A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I think I worded a question wrong the other day, but what I really wanted to know is do men sleep with women that they aren't physically attracted to, especially more than once.I think my suggested question title got changed and people basically thought I was asking if men do one night stands.Of course I know they do, as do women, i'm more interested in knowing if a guy generally needs to find the woman attractive or doesn't he care?Many thanks x
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2012): It seems to me there might be a couple ways to look at this, depending on the situation.First, in the past, I've had sex with women I wasn't very attracted to when I was between relationships. This is going to sound terrible (commence flaming!), but it was partly to practice so I wouldn't feel like such a rookie when I found a woman I thought was hot. I went into some of these relationships knowing they would be relatively short term. And, yes, there were times when I had to think about centerfolds or something to stay hard.But, it's not quite that simple. I've also been with women who were so smoking hot I got intimidated and went soft due to trying too hard (so to speak). I've also been with women who I didn't think were that hot at first, but ended up becoming very attracted to. If you do really like a woman as a person, they tend to get more attractive, and visa-versa.I've also had sex with women that I really liked as a person, but never I never developed much attraction for them. It's possible to really want to be attracted to a woman, but just not have it develop in that way. I can honestly say that, for me, my wife is the most attractive woman I've ever seen in real life, TV, you name it. But, I have a higher sex drive than her so I do "fly solo" from time to time. I do watch porn at times, and it is a low level turn-on, and it provides a little mental variety. But, I still always end up fantasizing about my wife as my solo "flight" begins to soar. What is perhaps really odd is that I often fantasize about my wife while I'm having sex with her.If a guy is obviously not concerned about your needs, I'd say it means he's either not caring or he's just in it for sex, and neither of these is good, of course.Still, it seems to me every situation/relationship has to be evaluated based on the actual facts. Experience is a good teacher, but even teachers get it wrong sometimes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't believe I have reached 40 & only just realised it might not be me they fancy as well as the sex, but just the sex. It's actually deflated me a bit. And I am not going to go there again with the guy I have slept with 3 times now. I say 3 times I have slept with him, most of it has been pleasing him, then going home, so what's the point anyway. (not that I want a relationship, but you know what I mean)
And the last time he had to close his eyes to reach the end I noticed, as half way through it started going soft!
Never had that with a guy before.
I also think he is addicted to porn, & possibly 99% of the time uses that to help himself out?
Or maybe I am just using that as an excuse!
And to think I passed up another casual guy for him as he is nearer my age & more free time. The young guy is the opposite, I had to slow him down!
Oh well, thanks for the answers folks xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): When I was a very young girl, for me it was a big and unpleasant surprise to find out that even this little condition as being physically attracted to a person to have sex with her not necessarily needs to be met.When I was young boys would express their thoughts in front of us girls shamelessly and openly. I heard things like: when I woke up I wanted to puke just looking at her, I will never get so drunk again to sleep with someone as ugly as her, I couldn't find any pretty one to go with me yesterday, so I had to settle for the ugly one and so on, and so on....Once I was entering a bar with my girlfriend, and 2 guys were looking at us, and one of them said: where were you girls before we found two ugly ones?To sum this up: no, guys don't have to be attracted to a woman to have sex with her. However , there are plenty of guys who are more selective and would never take to bed someone they don't like at least physically.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): In general a man can and will sleep with just about any woman if the hormones are raging, as will to a slightly lesser extent a woman, the level of attraction and the subsequent feelings toward that person will usually define the amount of contact afterward if at all
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Put a bag on her head and do it for Old Glory...Roll her in flour and find the wet spot...there's a million of them
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Yes. If hormones are raging, and there are no better alternatives available, they do.
I remember a cynical but sincere college mate of mine, who was being teased by friends for having a sort of FWB with a very unattractive girl.
His lapidary answer was : " Cunt is faceless ".
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Men can have sex with women they are not physically attracted to, yes. As can women. I doubt those who marry 90-year old millionaires find the 90-year olds "hot and sexy", to put it that way.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 June 2012):
 the old saying:
women need a reason to have sex
men just need a place
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 June 2012):
 The answer to your question can be summed up in this tired, old cliche:
Women need a reason to have sex; Men only need a place....
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Hi
Depends really, some guys have beer goggles and when sober cannot believe who they slept with. If sober, well I would have thought if they weren't attracted their bodily parts wouldn't function. But I am not a man so don't know if this is the case.
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 when a guy is hormonal he just wants sex. when he isn't he likes a relationship with sex. many guys are in the second phase. I don't know about percentages. you as a woman have to try and figure out which casmp your guy falls into unless you just want sex. the most important thing for people in the second category is the spark I believe. find someone with the spark and you're right for everything. just make sure the fire doesn't go out.
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A
female
reader, Justinara +, writes (11 June 2012):
Men can and do sleep with women who are not attractive.
If the woman has sex appeal and she is confident than yes, they do sleep with her more often. Its not the case of someone being beautiful, sex and love are different things, a men does not need to love a woman to sleep with her. She just needs to be good in bed, or meet his needs for him to sleep with her.
men take what's available but he will most likely to choose a beautiful girl if its between unattractive girl and a beautiful girl.
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A
female
reader, golddigger99 +, writes (11 June 2012):
 I asked my husband this question and he's helping me reply:I haven't read your first post, but according to my husband, a man CAN have an errection without being attracted to a person--especially if he has been drinking or is drunk. He also suggests that if he is in need of a release, it doesn't matter how many times you've had sex with him, that it could simply be him looking to please himself rather than an attraction.I hope this helps some. Good luck!
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