A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm in my Teens and I'm Gay. I've been thinking I'm gay for so long and I've just made the step if telling myself I am gay. My Problem is that I am not experienced at picking up guys or even how to know If the guy is gay. I have friends that are all straight and I'm not sure if I'm not supposed to be friends in case I fancy them after a bit or should I keep hanging out with them convincing myself if I do fancy them that I can't get them because they are always going to be STRAIGHT ! Please Help! I'm Desperate ! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, der_zyniker  +, writes (20 April 2010):
I agree with Just Diana that you shouldn't be trying to pick up other guys at your age. As for you worrying about developing feelings for a friend, don't worry about that until it happens. There isn't anything you can do about it and it's stupid to stop being friends with them just because you're gay. I'd only be hurting yourself. If you do develope feelings for one of your friends then my suggestion is that you sould tell them that you're gay, but don't tell them how you feel about them. I have feelings for one of my friends and told them and now they're avoiding me. If you come out to them and they are gay they will probably tell you. Maybe not immediately,but probably soon afterwards. But is they don't tell you that they are gay then don't tell them how you feel about them.
A
female
reader, Just Diana  +, writes (18 April 2010):
 Should you tell your friends they may allienate themselves from you, simply by way of needing to process what yu have shared with them. This is normal and natural. It may be a shock to them, and it may not. It may not for the reason that perhaps some of them may have already suspected you of being gay. Nonetheless, a risk either way. Not a easy decision to make either way. I also, without putting judgement accross think you are too young to be "picking up" other gay guys. I understand your hormones may be sky high and out of control, however if I may suggest a healthier release by way of masterbation. As you get older, your situation may change, and with it a sence of being confident about your being gay...which will enable you the strength to come out of the closet. Dont pre-empt things thought wise, it will just stress you out. For now just enjoy the platonic interations with your friends. Should you develop feelings, my recommendation would be to not act on it for now. `this will take self control, but in the long run save you short term pain and possible allienation. I ordinarily would tell friends to be honest about their sexual preference , however my sense is wait till you are abit older
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A
male
reader, jc2008 +, writes (18 April 2010):
Congratualtions in accepting who you are, the first step to coming out is admitting it to yourself, once thats out the way you have to decide how you want to tell others which you are contemplating. If I was you i'd see if there are any gay youth groups you could go to, they should lead you in the right direction. What I would say is be carefull who you come out to at first, and makesure you tell your parents yourself. At the end of the day you are who you are and as long as you are confident within yourself people will then resepct you.
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