A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Bah.Im 16, male, in the UK.And, i'm anything but confident. I must be one of the only guys in my year who hasn't had a girlfriend yet and it drives me insane.There is one girl, who I like, a lot a lot and I have for quite a while now. A couple of years back apparently she felt the same way but it never got anywhere. So my first question is how on earth do I tell if she likes me?I thought she might, we used to stay up till 3 in the morning talking to each other on MSN etc. and we get on well together, but then she's had several other boyfriends during that time so I figure shes not interested. Secondly.I was wondering if I really liked her or I just wanted a girlfriend in general, I keep having these dreams where its just me and a girl (Who I dont recognise) lying down and watching a film together, it's nothing to do with sex, I think I just want someone to be close to. Then there's another girl at school (Who I know isn't interested) who comes up to me and hugs me every day, and we talk etc. And I look forward to meeting her, when we hug I feel happy but, not the same way I do when talking to the first girl.I realise this is kinda long and confusing. But I'm not sure what to do, I can't tell if the girl likes me because shes had a few boyfriends and apparently is getting close to another one now. So probaly not, everythings just kinda a mess. Bleh.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2007): So, how did it go? (smiley)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for all the help, especially 1 + 3 since I didn't quite get 2 o.o
I think i'm gonna mention it to her on Monday and see how it goes, thanks again :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for all the help, especially 1 + 3 since I didn't quite get 2 o.o
I think i'm gonna mention it to her on Monday and see how it goes, thanks again :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2007): "...I am anything but confident....I must be "one" of the only guys in my year who hasn't had a girlfriend, yet". What the H--- is it?! A contest? "I'll bet I can get more girlfriends than you before we're seniors"?? Who are you competing with? and why? Bah! Humbug! (lol) Well, I am at a little disadvantage here,..by a few years and an ocean,..I don't know the culture or the generation thing too well where you are. But, when I was your age, I had a lot of "girl friends". We didn't think about "going steady" or some gal being some dude's "main squeeze"...That was all in the movies. We were just friends. We had grown up together. We went places together and saw movies and went to sport events. We had great times. Sure, some were a little more "sweet on each other" than the rest of us were, but it was no big deal. Next year, they would be just friends again. We knew we would all be going in different directions very soon. In the U.S., that is the way it is. Few would stay in the town we grew up in. We would come back for family and holiday. We would even have class reunions sometimes. (Most were very small). People grow up...and grow away. We are a big country, and people may have to go far from their hometowns to school, or to find jobs, or follow careers. As much "in love" as many of us were in school, it was rare for such a young romance to result in anything permanent...like marriage. But, of course, some did,.. and still do. (one of the reasons small towns and cities still exist). So, what was my point? Ah, yes. My young friend in the U.K. has no "girlfriend"...and all his mates do. Well, young mate, being friends with girls is no big secret or problem. You make friends with them by letting them know you like them and showing some interest in them and what they like. Do you make friends with other blokes by telling BS stories about them or calling them low-life names? No. In fact, it just might cause a re-arrangement of your facial features. Right? It certainly would in my era and location. Not too wise. Well, why would you think that would win you friends among the other gender? It won't. Not even among those who aren't particularly friendly with each other. Girls tend to form defensive circles when one of them is being "attacked" from the outside.. We guys don't do that. We pretty much let everybody hang from their own noose. Anyway, young and U.K., be friendly and open and don't be afraid to talk to girls. They won't bite you, and you may be surprised that they speak the same language you do. And they are so tired of just talking among themselves, they will probably gab you to death. You will only have to nod and say, "yeh, right", once in a while. (wink)
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A
female
reader, agony aunt j +, writes (17 March 2007):
 ok, lets take this slowly! as i am a female myself, i can try to help you by understanding some of the girl lagnuage, but not every girl thinks the same way. I honestly think she might like you back, even though she has a lot of boyfriends. sometimes, when someone likes someone else(her liking you) they might feel like the other person doesn't like them back(she might feel you dont like her back) so they date other people. but none of her relationships sound serious, because she seems to have so many. there is a chance that you just want someone to be close to - but thats for you to determine. try and work things out in your own mind before you do anything. but if you're feeling something special with her that youre not with the other girls, the chances are you like her more than a friend.The worse this girl can really say is no, atleast you'll know the truth then. If you're shy, just try and be normal, i know it's hard but you can do it! hmm, as for the dreams, well they could be because you just feel vunerable. you said youre the only boy without a gf at this time, but so what! enjoy being young while you can, there's time for serious things later. try and get to know her properly and find out if you really like her as much as you think you do. then go step by step to asking her out - like i said - the worst she can do is say no.
good luck!!!
:):)
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (17 March 2007):
 There is first girl whom you like, but she is getting close to another one now.There is second girl who comes up to you, hugs you everyday, and you talk.You also have specific dreams about a girlfriend in general.You wanna know which one of the two likes you.Probably they are both not interested in you the way you want, but the first was closer to become your friend, and the second may become your friend.
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A
female
reader, DMJ83 +, writes (17 March 2007):
 Hi!
It sounds to me like the girl likes you but doesn't have the courage to tell you and so, she tries to replace you by hooking up with some other guy.. maybe she's shy too? Don't be embarrassed about the fact you've never had a girlfriend.. some people just start later than others. The secret is to just get out there and have fun - don't get me wrong, you could ask this girl and she might turn you down but what have you got to lose? At least, you'll know and can get over it and move on if she don't feel the same. And if you haven't much confidence, think of someone you know who has and next time you see her, pretend to be that person and you'll come across as confident. That's what I do! I didn't start dating 'til I was 19 and now, at 23, I have guys queuing round the block to date me! The past is history, the future's a mystery but the present's a gift - use it! Go on, I dare ya!
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