are expecting miracles, how can you say it worked or not after one 40 minutes session ? With depression it may take a few months to see the first improvements, and even if nowadays the focus is on short-term therapy- short term generally means 15-20 sessions ( as opposed to the various YEARS of traditional psychoanalitic therapy ).
It's like if you had to lose a certain amount of weight, you would not expect to be slim after the first session with your personal trainer, would you ?.
As for " feeling worse " or " feeling better ", therapy is hard work, OP, it's not fun. Well, it may be at times, but there also may be many uncomfortable, painful, dispiriting moments in it. The paragon , in this case, could be with the orthodontist- at the end , you feel great, and happy for your redesigned wonderful new smile. But to get there, it was not all fun and games.
Therapy is not Dear Cupid or Dear Abby, they don't tell you what they'd do in your shoes , they teach you to find out what you really want and can do.
As for medications and being pushy, psychologists generally are far than trigger happy with medications, in genral it's the opposite, they think they can cure last stage cancer with talk therapy :). If she wanted to refer you to a psychiatrist for prescriptions, I guess she honestly thought that in your case a combined approach meds plus talk therapy is indicated, as it is for certain forms of depression.
But of course it is ultimately only up to you to decide if you want to try a farmaceutical support or not.
As for changing professional, well, sure you can, if you have an instant skin feeling of mistrust and dislike, you would not work well WITH her. You can definitely ask to be referred to someone else, she won't feel bad, her feelings won't be hurt, and if they were a) she is not a good professional ! b) it's not skin off your nose anyway, you need to take care of your wellbeing, not of that of your therapist ! Only, if you are confused about what to expect and in how much time,...I think you'll be equally disappointed by the next one too, either male or female .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): Things don't just improve in one session. That's why they may put you on a 6week program with things like this. (6weeks, example).
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 January 2013):
It is early days, though you do need to recognise that Depression is a really serious illness. One you must not ignore.
If you want to try additional therapy that might make a real difference then consider Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
It is very commonly used by professionals in hospitals in Europe and England.
If the psychologist is pushing for drug therapy first, then ask her if, instead, she has any contacts to help you locate a trained affordable Cognitive Behavioural Therapist .
Here are some links to help explain what is CBT.
Don't sign up for any expensive options.
It should not be expensive therapy and is normally delivered by an empathic counsellor who has completely CBT training. And it really can help with depression.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness-based_cognitive_therapy
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm
And never never be afraid to ask for another psychologist or another professional. Your health comes first. You need to be able to trust any Doctor and any therapist treating you. That said, it may take more than one consultation with a psychologist before you start to relax enough to open up. But this phychologist just did not make you feel comfortable at the start. Maybe you were too stressed. or maybe she was not right for you. Only you will know what is right for you.
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A
female
reader, Dayzy  +, writes (16 January 2013):
If your psych isn't emotionally stable enough to handle you seeing someone else then she shouldn't be a psych. Or she can go and see one herself. I'm sure she'll be fine. Stop worrying about her and look after yourself.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 January 2013):
 I dont think you quite understand what psychiatrists do, and if you are expecting someone to give you the answer to all your problems that is never going to happen.
The whole point of a psychiatrist is to get the patient (i.e. you) to talk, to open up about their feelings and problems, and for the psychiatrist to LISTEN. They want you to open up, share your feelings and by doing that you will learn how to cope with your feelings by yourself, and you will ultimately answer your own questions.
All psychiatrists are pretty much going to be the same as this woman you have met, they will listen, go 'ok', 'yeah', and ask 'how does that make you feel' quite a lot. No male or female is going to be much different, they all want you to get to the root of your problems yourself, they are just there to listen and occasionally push you in a certain direction (that is when they ask 'how does that make you feel').
However I dont like the fact she is pushing you to seek medication, too many doctors think medication is the answer to everything and will try and get you on tablets without actually bothering to talk through your issues. As a psychiatrist she shouldnt want you to be on medication right away, she should want to listen some more and after a few weeks then take a view about medication.
So on that basis yes asking for another psychiatrist might be a good idea. If you are just feeling a bit depressed about the breakdown of a relationship that is not the same as being long term, clinically depressed, and if the depression has simply been caused because of the breakdown of a relationship then talking is going to be the best cure, I very much doubt you have a long term chemical imbalance in your brain just because of your ex boyfriend!
You wont hurt her feelings by not seeing her again, this is her job, she is not your friend and isnt going to care if you dont want to talk to her again. This kind of thing will happen all the time, many patients will swap psychiatrists until they find someone they feel comfortable with - she will be more than used to it.
I would rethink what you are trying to achieve with therapy, if you are looking for answers and solutions from someone else then that is not going to happen - they will simply listen and allow you to talk it through until you reach a conclusion yourself. And if you do want to continue, then by all means ask for someone else because finding someone who you feel comfortable talking to is the main thing.
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