A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, first of all, I don't want any silly comments like: "you're an idiot, he should dump you, dumb b*tch." I already know. Anyways, so I went to Mexico without my boyfriend (we have been dating for a year and a half) and one night I got really really drunk and hung out with these 3 random guys that I met. I can remember pretty much everything, and I know nothing happened, like no kissing, no anything. I remember telling them I had a boyfriend, etc.. Anyway, so I meet them and I wanted to party because when I'm drunk, I just like to do random things, so, somehow, I don't know the logic in this, we decide to go back to their hotel room. We walk in, I see a bunch of sleeping people, then for some reason, still unknown to myself, I go in the shower, fully clothed, and they turn on the water, it was really hot so I ran out. Then, it just kind of clicked, and I said alright I really have to go home, and they walked me back, because I would have NOT known how to get back to my place. Nothing happened, and I honestly can say on my part, it was purely innocent. I had no intention of hooking up with these guys or anything, I am not like that at all. I didn't tell my boyfriend because I knew he would get the wrong idea, but his friend told him. After I told my boyfriend, he was really upset. I reassured him nothing happened and he says he believes me. I feel like he thinks of me differently.. Do you think he should break up with me?
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male
reader, mrantarctica  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 Something like this has everything to do with any relationship you're in. A relationship is a 2 way street. How you conduct yourself reflects on others. How would you respond if your boyfriend went overseas, got drunk and then got involved with some complete strangers and then something happened to him (i.e. car accident, got arrested etc.) If you were my girlfriend, I'd feel quite let down and disappointed. I think you'd have to work hard to show that you can have spontaneous random fun, but still have self control and maturity. Your episode doesn't indicate that. Saying things like "I could still remember everything" or "I didn't kiss/sleep with anyone etc." isn't saying a lot. You can't claim to have 'self control' by saying you could still remember things or didn't cheat on him, when it's clear that you were very drunk.At the end of the day, it's your life. I'm not suggesting you handcuff yourself to your boyfriend, or that you remain indoors and have no fun. You do what you want to do to enjoy your life and get the most from it.But if you do stuff like this, and then you tell him - you can expect these sorts of thoughts to go through his head. I don't want to play devils advocate or anything, but next time something like this happens - it's probably better you don't tell him. You're lucky I'm not your boyfriend, because I would have dumped you over something as "little as this" as some others state. While I applaud your attempt to volunteer it to him, it wouldn't be enough in my mind to suggest that you were trustworthy. More than anything, it confirms your selfishness because the motivation seems to be driven by guilt (presumably ALSO why you've posted such a question on this forum)I hope for your sake your boyfriend is more forgiving. At the same rate, I wouldn't beat yourself up about it too much either. As the others say, everyone makes mistakes. Just swallow your pride and move on. Don't do it again.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (12 May 2010):
 I'm so glad your are okay and you are able to tell your story..simply not a good idea. You have to be careful and not put yourself in danger these men could have hurt you really bad.
You did nothing but you did leave with these guys to a Hotel, I guess it depends on how much trust your boyfriends has on you. Even if you did nothing the evidence is against you. Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (12 May 2010):
No, I don't think so. You haven't done anything wrong. But you did put yourself in an unsafe situation, so in the future be a bit safer.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (12 May 2010):
 No, I don't think he should break up with you. I'm older and have learned that long term happiness is more important than my pride. He may not have figured that out yet.
Now you know what you did wrong. You went out with guys, and alcohol, and lots of alcohol. Really bad mixture. You should be more committed to your Guy than that.
FA
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 Not the best judgment, perhaps, but hardly a reason to break up. Like he's never done anything dumb?
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A
female
reader, Emaz help +, writes (12 May 2010):
 i dont understand why you think you're stupid? you didn't do anything wrong....at all. You got drunk but you still respected yourself and ur relationship so no of course he shouldnt split up with you, if he did he would be stupid
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (12 May 2010):
 If nothing truely happened, then no... But that doubt will likely linger. It will likely be hard for him to get past. It all boils down to how much he trusts you. Still behavior like this can't give the guy much confidence in you.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 May 2010):
You went on an adventure and met some new friends.
There is NO reason at all he should dump you.
On a personal safety note, getting drunk and going places with men is HIGHLY dangerous. ESPECIALLY in a foreign country.
You were stupid, but that's just something you should learn from, and not do again.
It has nothing to do with your relationship with your boyfriend.
Good Luck!! xx
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