A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a bit of a problem at work. It started out with my boss flirting and making suggestive comments. He does this with several people at work. He does it in a playful way, and we have a good relationship, so I didn't mind. As inappropriate as it may seem, it was just playful flirting in the workplace. While this was a one way flirting at first, I must admit that I liked it and I am sure I flirted back (just words... nothing vulgar or explicit). Then one day, he tried to get physical. I let him know straight up that I wasn't going to tolerate that. He then started sending text messages that described in detail what he wanted to do with me. I know this is sexually harassment, that is not where my question lies. My question is, my boss is getting married. I know his fiancee (I would not say we were friends), but what I want to know is do I tell her? There is no doubt in my mind that he would be more than willing to sleep with me.. and for that matter others I work with too. I don't feel like it is my place to say something to her, but then again, I would not want to marry someone who is cheating. What do I do?
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male
reader, Twister360  +, writes (24 September 2009):
dont you just love when women think that flirting as___les are just being friendly , or "He does it in a playful way"... to answer ur question , you can either ruin their marrige and be blamed and probaly fired , or u can let him ruin his own marrige , get into an ugly divorce on which the wife will win the settlement since he will be caught in the act of cheating ! i suggest lay back and enjoy the show
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 September 2009):
If he continues, telling his fiancee might be the only option left. But it really is the last option. Far better to tell him tohis face in front of everyone else to stop sexually harassing you or you'll take him and the company to court and sue them! That might get a few people panicked enough to sack this sleazy cheat.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 Its really up to you if you want to tell her... she will probably accuse him and he will then be upset with you... Stop flirting with him, cut him short when he starts flirting and tell him that you dont appreciate his sleazy text messages and that he must stop or you will report him to the HR department.Distance yourself from him, he will use and discard you... dont think that you are the first woman at work that he has tried his luck with.Pity the girlfriend... she is going to marry him and then find out that he is a cheat.....
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A
male
reader, bouncer  +, writes (23 September 2009):
This guy is a slimy RAT and you would be doing his girlfriend a big favour to let her know. Never mind those people that say it is none of your business you know what he is really like so do the decent thing and tell his innocent girlfriend she deserves to know what kind of RAT he is. Wouldnt you like to know if you were his girlfriend? This RAT would like to have sex with you and then dump you like a hotcake.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): im not telling you to not tell her. It would be the right thing in my opinion...and she deserves to know. I just want to tell you to be prepared to deal with the consequences. Its a matter of living with yourself in my books.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): sweetie do whatever you feel, but i will tell you this, she wont believe you. Even if every female in your office goes together, she won't believe you. She'll ask him, he'll deny it. She'll believe him. Then she'll decide you're out to break them up...and your job will be history. I may be wrong...but 9 times out of 10, thats what happens. Good luck. :).
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 I would tell her. You would be saving her from heartbreak later on when she is married with children and she finds out that he cheated on her.
Other people would disagree saying it's none of your business and it would only cause you problems and you would be the "bad guy" for telling the bad news and probably get you fired.
You could ask suggest to your boss to break it off where he is already so disloyal to her or threaten to tell her if his behavior continues.
Good Luck!
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