A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a LDR with my boyfriend for almost a year. I really love him and the time we spend together, our relationship just feels right to me. My only concern right now is religion, if it even is a concern. I'm Christian and he is Muslim. I'd like to consider myself to be an open person, but my parents are not. They want me to marry someone who is in the same culture and religion as me, and while my boyfriend is of the same culture, his religion isn't. Other than my family's approval which I most likely won't get, I'm also concerned about us having children. In his religion, it is customary that the children take after their father's religion. We discussed this at the beginning of our relationship, and I said I was okay with it, but now I'm starting to wonder. I feel as though I'd be the odd one out, being the only non-Muslim in the family. Even though I'm not very religious, I'm not willing to convert. He's not very religious either, but there are a select few practices that he does follow, the most important being that his children one day be Muslim. He's said that he is open to me celebrating holidays like Christmas and Easter or taking the children to church, but when it comes down to it, the children will be Muslim and I'm not sure how I feel about that or how my family would react to it. I know they won't be happy, and will most likely try to separate us but I love him and in my eyes, he's perfect in every way except for that, but I feel like it wouldn't be an issue if it weren't for my family. Any advice would be appreciated, especially from anyone w/experience in this sort of situation.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): i have the same crisis but even way worse i am an egyptian mouslim girl who is madly in love was a christian egyptian charming guy we are only friends close friends but i do nothing but thinking of him i really want him. in my religion i can't marry him also in our country's law it is forbidden further more my parents would kill me if they knew about it but still i love you "T"
A
female
reader, sha9991  +, writes (22 March 2011):
Hi,I am writing with a case of been there done that,got the t-shirt,my first love,I was in a relationship with a British-Muslim guy for 6 years, I am a non-Christian myself, he told his family I was his friend's sister,I was young,so I just went along with it at first,but then when we had been together for years,we got engaged,I wanted to meet and tell his family and he said to me if I wanted to marry him and for his parents to except me,I would have to turn Muslim,I said I didn't want to be in any religon,which he knew,he just said that,because what I didn't know was his family had already arrange who he was to marry,years ago a arranged marriage,it's always to do with keeping money in their families. I wasted alot of years on him,he cheated on me,had a kid with another women behind my back,little does she know now,I heard from his best friend,that he had his arrange marriage,so he has kids and God knows how many wifes now! so he is a Serial cheat and always will be! I really hope this doesn't happen to you,but I learned a tough lesson,so I am with someone,who is less complicated,a non-religious guy and I am very happy now! :D
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): i know what you mean. i really like a hindu, and i think he likes me back. But when i told my mum, she started making all these comments about 'asians' and how 'they' do things differently and how they would never accept me and how their family would never accept a christian girl. I think - as i am - that you are getting ahead of yourself a bit. Google mixed religion dating, and you will see some cool blogs like gorigirl where mixed culture relationships/marriages have worked successfully - plus some really cool tips. see how it goes! x
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (22 March 2011):
 I think the biggest concern should be his family's reaction, not yours. He may be alright with your faith, but I'd be willing to bet his family would be very upset about it, and likely pressure him into leaving you. I've heard horror stories about women in LDR's with muslims; not sure if he's one of those, but it pays to look out.
Islam is also a polygamous religion, so if the LDR actually lives in a Muslim country, rather than in America, that is another thing you'll want to discuss ahead of time.
As for your own family, you need to ask whether their concerns are the kind that need to be soothed, or the kind you need to look into yourself. Ask yourself if their issues are based on real, possible problems and complications, or if they're just worrying too much. If it is something objectively real, you need to focus your energy on that problem, and not on convincing your parents it doesn't exist. Only focus on their imaginary worries once you've dealt with all the real ones.
Talk to your parents. They want you to be happy and have a good family. If they're upset about your choice, and you can't prove he's a good choice, he may not actually be a good choice.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): I would be more concerned about his family accepting their son marrying a non muslim, typically doesn't happen. Does his family know about you, meaning you've been introduced to them? Your family might be like a small speed bump in the road and his would be more like a road block to any marriage outside the muslim culture.
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