A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Simple question, if a guy you're seeing wants to be friends on facebook, is this a good sign that he is genuine? Because i think that if were friends on there, then he is honest about not having a girlfriend or dating anyone else. Like he doesn't have anything to hide, could just be me.. but yeah is this a good sign of him?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 It doesn't mean anything if he adds you on facebook or not. If he wanted to lie about having a girlfriend on the side he could easily do that even if he's on facebook, do you for example know just how many accounts you can have on facebook?If you want to know if he's genuine get to know the guy, talk to him, and figure it out from there. Facebook truly doesn't matter in this. There's guys out there that even introduce both of their girlfriends to friends and family, friends and family being fully aware that he's playing both girls.Trust your gut instinct and take your good time to get to know a guy. It's the only way around it. Or have good faith, don't automatically believe all guys are double players. Just avoid the ones with the obvious red flags.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): It's a good idea to be friends with someone on facebook but only if you're smart about it.
I know people that never change their relationship status from being single to a relationship. Plus most people only do that for long term, official relationships. He could be seeing any number of other girls and you just wouldn't know.
It is *NOT* a sign that a guy is genuine.
You know OP facebook is very deceptive in that it is the best possible representation a person. They're not going to post their flaws, or whether they're cheating on it. They're not going to post that they felt some girl up while she was passed out drunk nor would they post their criminal record or whether they're a drug user. It is only a tiny fraction of a person OP and all of it can be faked and even real things are exaggerated, even the genuine people on it only post things that show themselves in the best possible light. We build a persona on it OP, no one lays themselves completely bare on it.
We all have something to hide OP, we all hide certain things from specific people. Facebook is the exact same as the things we let people we've just started dating know. it can take a long while to find out whether a person is genuine and you can only find that out by observing their long term consistent behaviour, never on the things a person says nor how they present themselves on facebook.
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A
female
reader, skoolof life  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 I get what you mean about him not hiding anything, but do you only know him from online - or is he someone in your day to day life?And also is he going to say hes in a relationship and naming you as his girlfriend or just adding you to his friends list?
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A
female
reader, catcher00 +, writes (3 May 2011):
I dated a guy who i MET on facebook and it was the worst experience of my life. He was the LEAST trust worthy guy I knew. Sure enough, he was "single," if that's your main concern, that he's likely not married. You'll be able to tell if those 300 friends are truly people he knows in person or not. And it would be quite awkward for such a large sum to know what you're up to in creating a "single" profile. So the guy I met on fbook surely did not have a wife or even a gf. He was rather just out of the only long-term relationship he'd ever had. But I began noticing that he never mentioned me in his status'. Which was quite unusual considering he mentioned every other little move he made, but just omitted any mention of me in his life. It took me a while to catch onto this... Point being-- facebook is not set in stone. The person at the controls is still manipulating info, pictures, etc... so, no, a guy befriending you on facebook does not mean he's trustworthy. It's just a normal thing to do when talking to somebody...anybody, really.
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (3 May 2011):
 Hello,
I would say just don't over analyse anything. You are seeing him so he adds you as a friend. That would be a natural progression as you both "know" eachother. But, only treat it as someone you know adding you. Don't read into it being anything deep or meaningful.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 I agree with caring guy. He could add you as a friends just like he could 1000 other people. People post alot of fake stuff on sites to make tham look good.
In my opinion being added as a friend on facebook doesn't further any relationship just like if facebook was to say that he is in a relationship. Now, I wouldn't say that it is a bad sign but I wouldn't base to much on this. If you like him then get to know him in person where real life comes into play and every move can't be calculated.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 May 2011):
 don't judge anything based on Facebook... look at his actions in real life.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 May 2011):
In my opinion, facebook is the tool of the Devil!
There is no way ever that you'll be able to judge someone properly using facebook. People can lie any time they like, they can set up fake accounts, they can hide things if they truly want to.
The only real way to be sure is to get to know him properly face-to-face. It's impossible to tell someone just using facebook.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 May 2011):
In my opinion, facebook is the tool of the Devil!
There is no way ever that you'll be able to judge someone properly using facebook. People can lie any time they like, they can set up fake accounts, they can hide things if they truly want to.
The only real way to be sure is to get to know him properly face-to-face. It's impossible to tell someone just using facebook.
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