A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've recently dumped my Ex boyfriend. I was with him for 3 months and come to relise he's a bit of a bully and that something I don't want. He's been spreading rumers that he's fin*gered me. Everyone is pretty shocked and a lot of people have lost respect for me. He's been spreading other sexual rumers too and they make me feel highly uncomftable. Is there anything I can do apart from Ignoring him?. I just want something done about it quickly they are awful.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): He obviously has rejection issues and right about now he's realizing how much better you are than him. He needs to share extremely interesting and taboo things with other people to show how "cool" or proud of himself he is. Obviously you hurt his pride by leaving him (i think its good for him, so good job =P) so he needs to tell stories to make himself feel better.
A
female
reader, bootyboot  +, writes (22 March 2011):
wait, let me get this straight... you're in between 18 and 21 years old, and you're afraid people have lost respect for you because your ex boyfriend allegedly fingered you? huh? are you living in the 1950's? seriously, anyone who judges you needs to get a life. people who look down on sexually active people are usually not getting any.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): Tell everyone that he had to resort to using his hand as he has a micro penis and couldn't get an erection. Show pity on him, and tell them that he's really embarrassed and it and acting out as a result.
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (22 March 2011):
 I like CaringGuy's first idea. But, I would confront your ex first. Ask him to stop spreading rumors. If he continues, tell people about his "rash and the puss". I know it seems childish, but if you can't beat em join em!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 March 2011):
 Well, one thing you can be relieved about is that this guy just totally affirmed and validated why you left him. You'll never have that whole "should I have left him" pining for him. He's burned the bridges. There's not any going back, and you're totally free of him.
As for the sexual rumors. So what if he fingered you?? So what if he's out there blabbing about what the two of you did these past three months? You didn't cheat on him. You didn't do anything wrong.
I would be surprised if people have lost respect for you. It's more likely that they'll see this guy for what he is - a nasty, blabbing, douchebag who treats women disgustingly. Trust me, do you think any other woman will want to date him if they see that this is how he treats his exes? I highly doubt it.
Give him no power. If you start hearing rumors, just tell the rumor-bearer that you made a good decision to leave him, and good luck to the next girl who has the misfortune to be stupid enough to date him.
He is the one losing respect, not you. So you did sexual things with him. I know it's embarrassing, but you have to act unpurturbed. He's feeding off of your discomfort and embarrassment. He's most likely embellishing these stories now to try and draw more blood.
You do not have to defend yourself. I like CaringGuy's line of thinking. If he'd been good, loving, and caring, why did he lose you? Just shrug him off. If he loses the pleasure of hurting you, it will no longer have any effect, and he'll start to look like the vindictive loser he is. Just rely on your friends and family - the ones who have your back no matter what.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 March 2011):
There's really very little you can do I'm afraid:
1 - Tell everyone that you never touched him because he had a rash on his penis and puss and would't see a doctor about it.
2 - Ignore him.
3 - You could also try looking into whether there's any way you could get a court order, or sue him for defamation or something. Might be worth a shot.
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