A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi all!I have a dilemma guys, Basically I have the option of moving down south of my country to a really good job or I have the opportunity to move up north of my country to an ok job but the guy I like lives there. That guy and I dated for a while at university and it went well at the time but then I had to move back home (which is 6 hours away from him). He then dumped me after a few months of being long distance because he couldn't cope with it. To be honest I think he was dating other girls. It was a messy break up but now he wants me back. I care about him and love him but I know he's not right for me. A part of me wants to give him another go, by moving to his city and taking the ok job offer. But the other part of me wants a fresh start with this amazing new job. I'm scared ill always regret not picking one decision over the other. I really don't know what to do :-(... If he wasn't in the situation then I think I would end up going with the amazing job. Just a little side note, I absolutely love the city he lives in and have always wanted to live there regardless of him, which makes this decision even harder. What should I do? How should I come to a decision?
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long distance, move on, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 February 2013):
 go south! do not settle.... you are way too young...
a great job that you really love is hard to find..
i've had 4 husbands... and one great job.... go for the job!
A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (23 February 2013):
He couldn't cope with it. Big chance he missed the sex.
Did he actually love you? Any signs he cared for you at all?
Be honest to yourself about these questions. You may love him but that's not enough. It must be mutual.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (23 February 2013):
You already answered your own question in the question. Pick the job and then find a guy who is right for you. It's a win-win situation.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 February 2013):
 Why settle for half-ass?
If he isn't right for you, so you think a mediocre job will be enough to keep you happy if this guy doesn't work out?
I'd honestly go for the great job, get some EXCELLENT work experience and meet new people over a lousy job and a so-so BF who you already know ISN'T one for you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 February 2013):
 If you know he's not right for you, why even considering moving, near or far, down or south ? wrong is wrong.
I know, because you like him. In the current circumstances it does not sound, though, a valid enough motivation: you are offered a really good job ( in these difficult economy and shitty job market ) and you want to skip it for a guy whom you have just dated for a while, and who proceeded to date other girls and dump you as soon as you weren't under his nose anymore ?...
What about liking YOURSELF instead and taking the amazing work chance that you have been offered ?
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A
male
reader, Glacier +, writes (22 February 2013):
You know he's not right for you. I kind of stopped reading there.
Why on earth would you choose someone who is not right for you? He already dumped you and you suspect he was messing around. What makes you think he won't do that again?
In these hard times I would grab that amazing job with both hands.
If you don't have much trouble finding a bf in general then you'll be just fine in the location down south with a new love soon.
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A
female
reader, femmefemale  +, writes (22 February 2013):
If you know he's not right for you why would you move to be near him? Don't settle, you can find someone better suited for you.Put yourself first in this situation. Do what is best for YOU (move down south)
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (22 February 2013):
 That's a tough one. From my own personal experiences, I've had shit luck moving for another person. It never worked out. Really, it's just a matter of what you feel is most important. Love or your career. Honestly, in my personal opinion, you saw that your relationship didn't work out when you were long distance. He proved to possibly be untrustworthy and at the very least, not committed enough to see it through. When you love someone, you make it work, no matter how hard. So if I were you, I'd take the job offer. But that's easy for me to say from where I'm sitting, I know.
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