A
male
age
30-35,
*hikari424
writes:I can't stave off something that has made me massively insecure and jealous. My girlfriend of 3 and a half years recently broke up with me for another guy. It was the worst experience of my life, literally :( but it's been 4 months since then and i've been doing my best to move on.But...i can't stop thinking about something my ex kindly decided to fill me in on, which was the size of her new lovers penis. It's massive apparently (8ish inches and quite wide, if i remember correctly) At that point of speaking, she hadn't had sex with him yet. I'm so jealous and insecure, and want to know (truthfully) if she getting more out of sex now? I just need to put my mind at rest. It's not that i'm inadequately small! I have a larger than average penis, but could someone tell me if bigger really means better?
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broke up, insecure, jealous, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (23 January 2008):
Most people here are really helpful and i remember one of the things that bugged my mind when i was breaking up with my girfriend was whether she wasn't leaving me for the sex but i guess your ex is sick in da head.It also helped me alot talking my problems out,here.However,you really can't over someone overnight.You'll need to deal with it each day.
Take care.
A
male
reader, shikari424 +, writes (21 January 2008):
shikari424 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone who responded! My mind really has been put at rest, i'm not feeling so insecure anymore that's for sure! Slowly slowly i'm feeling myself getting over my ex, and pages like this have helped so much.
Thanks all.
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A
male
reader, Cardigan  +, writes (12 January 2008):
There are two issues involved here. The first is the ex's comment and the second is your response.As to the first, the ex was apparently trying to emasculate you because on the psychological scales of balance, by lowering your position in her mind she has raised her position. This is a tactic employed by those that at the least are insecure and, at the most, suffering serious emotional problems.As to the second, though it is not a shortcoming to feel insecurity and jealousy, it is if you allow this to disrupt your life. In other words, do not allow her problems to become your problems. You are young yet and you will meet more people that for whatever reason need to tear down rather than build up. Bear in mind that you are a good enough person that you can pass on the former while you keep looking for the latter.As a postscript to the idea of whether or not penis size matters, the short answer is yes. This matters to you and your partner but it really is only a matter of finding the right "fit." I have personally experienced women that were too small for me (or I was too big for them) and women that were too big for me (or I was too small for them). And incidentally, you only need to find someone that is close to the right size and let the miraculous human body take over. Not only will her vagina size itself to you, but different positions will produce different results.Accept who you are and who your ex is and continue to be the better person.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 January 2008):
 Why do the man worry about the size so much?Is bigger the better? Some are bigger and some are longer but many man have an average size .
It is rare to find a bigger and a longer one which can only be found in bigger animals like elephants or horses…U will never know the size until u see them.This is because the size of the man may not correlate to the size of his other brain.A smaller man may have a bigger cannon.
Thickness is preferred over length as this can give the woman more pleasure and sensations .An average man will be able to perform adequately and man should not worry too much about the size.Otherwise they will not perform satisfactory or may suffer ED or PE.
They should also not worry about what the wife thinks of his size.Wives are tactful and understanding.Some wife are so shy and do not look at them .
An experienced man will know what makes his wife come on…What is important, is the man must learn the technique’s to arouse and make the woman’s sexual fantasies alive….
She is only justifying her decision to reject you, nothing . more.A woman does not love a man only for the length of his penis.Such woman are very shallow and unworthy of your love.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (12 January 2008):
Some men have SPS or ‘Small Penis Syndrome.’They worry about the size of their penis, whether they will be able to give a good performance to their partners.
Some men believed that a bigger and longer penis will give more satisfactions or enhanced their performance. Some of them want to have longer erections to last the distance.
Some of these men seek modern medicine for their needs while others seeked the traditional massage practitioners.
For further readings please follow this link:-It is from my archives in another site.
http://www.pinksuzie.com/2007/09/10/do-you-have-sps/
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A
female
reader, plum2008 +, writes (11 January 2008):
well sorry to say...if its small and the girl cant get any feeling then sex is not going to be as good as one that does fit better. big may not necessarily mean good...too big and it can hurt. secret is in finding a compatible fit.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (11 January 2008):
 Well sounds to me like she's just trying to hurt you. Who cares what she thinks? She's moved on apparently.
If she says it again, say "good, you've got a fanny like a bucket anyway" :)
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
As for moving on I've been going through a rough patch following splitting up with my girlfriend 2 months ago and have written an article on what I've been doing and what's been working for me. Take a look. Might be of some use to you:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-to-get-over-your-ex.html
Best of luck :)
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A
male
reader, chlez83 +, writes (11 January 2008):
Welcome to the insecurities guys also have.Most guys at your age or even younger will tend to wonder if their manhood is da right size and try and compare with others.I'm guilty of that too.What's surprising is do you know what determines the right size? We are so obsessed with our manhood size and yet neglect to study the woman's vagina,where the penis goes.It's like trying to find best fit.To answer your question,bigger will NEVER mean better but i can tell you that some women wouldn't mind bigger.
What is better sex?I believe it's pleasuring your partner better.Is this confined to the vagina and penis? I believe sex begins in the mind and spreads to the rest of the body and NOT just the vagina.What you need to quiz your mind about is how you can pleasure your partner better.
What your ex did is really shallow and aimed at making you feel bad which makes me wonder why.And it seems she's done a good job of it.Stop worrying.Why don't you tell her that she find's the new guy's size better because she has an overstrecthed vagina and you are better off with a "normal" girl.Don't be put down by what she says and please stay away from her.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (11 January 2008):
Yes, some women prefer "larger" guys (or at least say so) but they don't seem to agree on what is "large", or even if it refers to "long" or "thick".
If that was the ONLY reason, I suspect you could have worked through the problem. Some positions naturally fill a girl more than others. The skillful use of fingers, tongue, or even artificial toys can probably give her whatever sensation she's looking for.
I think she's just trying to embarrass or hurt you, or to find an excuse to justify her own less-than-noble actions.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 There are size queens out there who prefer a bigger one, And your ex could be one of them. I have known only one girl in my life who claimed that she wasnt satisfied unless she had a big one inside of her. But she was an incredibly shallow, insensitive, selfish jerk who to this day jumps from guy to guy - she is never happy.
On a more realistic level, I would argue that a lot of girls do get turned on by a bigger penis but only in the same way that a guy gets turned on by a nice big pair of breasts. Basically its only titilation, fantasy stuff, the reality is different, for a girl a big penis often brings on cystitis and often guys with bigger equipment are very selfish in the bedroom. My partner's ex was very well endowed ( which by the way doesnt bother me in the slightest) and she said that while it was great at first she started getting cystitis all the time and their sex life dried up. She also said she never orgasmed with him as it was hard enough just to accomodate him.
So the bottom line is a big penis' like big breasts are something we fantasize about, in reality we like people with normal sized equipment,its better for both parties. Your ex is just trying to make you feel bad, chances are she is lying anyway as she reckons it will make you feel bad about yourself. She's doing a good job thus far.
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A
female
reader, cheryluk24 +, writes (10 January 2008):
 ignore the remarks its got nothing to do with the size of ur penis that means better sex she is just trying to put u down i think u should just move on and find someone whop appreciates u for u and not the size of ur manhood good luck email me anytime x x x
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A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Well, if all she enjoys in sex is the penis and penetration she might think so, but in such a case it sounds like she is not having much fun anyway. I can of course not speak for all girls here, but I would say that there are too many other pleasurable things with and about sex so the size of the penis is not really up for nr 1 concern. And if it would be, I would say that if size matter, it is rather that a woman would have a problem with it being very big than being small. But of course, that is only my opinion. And no, I'm not saying that only to be nice.
I think she mentioned it because she for some reason wanted to put you down and give you something that would mess with your mind. She was angry with you. Don't think more about it.
Best wishes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): I do think size matters a little! Average is much better though. Trust me. If its too big it would be painful and there would be no enjoyment as all you'd be thinking about is when the pain can stop!!
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (10 January 2008):
 No not an ounce of difference.
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (10 January 2008):
 I know a lot of my fellow aunts are trying to be nice here, but the plain fact is that for a lot of women size DOES matter. Maybe you got stuck with one of those shallow size freaks. But she's obviously trying to push your buttons by comparing him to you and she hasn't even had sex with him yet. We gotta live with what we got, dude. If you say you're bigger than average than you got no problem. Like the nicer girls will tell you its not the size that counts but what you do with it.
She's your ex now so don't let her crap bother you. Just stay away from her.
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A
female
reader, CaliGurl +, writes (10 January 2008):
I agree with everyone. Its not the size that counts its how you use it! Its extremely cruel of her to be sharing this sort of initmate information with you especially if she knows how hurt you are from this whole experience! I wish you the best in moving on with your life, because I know how low and down a breakup after a lengthy relationship can make you feel...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): Size does matter yes. But I would hope and doubt that she did dump you based on just that. Women have a preference in size of the penis just like men have one for the size of a woman's breast. I was with a guy for about 3 years, and he was the smallest guy I had ever been with......I didnt not break up with him because of size.
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Your ex sounds very immature going on the size of her new bf penis. You are certainly better off out of it. Size does not mean a thing it's what you do that counts. Great sex happens in a loving, happy relationship.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Hi
I'm with AJjess here! Unless you have a bucket...well, you know what i mean!? you wont want a mahooooosive one thats for sure. Cystitis risk increase! Ouch.
The size of someones manhood, or breasts for that matter doesnt make for a loving stable relationship. Fact. She sounds either quite shallow, or like she's trying to get to you. Hmmm i wonder why????
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Good Lord, did she actually get down there and measure it with a ruler or something? How insane! If she broke up with you simply on penis size, how incredibly shallow of her! You're better off without her. But more than likely, there were other things missing in the relationship and she's just being a bitch to disclose the size of her new b/f's penis and rub it in your face. How tacky! It's been my experience than an average size penis feels better than a very large one because an average size penis can penetrate deeper, you can actually feel it inside of you, feel the head, feel it swell when it explodes....A larger one just feels likes a whole lot pressure and so many positions are impossible and uncomfortable. If your penis is at least 5 inches when erect, trust me, your packing plenty to please a woman. You needn't worry about it anymore and by all means, stop talking to your ex before she completely destroys your feelings.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (10 January 2008):
 Nope doesnt make a diffrence its not the size its how a guy can use it to big and its hurts to have sex i think she is just trying to make you jealous so dont worry
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A
female
reader, AJ jess ^..^ +, writes (10 January 2008):
 i wudnt say it does tbh cos a bigger penis sometimes can be quite painfull i wud say its more about how good you are at foreplay and technique than size x
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