A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend got into my facebook account and saw messages off other guys. I didn't reply to them but I also didn't tell them to go away or delete the people off my friends list. A few weeks after tha he asked to c my phone but my inbox and outbox were empty because it had gotten full so he thought I was cheating. He asked to look at my facebook messages and there were half conversations where I'd deleted previous messages. Well I guess that does look suspicious but I've never cheated on him, I haven't really looked at another man. I don't need to cos I really fancy him we have a great sex life. He doesn't believe me and every single morning on my way to work he rings me, he rings me during work, he works for the council and I see him drving past my shop. If the signal is bad and he gets answer phone he goes balistic and thinks I'm talking to someone else. If my battery dies or if I have a day off and he can't get hold of me he goes nuts. I told him that I don't want a relationship if he carries on doing it but when I say that he says I'm not an understanding person and cos he's been cheated on and where I deleted stuff he thinks I should put up with it and he's allowed to do it. Would anyone put up with this? Do you think he's right? I deleted the stuff on facebook because it kinda disgusted me what these people had said, it just makes me look like I'm hiding stuff but I'm not.
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female
reader, demeplev  +, writes (10 August 2012):
 I agree with everyone here but I would like to add.... anyone this controlling and jealous..may be hiding his own secrets and projecting..hmmm just a thought either way..dump him controlling men can sometimes become even more abusive..be careful. Good luck keep us posted.
Peace and love.
A
female
reader, Jillh +, writes (10 August 2012):
As long as you believe you are being honest. You have to live with you. You have to weigh your pros and cons on loosing him. Your honesty vs his insecurities. We all have our breaking point. The one being drilled and the one doing the drilling. Its an exhausting relationship for both to deal with.
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A
female
reader, Jillh +, writes (10 August 2012):
If you know without a doubt, you are being faithful and honest. You can sleep with ease at night. You have to weigh the pros and cons on your worth and the worth of your relationship... Their is only so much each individual can take in any relationship. The pusher and the one being pushed. I am in the same situation, I am the pusher. But unlike your story. I know without a doubt my Husband has lied to me on different situations. We are in a new marriage. Nine mos later, I am finding out he has lied to me again. It took me three mos to get the truth out of him on his past charge of sex with his step-daughter. He has hurt me greatly and I am now at a point in my life. I am no longer sure, I want this marriage any longer.
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A
female
reader, Jillh +, writes (10 August 2012):
As long as you believe you are being honest. You have to live with you. You have to weigh your pros and cons on loosing him. Your honesty vs his insecurities. We all have our breaking point. The one being drilled and the one doing the drilling. Its an exhausting relationship for both to deal with.
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A
female
reader, Bulka +, writes (9 August 2012):
I believe he is not right because you have never replied and you have deleted people he didn`t like so he should understand he is the only one. Facebook is bad network when you are in relationship just makes problems. Show him how much you love him and that you are not cheating on him. Believe me that will work..
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 August 2012):
 WHY??????? .... do you believe that you must ANSWER to this guy????? WHO is he, ..... to you???? Certainly, NOT YOUR FATHER!!!!!
I suggest that you recognize, now, that he is a jealous and controlling sort... and that your life will be better without him.... so excise him (from your life) now.... and never look back...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 August 2012):
 You are being punished for the sins of others. I don't think he's right.
He sounds controlling, insecure and immature.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (9 August 2012):
 If you want to save your relationship, keep FB for strictly close family and friends and block everything from casual passing people and chancers.
You may be ignoring the messages, but if they couldn't message you in the first place...problem solved.
We have seen a changing trend on Dear Cupid and the message is FACEBOOK destroys more relationships than it makes...it's a jealousy/cheating/revenge machine and with one click....all yout troubles with it can be gone.
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A
male
reader, Becker0109 +, writes (9 August 2012):
He has control issues and abandon problems. Jealousy is an evil problem with him. Put a stop to it or he'll drive you away. Get off Facebook as it's a huge security problem. See your pictures you post on Facebook? There are also on the internet as Facebook can use them any way they want.
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