A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am a hindu girl.i am in love with a christian boy.my family is against this affair.they want me to marry a hindu .but i cant.we love each other so much.he is very sincere and loving.but then i dont want to hurt my parents.what will i do.i want my parents support.please give me an answer.thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): I know its easier said than done, all these people tell you to follow your heart and if your parents love you they'll love yo u no matter what. But even though it's easier said than done, it's the right advice. Trust me when I tell you that it's the transition period of merging the two together that's the hardest part, but after that's over and you have successfully done that, life will be easier. The best thing you can do is treat your parents with understanding but at the same time stand firm on what you believe in. Tell them you understand how they feel, but because they did such a good job raising you, you have an open mind, and you realize that love comes unexpectatly. Also ask them the question, "would you rather see me happy in this life with a Christian, than see me miserable with a Hindu." Maybe they'll see than that what there asking of you is selfish and benefits them more than it does yourself. Good luck,
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Ask your b/f to be a Hindu for your sake. If he loves you , he can become a Hindu and later on can switch back to be a Christian after he is married.
Would you want to be happy and others sad or would you want to be sad and others happy? That is your choice.
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A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 Hi
I am a tamil and i have a christian bf as well. At first i told my parents that i want to become a christian and my mum and i had a disagreement. She said that i cant just leave my religion.....After a couple of months i think she adapted to the idea. My bf and i go to church and they dont say anything. I read the bible etc.I still fast when i am meant (as i am still living in their house) but they have accepted the idea that when i get married (next year)i will convert to a christian.Tell your parents that atleast he believes in god and is religious.Speak to whichever parent you are more comfortable with and try to get them to understand your point.If you have no luck, you are big enough to do what you wana.
Regards,mail me if you wanna talk
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A
female
reader, Sams_WonderWoman  +, writes (31 January 2008):
 As long as you love each other and he treats you right, you should go with your heart. Maybe your parents will change their mind when they see how much you love him and how he treats you. Then you two should pray about your situation.
I hope and pray that your parents will support you in whatever you do. Just go with what your heart tells you to do.
Blessings to you and your boy friend!!
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A
female
reader, KT1  +, writes (30 January 2008):
Ultimately, it is your decision. If your parents are basing it solely on religion then, I agree with the others - ask them to show/give you reasons as to why shouldn't marry this man who treats you well, loves and respects you, because I'm sure they cannot guarentee that just because someone is Hindu means they will do the same. Realisticially, you should sit down and dicuss with your parents their objections (this is a reason why we have parents) - they may sense or even know something about this man that you don't and you may spend the rest of your life then regretting the marriage if you don't. Obviously if you have a discussion with them you need to then decide for yourself what's bias and what's real. Hopefully, if you discuss it with them, you may be able to point out your point of view and maybe able to resolve some of these issues.
I wish you the best, from my personal experience this isn't a pleasant thing to go though!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): It's your life, not your parents. You have to do what's best for you.
Could you show your parents how much he respects and cares for you and makes you happy? Maybe ask them to give him just one chance to prove himself. If they see this then maybe they will realise that that this is what is best for you, regardless of religion. It's worth a shot.
Your parents will probably feel hurt because you have rejected their advice, so talking it over with them, telling them how worried you are about hurting them, might help.
Good luck XxXxXxX
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A
female
reader, ralphy +, writes (30 January 2008):
This is a really big deal. I am super close to my family - a real daddy's girl of sorts - so I said I would never be with a guy my Dad didn't approve of.
If you aren't very close though then I encourage you to seek the guy out; however you may want to consider talking with your parents to see how they really feel - your perception may vary and what if this boy was okay with converting or you two lived seperate religous lives. I have friends who have done this.
Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): I believe that if you're in love with someone then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Your family should think of what you want not what they want. Point that out to them. Hopefully, if they see how happy he makes you feel then they'll give him a chance and be happy for you and give you support. I hope this has helped. x
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A
male
reader, leonard j. Douglas  +, writes (30 January 2008):
There come a time when you must put first things first in your life,and you will have to go with your heart,or with your parents. Me I would go with my heart and find happiness or you'll live to regret your parents plans for your life,plans that only you have the right to make,not them.
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A
male
reader, Arkiteck +, writes (30 January 2008):
There is a famous saying that says "religion is the opiate of the masses". I've come across this problem in the past too and i must say, I hate it when religion comes in the way. To me it's just ridiculous. Alot of people follow religions to a T and to me it seems that religion should be used as the COMPASS of your life, not the ROADMAP. Meaning it should tell you morally what direction you're heading in but not tell you how to get there.
I'm not Hindu, I'm not christian, i really don't subscribe to any religion even though i was born catholic. But i do realize that there is one fact about all religions in that there is a God of some sort and that god loves us and wants us to be happy. If you're happy with a guy that gives you everything you need (notice i said need, not want) and treats you right, then what is the problem?
Explain to your parents, if you haven't already how you feel. It sounds to me that your parents are extremely old fashioned and they may not agree with you. But it's your life not theirs. You'll always be their daughter regardless of who you marry or date. You'll still be Hindu and who knows, maybe this guy will convert for you. I'd ask your parents what advantage is there in dating a Hindu guy as opposed to someone of another religion, chances are they won't be able to give you a reasonable answer without quoting some religious scripture or tenant. Would they rather have you marry a Hindu cheats on you, beats you, and treats you like crap overall, or would they rather have you marry a christian who treats you like gold?
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A
female
reader, Lauraaa :)  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 You should make a decision that you will benefit from the most. If you truly love this boy then follow your heart and choose him. Your family cannot rule your life for you, and unless you go against them then you shan't ever be happy.Good luck :) I hope things work out well for you!
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