A
female
age
30-35,
*inglemom
writes:Well where to begin? I was in love with my ex so very much to the point I did everything for him. He was my life. We were together for there years and I never felt for anyone or anything the way I felt for him ....he did not how ever feel the same We have a son together who is now a year oldHe was not there for me while I was pregnant. He left me while I was nine weeks along for his ex, who he has two daughters with. I also found out he was texting her the entire time and my heart is so broken I cry still every single chance I get.The thing is places and even smells remind me of him don't get me wrong IM not obsessed with him. But I'm extremely hurt. It's been over a year now I don't know how to get through this .....Any advice also he was abusive twards the end too and I think about that a lot too.How he could do all this to me and act like it's fine? when he picks up my son to go to their house...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2013): Hang in there its hard what you need to do is end contact completely with him and either do this by leaving your son at a friends or relatives and having him contact them and have him pick your son up from their place and if you can't do that then go through a goverment service. Because you need to do this in order to move on and if you dont then you never will. But heres the good bit, you can definitely move on but you need to end the contact, let the thoughts come and be there because if you try and push them out then it will just make them worse instead let them be there and gently move your attention onto something else, this is also a good time to get out of yourself and keep yourself busy with friends, or if you enjoy your job then put focus on that and throw yourself into new hobbies and activities that you enjoy, remove anything around your house that reminds you of him and your not going to do it with things outside but doing it at your place will help you and seek the support of good friends and famly because this l help you stay strong.And the biggest one is time i know it sounds typical but its true as aslong as you let yourself move on then you will move on because it will get easier and time will heal and you will get through it.Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, Cripes  +, writes (9 February 2013):
Your real problem now is not him, it is the way he has actively distorted your opinion of yourself. You need to focus on yourself, and learn to love yourself again after he devoted so much time to insidiously preventing you from doing so. You need to spend time with good friends, focus on your son and what a good parent you are, make new friends if you can, or take up a hobby you've always wanted to do - a change in how you spend your time will put distance between yourself and him. DECORATE YOUR HOUSE - this can make such a difference. Paint it the colours you love. Remove all traces of him from your environment. It smells like him? Febreeze it until the smell is gone. Get a slip-cover from the couch in some insane girly pattern that lifts your heart that he would have hated. Always have fresh flowers in the house, and incense - I know it sounds silly, but it helps. "Paint" with your son (splodges of bright colour and hand prints) and then frame these paintings, so when you look around you see a happy home built for you and your child, with no traces of that loser.The feelings will go, I promise. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2013): I really feel for you .I have been through similar and all I.can say is time heals .you are worth so much more ,it sounds like he treated you badly and your self esteem is rather low .I can say that after thinking that my x the father of my son had broken my heart beyond repair I am a lot happier and HAVE healed .try and focus on your little boy as he needs you .draw strength from him and your family and friends .I promise you will get stronger and you deserve somome to adore you in the way that ypu loved your x .good luck and be strong .x
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