A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was talking to this guy and things got pretty hot and heavy for a while. Everything was great, then suddenly he became distant. Said he'll call and take 4 days to call me back. I took it as a hint he wasn't interested so I moved on. Then he calls back and wants to talk for hours and says he misses me. Basically i know he has some issues because his last girlfriend cheated on him, and before that he had a girlfriend that died in a car crash. My question is...i feel like he likes me when i am around him because we connect so well on many levels, but am i wasting my time with him because it feels like he is playing games with me? He says he's not..he doesn't know why he does what he does. I'm giving him all the space he wants, but i still think of him and miss him everyday. Should i move on and forget about him or be patient? I have to say i am head over heals for him. i can be myself around him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for everyone's response. it really put things into perspective. i have to esp. thank fade874. the truth hurts, but i know what you are saying is true.
i match all 15 symptoms of women loving too much.
i grew up thinking this is what you do when you love a man, now i know it's completely dysfunctional.
In a way, i'm completely broken myself. maybe that's why we connected and i'm so attracted to him. my first boyfriend passed away too..and my childhood was horrible.
i guess we are just too lost souls. i guess i have a fantasy of us finding ourselves and healing our pain together..but in reality it doesn't work that way.
he called and left a message to call him back.
i haven't ...so i'm trying to move on.
However, i can't help but wish it is him that calls everytime the phone rings. i really thought what we had was special..but maybe it was all in my head. I was delusional. now i don't trust my judgement in men at all.
i'm going to take one day at a time and hopefully time will heal me. At least i'm aware and hopefully won't repeat the same thing with the next man.
A
female
reader, sweetontweety7777 +, writes (5 September 2008):
 sounds like he has a lot of issues to work out with himself before he can add you to his picture. maybe some guilt towards the girlfriend he sadly lost in the accident, and maybe he just isn't ready or is afraid to move on. take it slow if you really are interested, if not nicely tell him. but i think this one is going to take some time and alot of soul searching on his part. be patient, but also be kind to yourself.
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A
female
reader, Shelljade41  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 First of all you have to determine if you want to have a relationship with someone who has issues from past heartaches, even if he likes you, those will interfere in your relationship. Ask yourself if you want to become some kind of psychologist or healer to him. Count his actions, not his words and if you feel it's too complicated, just move on before it gets harder for you to dettach from him.
Don't worry, someone worthwile always appears as soon as we learn to accept and love ourselves.
Blessings to you!!
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A
female
reader, happy24birthday +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Since I'm a girl, I don't understand how a guy's mind works. I have been treated similarly to this before, and it's not fun. Maybe some guys can shed some light on this for us both. I think that he is afraid of his emotions. That's good because it means he likes you too, but it's bad because instead of going with his heart he's running from his feelings. Although it's hard, I think that you should continue to give him space when he needs it, especially given his past experiences. He can't get too used to this, however, else he'll think it's the norm for this relationship. Try to be patient with him, but remember to look out for yourself as well. If it gets to the point where you feel like you've given all you can and he's still acting distant, then you have to let it go. The longer you're with someone the harder it is to leave. Sounds like it's definitely worth a chance.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 One problem here is that you don't know whether to move on, since he doesn't seem to make up his mind, or to wait "just a little more", because he might. You don't know if time is on your side or not.
I'm not sure whether talking directly and demanding an answer from him would work. He might back off, or then he might make his mind up. I think, however, that you should talk to him and ask him what it is that he wants from you.
You don't really know whether he's doing this because his ex-girlfriend cheated on him. We always try to find justification for behaviors we don't understand, but we should stick to what we truly know instead.
I wish you luck.
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A
female
reader, Serenity1 +, writes (5 September 2008):
 i think you should be patient. i respect the guy for being honest and keeping distant for whatever reason. it's good for these types of characteristics to come out early in the game so you won't be suprised later. do you know if he is involved with anyone else? don't give up on him girl he obviously has some feelings for you or he wouldnt have contacted you after the 4 days.
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