A
female
age
30-35,
*.me
writes:Hi, I'm currently in first relashionship and i feel that my boyfriend doesn't care much about me. Lately or each time he starts to talk about the future he allways excludes me, like if he somehow knows we won't last or doesnt wants to. He says stuff like: " well for our future relanshionships or when I'm with the woman that has my children... bla bla bla"... I know he is not saying it on purpose but it just hurts. I mean I can't bare the idea of losing him, he is my first everything, but i feel that he doesn't care. The otherday he mention an idea of doing a threesome (his fantasy), i told him that i could be willing to do it (only to make that fantasy true) but i don't think i can share you with anothergirl, i don't feel confortable. Later i told him, (to see how he reacts) that what if we did it with 2 men and 1 girl? He totally oposed to it. he said:"hell no, just go with him and fuck, I not joining with another man." I felt so sad, because it's like he doesn't care, i was actually hoping for a reply like "he couldnt share me or something like that". Anyway it really breaks me to tears. How can i let him know? And talk to him without hurting him or something? And is this normal (i mean to any guy out there that is not the jelaous type like my boyfriend? Thanks and sorry for my english.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2013): I feel your pain, i am currently in my first relationship too. Sometimes when I talk with my bf, he will start saying your future husband is going to be angry at you for always teasing him. When I talk with my guy friends, he doesnt seem jealous at all, I feel like he doesn't even care at all. However, my friend told me its possible that he is jealous but he doesn't want u to see the jealous side of him so thats why he make it seems that he dont care about u.
A
male
reader, chu  +, writes (17 January 2013):
A similar situation has hit me recently, only I'm the jerk who is apathetic. She put up with my crap for a long time. Things turned long-distance cuz of my job and I could not stop being a jerk. I pushed her away, time and time again, I don't know why - unconscious self-abuse? Now she's suddenly engaged and gone forever, and I'm surprised. I don't know why I'm such an idiot or so unappreciative. Maybe she was too much my fantasy-girl, and not enough my reality girl. It was only when I lost her for good that I woke up in reality, and realized what I lost. I loved her, I know now, but I'm an idiot and she's gone. If this is happening to you, let your jerk partner taste the idea of "never" with you, and it might wake them up like it did me. I just hope I can treat the next one better.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 January 2013):
 oh yes he very much IS saying it on purpose.
He's making it very very clear to you that he does not see you as a lifetime partner. You are MISS DO FOR NOW till he finds someeone else.
this is not a bad thing if that's what you want but if you think you are going to be with him forever.
Jealousy is not about love. Jealousy is about insecurity. clearly he is not insecure about your relationship. stop trying to make him jealous as it will just backfire on you.
and accept that he's NOT as into you as you are into him.
I'm sorry.
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A
female
reader, Dayzy  +, writes (16 January 2013):
This guy is not being nice to you at all. He does know what he is saying when he talks about the woman he ends up with. It may be his way of letting you know he doesn't see a future with you. Either way it's nasty. You DON'T want a jealous boyfriend I promisee you. But neither should you accept one that is callous with your feelings. If he is this horrible to you now, and you ended up with him, as a husband or partner belive me he would be a lot worse. Ask every woman you know if her husband was nicer to her before they maried and they 99-100% will say YES. Get away from this jerk and don't settle for anyone who isn't kind to all and loving to you.
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