A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm really at a point where I don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for quite a while now and he was a virgin when we first had sex. (Yes, we really do love each other and have feelings for one another.)I on the other hand was not, but I still do not have all that much experience and am still really shy and kinda timed. He wants me to have my own "tricks" as he puts it. He's all into different things, but I don't know how to turn off the shyness and bring anything new to the table. I feel like I'm at the point of where if I can't please him at he should find someone that can't please him.Please help...what do I do?
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (6 February 2013):
My advice is simple; don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Let him tell you what he likes. If you don't want to do it then don't.
If he can't get over that then wave bye bye.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2013): If he wants you to have 'tricks' to please him he needs to tell you what he means. He can't expect you to just pluck some ideas out of thin air and spring them on him. The way it usually works is both of you think of things you yourself would like to try, share the info, then if you are both willing you give it a try. I think you are freaking out because you are out of your comfort zone - you are shy and he knows that, so he shouldn't be pressuring you to become some sort of sexual vixen. Tell him he needs to help you, it's not your responsibility alone to come up with new ideas and if he thinks it is then he is lazy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2013): I find it hard to believe you love him if you are considering breaking up instead of just talking to him. You should talk to him about it and how you feel. If you are up to it even talking to him about what turns him on and what his fantasies are. It wouldnt hurt to talk about it and then if you are uncomfortable with any of it tell him that. You dont have to do anything you dont want to but it may help figuring out what exactly you both want before already deciding no and to break up.
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