A
female
age
26-29,
*icoleMarie
writes:So, I have this friend, or i thought he was my friend, and he's athletic, and he thinks he's perfect. We were talking and joking around like we always do, and then out of nowhere he goes all serious on me and tells me (in his exact words) "You know what? Seriously, you're just dumb, maybe you should join a real sport and find out what it feels like to lose weight."I mean really?? Did he just say that to me?? So that hurt me bad because, I've always been teased about my weight, and I've always been the "fat one" I mean I know I don't have the model body, and I'm not a size 0, and I don't weigh 100 pounds, but I don't consider myself fat. Just to let you know I'm 5'3" and I weigh 130 pounds. I go to the doctor for regular check-ups, and when I get weighed, they tell me I'm not overweight, I'm right where I should be. My boyfriend tells me I'm perfect and he loves my body, and I have lost about 10 pounds, and I was starting to feel comfortable with myself, and actually considering going out in a bikini this summer, but then I heard this. So I talked to him about it, you know telling him it hurts, and if he wanted to say that he should have told me that. Did I mention he said this in front of everybody? I was Mortified. Well anyways, his response to that was, "I don't care, I'm taller than you, and I only weigh 117. You need to cut the weight." I couldn't take it anymore, I walked away in tears.So anyways if you read all that, and you got to this point, thank you. But what I wanted to know is, Do you think it was okay for him to say that? And, Do you think I'm overweight? And lastly, Should I just ignore it and be happy with myself?
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female
reader, NicoleMarie +, writes (29 December 2010):
NicoleMarie is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for your answers. This really made me feel alot better. I'm done with him, by reading this, I see that he is not a good friend and I shouldn't worry about what he thinks, I'm happy with myself, and my boyfriend is happy with me, and that's all that matters. I now see that I am beautiful, and I thank you all for that.
Thank You so much for your help. :)
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (29 December 2010):
 Okay for him to say that? NO, absolutely not! He was rude, thoughtless, and when you pointed out to him that his comment was hurtful, he showed his true character by saying he didn't care!
If your doctor told you you're not overweight, and in fact you are right where you should be for your age and build, that's what counts......plus your boyfriend is happy with you : - )
You need a "friend" such as that one, the same way you "need" a very bad headache!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 December 2010):
The guy's a jerk who knows so little about women it's a joke. He hasn't got a clue about anything.
First of all, you're in your teenage years. That means that naturally, you're growing. That means that naturally, you might put on weight, you might lose it.
Secondly, women have to carry more fat on them naturally because of carrying children later in life. So for him to compare himself to you is utterly ludicrous. How can he?! You're a girl, and he's a boy so you can't compare. You have totally different bodies.
Thirdly, your boyfriend likes you and fancies you, exactly as you are. He doesn't think that you have a problem.
Fourthly, and most importantly, the doctor has said you're fine. A trained medical professional has said that there is nothing wrong with you.
I think you should cut this jerk out of your life. You're clearly not overweight at all, and he's clearly stupid.
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (29 December 2010):
 Im sure you felt humilated however he humilated himself more. People whom put people down in front of others are trying to boost thier own ego and are arrogant.
He thinks he is god's gift and is overly confident.
Its only a matter of time before he falls flat on his face.
It appears he places all importance into a physical sense.
yes it is important to look after your health but not everyone is made the same and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
He does not deserve you in his life.
He is not a friend - a friend would not do this.
A friend is someone who makes you feel good and is there through good and bad times.
Move on there is always another bus !!!
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