A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,I moved to Australia from England 2 years ago. My (now) partner was my best friend in the UK. She came to visit me, and we decided to take the relationship to the next level and we started dating.We had a long distance relationship for about 8 months, and she decided that she would also move to Australia to be with me and find work.She has been here for 9 months and is unable to find work in her chosen field.She went back to the UK for a few weeks and has been offered a job in the UK which she is being interviewed for now.I have a job which I enjoy. And a job which, due to my lack of qualifications, I fear I will not be able to get anywhere else - not with the pay or the benefits (training, company fuel card, company phone, good team to work with etc..) which I get here.I also don't really want to leave Australia and head back to England. I left the UK because I didn't like the place, and my family are over here.. And I am also heavily involved with the community over here.She is wanting me to go back to the UK with her so that she can start her career, which I understand. I don't want to be apart from her again, but I have no idea what to do...There are jobs I could do in the UK, but I will need to start again in my career or choose another career...On the flipside if I ask her to stay here she is sacrificing her career.Though she has said that if she gets the job in the UK she will take it as she wants a career. Which is annoying because I feel that she is putting her career in front of our relationship.... Even though I suppose that is what I am also doing.Confused as to what to do........ Help :)
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female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 you need to let her know you have rebuilt your life in australia and there are better opportunities for you there rather than in england e.g job and family i understand its a hard decision but you could drop everything go to england and may not end up with this women full term.you have to think what is best for you here and even you said you dont like the uk and you enjoy your life now being in australia so i say stay there, your partner took the risk of dropping everything to come and be with you in australia and there has to be some job opportunities out there that she can go for depending on how flexible she can be with what she wants to do with her career.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 March 2010):
Let her go. I say this, because overall, if you give up your life in Australia for her, and it goes wrong in Britain, you will really resent her for it. Where you are now is the first best bet for the rest of your life. You have said yourself that if you come back, the chances of you getting a job are low. Your family are out there. And you don't like they UK. Those are three reasons for staying, against one for coming back. Let this woman go, rebuild your heart and find another. If you come back here with her, you will really resent it.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (12 March 2010):
Unfortunately this is one of those situations where you might have to let the perfect person go. You are better off remaining in Australia where you are able to work in your chosen field and be near family. What if you go back and things don't work out between you? You will be resentful so let her come back. If you can support her financially for a bit then she can do some university classes to qualify for what she needs to do there.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 You two need to sit down and really hash this out. I don't think EITHER of you should give up your life for the other, because its going to cause resentment down the road if things should go wrong. I gave up my entire life for a man, moved to where he was, 18 months later he needed "space" and asked me to leave. My entire life was shattered. I wouldn't recommend that ANYONE do that unless there is a sincere commitment involved. One of you is going to have to bend, and it must be done willing and without regret, or it could very well cause a big problem down the road. TALK IT OUT. You may sadly not be able to come to a compromise. That's just the way life is sometimes.
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