A
female
age
30-35,
*atx3
writes:Long story short, the guy who i dated for a year and a half wants a last chance. Btw hes 20, if that makes a difference. He was the one who i gave multiple chances too and every time i did he would take advantage of it. He knew how much i loved him and how much i cared for him that he thought he could get away with anything. He cheated on me, and i was in a emotional abusive relationship with him. I wanted things so badly to work and would beg for him to stay but he would always walk away not giving a damn.This tore me apart. I lost the once happy girl that i always was and became really depressed. After 4 months of pretty much hating life i decided to pick up the bits and pieces and trusted in God to move on from all of this and only become a stronger person form it all. Right when i finally got over him, its like he knew and i got a phone call from him wanting to talk to me because he was in a really "bad position in his life that he didn't wanna be in and needed me more than ever". I agreed to talk and it ended up him wanting a last chance. I told him at that point and time we could only be friends, also because he had another gf and was telling me how he can't be with anyone else because he only has those feelings for me. He ended up breaking up with her. and promised me he would be the guy that i always hoped he'd be.I agreed to give him a last chance. He ended up texting her and asking for make up sex. She messaged me on fb and told me. I told him i wanted nothing to do with him, and he went crazy. He told her it was a mistake and was begging for me just let it go because it had only been two days that he had broken up with her. He has his mom and sister call me to help me understand why he did it and that it was a mistake? I once again choose to understand and forgive him.Things were going great. He was trying his hardest, and wanting to spend every minute he could with me. He WAS the guy that i had always wanted him to be. But after he screwed me over multiple times i had built up a huge wall around my heart and it's hard for me to trust him again. It's like those feelings for him don't exist anymore, its almost as if i can't love him because i feel like i'm cheating myself of giving him another chance that he never deserved.Then i found out he had texted his ex again because "she deserved to know what had happened in their relationship". This was the last straw for me. I texted him told him to delete my number and that i was done. He went CRAZY. He called me a total of 60 times (no sarcasm) and left me 5 voicemails with 20 texts. Then i got a text from him that said he "was going to kill himself because he can't be without me" this freaked me out so i finally called him back and he was bawling his eyes out on the phone. I had never ever seen him like this. It scared me and made me cry too and he begged for me to go over to his house to talk. I went and he grabbed me and started crying and apologizing saying he'd do anything i want him to do for me to stay with him. When i left he kept texting me saying he can't live without me, that i was always going to be his no matter what. Then he called me at 3 am crying saying how losing me was the scariest thing for him.He will not let go no matter what. He's fighting his hardest to keep me around. But i don't know if i will ever be able to love him the same as i once did because of what he had done to me in the past.Should i stay or should i go? This is one of the hardest decisions i will ever have to make.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Run, dont walk, away from him.
How many last chances are you going to give him? Right up until the day you take your last breath?
Give yourself the chance, the chance to move on and build a life that will attract the sort of man you really want in your life, one that doesnt lie or cheat, or abuse you.
As for his suicide threat, not your problem, believe me, this is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Wipe him from your online contacts, delete him from your cell, dont accept any calls or communication from him, if you have reason to be concerned or scared of him seek information from your local police on how to obtain an AVO or restraining order
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 September 2010):
Go.
He's a pitiful loser, who has failed you multiple times, alone with plenty of other people (like this other girl as well).
He will never care for you, never treat you properly, never love you. He will just take, and take, and take and leave you with nothing. Look what he did to you. Now look what he did to the other girl (he came to see you whilst going out with her).
You even took him back YET AGAIN. What did he do? He went and texted his ex.
JUST STOP WITH THIS GUY. You will regret not having dumped him sooner when you meet a better one. You really will. He will never be a decent guy. He will just hurt you and take you for a ride. And you will have no decent life, no decent chance to have a family with a good guy, and no hope.
He is WORTHLESS.
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A
female
reader, RennieGeek +, writes (27 September 2010):
You need to go. You have given him multiple chances and still he has not changed. I have endured this kind of pain, but you honestly are not happy, you cannot trust him, and you are worn out from it all mentally.
Do it and ask him how long he expects you to wait for him to change after all the time you've spent giving him chances. He may still be persistent but stick to your ground and mean business.
You deserve to be truly happy and find someone who you don't have to give a second chance to.
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A
female
reader, hlp  +, writes (27 September 2010):
Let go !
At this age with no kids, no house, etc to make life harder.
Well then this should not me this messy.
Like Maya Angelu said "when people show you who they are, belive them !"
He may be upset, and his feelings probably are true.
But the poor thing just cant learn from his mistakes.
And it is not right to make you heart a punching bag for him.
Be on your own team sweetie !
Best of luck.
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