A
female
age
30-35,
*abymamma626
writes:Okay, so I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we are both madly in love with eachother, and we are expecting our first child! We have lived together since the day we started dating practically! We have just been inseperable! He has never really asked me to marry him, but he calls me his fiance sometimes. I secretly like it just because I am almost positive we are going to get married someday. When I approach him on the marriage topic he says in a couple years! Does this mean he may propose? Or is this his way of fantasing?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): Sure honey, he loves you and in time, wants to marry you too. You should be really happy, so congratulations :] On your pregnancy too, best of luck!
A
female
reader, kittikat +, writes (22 May 2008):
 YAY! Thanks! You're awesome, glad it meant something :-)
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A
female
reader, lilmisse2424 +, writes (22 May 2008):
 You definitely have found yourself a keeper. He is there for you, he loves you, and wants to work hard and be a good dad. It does look like he wants to marry you, and it seems like it to be honest, and well, right now, he wants to focus on the aspect of being a father first and put some money to support you and the baby.
I would also say enjoy the love you have now. I'm sure he would want you to worry about what you have now first, and then when you get to the point of marriage, then worry about the details of the wedding rings, gowns, place, etc.
Good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, babymamma626 +, writes (22 May 2008):
babymamma626 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Kittykat your advice rocks! I THINK I LOVE YOU! LOL JK JK but for real your advice is extremely helpful! :D thanks!
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A
female
reader, kittikat +, writes (22 May 2008):
I agree, enjoy the love you share... you have much more joy to celebrate than lots of people out there with wedding rings on :-) I know how you feel. I've been called the "fiance" for a few years now, but no ring, no date, no proposal. Just "fiance" and getting married "soon". Men are weird as Hell, who knows what he's going to do. I do know that it's pretty scary for a guy to formally propose with a ring and all, not so much because of what you'll say, but because we ladies tend to place so much importance on that one simple gesture. He wants to do it "right" and not disappoint you. He knows that we're wired that way from the time we're little kids- from watching too many Disney movies in the 80's and now those ridiculous shows on reality TV. My ex-husband's proposal went something like this...Location: Outside of a convenience store "Hey, we should get married. I don't want to go to Japan alone, we could go snowboarding as much as we want..." All I heard was MARRIED, because no matter how cool and aloof I thought I was, I was still a female :-) I ended up buying our plain wedding bands with a credit card (like, 89.00 or something) and we were married for 10 bucks at the county courthouse (Christmas discount) We then got on a plane the next day to Japan. Wasn't quite the fanstasy I had growing up. My family was furious- oldest girl, oldest granddaughter, big Irish Catholic family- I caused total chaos. THEY had been fantasizing about my wedding since I was a kid too! Even though I'm not a materialistic girl, I was pretty disappointed and it was so anti-climatic it was sad.
So, just relax and give him time to make it a nice thing for you to remember. Just don't work yourself up every time he bends down to tie his shoe! I've been doing that for a while now and it's a killer on the 'ol psyche :-) Besides, you're married anyway- two people joined forever, loving eachother and starting a family. Do you really need a piece of paper to tell you that you're happy? Nah.
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (22 May 2008):
 i think he likes the idea but with the baby on the way i think he wants to focus his concerns more on that to be honest as having a child can be hard work and stressful and it can take up the better part of your life and money, so i dont think he is avoiding marriage i think hes just got different priortys i think.. give it time as you seem to have more pressing matters dnt give up hope.. thats my opinion on the matter aphex gd luck with the baby
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (22 May 2008):
 He is with you, loving you, excited to be having a child with you...he's giving you lots of signs that he is very committed to you so chances are one day the proposal will come...but is it so important? You've got so much already - enjoy it!!
If being married or at least engaged is about feeling secure in the relationship/for the child's sake...maybe you need to talk about that with him.
Best of luck with your pregnancy/bub AND with your man!
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