A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:we've been seeing each other for over a month now. Every week, but usually at his place. We will go out for dinner the odd time. He says he wants it to stay casual as he just got out of a 3 and a half year relationship. In the beginning he would say really sweet things like you're the best thing thats happened to me in a long time but the past couple weeks its stopped. He still calls me pet names. I'm 24 and hes 46. Never been married and doesn't see himself being married. I don't see myself being married either. He texts me every day. I'm falling for him. Huge time. We have so much in common. We're both very artistic. He works in an art field. He says he wants it to stay casual and doesn't want to think about a relationship. I just want to know if he has feelings about me but is just trying to ignore them. I asked him via text if he cared about me and he said of course he does and laughed and asked me where the heck that question came from. He bought me a bunch of art stuff the other day. He pays for everything. I think he would be disappointed if he knew that I was seeing other people than just him and vice versa. Our sex is amazing. We make love too. I want to give him his space and time to heal but I cant help what I'm starting to feel for him. I can wait but the problem is he ignores the serious questions when texting and immediately changes the subject. It still doesn't change everything else though. Does this "relationship" have any potential????
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female
reader, Kindpigeonette  +, writes (12 February 2013):
It's only been a month and you are already having these kinds of problems? 46, works in the art field, never married, and dating a 24 year old, and ignores serious questions. Mentally he is dating an older woman. This is the reason why if you like older men and want a relationship with a stable one -- you need to lie about your age (for working people).
A
female
reader, Dayzee  +, writes (9 February 2013):
Honey you have moved too fast by entering into a sexual relationship with him right off the bat. Now you want to move fast and enter into an emotional bond and he doesn't.
If you back out of the sex, he'll see it as game playing and manipulation so too late I think.
Right now he is getting what he wants from the set up. Unless you want to lose him you are going to have to settle for his terms or leave. There is a movie with Steve Martin and Scarlett Johannsen called Shop Girl about an identical situation. Get it out and watch it. I think you will enjoy it.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (9 February 2013):
 He is not looking for a relationship and you are, that means that right now you two are just not compatible. This won't end well for you, you should break it off before you get any more involved. You're probably thinking if you just stick it out, his feelings will eventually develop too, but they won't.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 February 2013):
 I don't think so. He told you he wants to keep it casual. He told you he does not want a relationship. Believe him. Big age difference, never married. Said really sweet things " at the beginning ", but that has already stopped - in all of one month. Ignore serious questions, changes the subject. Moral : he does not want anything too serious.
It does not have to mean that he does not like you as a person and he's just using you for sex. But it probably means that he wants something transitional and recreational, in the moment, without the weight of plans and expectations.
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A
female
reader, Ilha  +, writes (9 February 2013):
Dear OP,The only way you can find out if there is any potential in this relationship is to talk to him when both of you meet up every week. Tell him honestly how you feel and give him a chance to explain how he feels. You have the right to ask him if there is any future in the relationship because he cannot expect you to be waiting forever as you are still very young. It is never a good idea to text guys about serious matter, because they just do not know how to respond to that. Hence, you have to discuss it face to face. All the verbal cues and gestures will also provide a mass of information on how he views the relationship he has with you.He wants casual, but you have fallen for him and he has the right to know that. Many girls and ladies tend to think they can change a guy's mind when they are involved but most guys stay true to what they have told the ladies at the beginning of the relationship. Whether you should tell him you are seeing other people or not is your choice. There might be no need to tell him about that cause both of you are not in an exclusive relationship as HE stated he wanted casual.So, communicate with him, face to face and be prepared for any respond or reaction from his part. Only both of you can answer the question you ask.Good luck!!!
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