A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who says he is in love with me. We are really great friends, however, i am not sure if i am ready for a relationship. What I can't understand is that whenever I try to speak to him about some emotional hurt he has caused to me, he refrains from discussing the actual issue.Instead he starts blaming me for not being caring, etc and stops communicating with me at all, till I take an initiative to mend things. Why is he doing this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): Thanks for answering my query :) I don't like to think this way but, I have myself thought of his behaviour as immature at times. ..
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 I will second what emilysanswers has said! For sure!
Been there done that, bought the t shirt honey. Different reasons but none the less been there.
If you're not ready for a relationship for whatever reason whatsoever, and you're voicing it, its because you are adult. He on the other hand cant understand why you haven't fallen at his feet and dont think he's wonderful in every way, and likes to label you as basically insane because of it. Because he is a child. Look him up when you are ready for a relationship and see if he has learnt anything by then. If not, steer well clear. My ex was 34 and still shows no sign of ever admitting any blame for anything, and i recently found this has been going on for yrs according to his 2 previous long term exes before me.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 September 2008):
He's doing it because he is immature and has found it is easy to make you take the blame so he won't have to admit he is wrong.
He will continue like this for the rest of your life. He will never take the blame and always say it is because of you.
Do not get into a relationship with him, you will only get hurt and emotionally abused.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Shelljade41  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Communication is crucial for a good relationship. If he is not open to listen to you, let alone understand you, do you think this relationship is worthwile?
He seems to be defending himself, because he could be probably feeling guilty, but if he gives no signs of becoming open to your need, I guess you should just stay as friends? Does he communicate with you the same way while being just your friend?
Blessings!!
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