A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What do you think of the no contact rule if you have been the one dumped, yet still in love? My bf broke up with me 3 weeks ago because he thinks we fight too much and he needs time to himself. He claims he still loves me, buthis behavior is hot and cold. I plan on moving in 3 days. Should I just tell him that I will not be contacting him because I need time for myself, or should I just "do" the no contact thing without saying so? I understand that this period is necessary for me, but I'm hoping no contact will give him the space he need to re-evaluate his decision.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 December 2010):
 Glad to help. Funny story. One time at work I made a customer upset. This customer has a history of flying off the handle, so it was only a matter of time. Anyway, she got mad at me one day and called me up to say, "I'm not talking to you anymore." I just laughed and thought to myself, "THANK GOD!!! Now she can be someone else's headache!" When I tell people that story they always ask me if she was in grade school, because they can't believe an adult would do something like that.
I'm happy you've decided to not act like that. It really doesn't make sense to tell someone you're not speaking with them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Thank you DB and Daniel. You're right, kinda silly saying "hey i'm not going to contact you" after he was the one who ended the relationship. It's an awkward situation still living there, maybe this has confused me sometimes with false hope. Ahhh, as hard as it is I will take your advice and go my own way. Thank you.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (8 December 2010):
If you don't want to look needy then just walk away. I know you want him to contact you and you're holding hope of reunion, but honestly it's best if once your ways have parted, they stay that way. This kind of thing is a cycle if you get back with him.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 The right and most difficult thing to do here is simply to leave without saying a word.
I believe that we should demand to be treated in a coherent way. If he dumped you, dumped you are, and off you go. It's not a matter of "I'll contact you again but you'll still be dumped".
However, it seems that you want him to contact you, instead of his wanting to. That is normal, and sad, and difficult to manage, but, you have to do what you have to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): Thank you for responding Cindy. We live with each other....I am moving out in a few days. I guess I was asking if I should say anything to him before I move? I've read that telling your ex that you will not contact them sometimes brings them back or wonder. I'm not so hopeful about this, but thought I'd give it a shot. I didn't know if it would be better to say "no contact", or just to implement it by not calling him. I don't want to look needy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 December 2010):
 No contact means no contact. If you contact him to tell him you are not gonna contact him... then you are still contacting him and it's not "no contact ".
LOL ! I swear I wasn't drunk when I wrote this !
Let's try again - DO "no contact ". He said he needs space. You say you need space. Let him be.
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