A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:If you tell a guy you love him amd he says back' I love you too' does he mean it? or do some guys just say it for the sake of it? I told my BF this, and he said he loves me to, but I;m not sure how to take it. Do I take it he means it? or else he could have just said ' thanks' or whatever?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx sammy. That,s exactly what i.m going to do. X
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female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (13 August 2011):
i would suggest you start doing the same.Make yourself unavaliable, because if you don't he will walk all over you cos he will just expect to see you when he feels like it if he calls or texts you to say he wants to see you that weekend tell him you are going out with your friends or something even if your not so he can see you have a life and your not just sat around waiting to see him good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat upsets me is this. He asks me what i.m doing at the weekends, then deliberatley makes himself unauailble or busy,or stages some sort of agument to get out of it,and me like an idiot,for the past 3 weeks went nuts,and texted upset texts. I haven.t done that this weekend. The guy is all over me during the week when i see him,but still moody.how do i deal with this? He,s not making the effort to see me more like he was at the start. It.s getting less. Is that because he feels trapped?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx. Well,it,s not like i.m contacting him everyday. He seems to want it all on his own terms? If we speak during the week,and i invite him,he comes.we used to see each other at the weekends all the time. So why the issue now? He did not even respond to my txt. I think that,s unreasonable.i don.t call him everyday,so why has he started behaving like this? He claims i.m his girlfreind,so surely he,d want to see me more than twice a week? He told me he loves me. So what,s going on?
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (13 August 2011):
 Yes, please do lay off a bit from continuously calling and texting!
He may well feel backed into a corner and is resisting getting together on the weekends.....the more you try to persuade him to see you and ask if he wants to "pop round" the more he will oppose your wishes.....take a lesson from cats: approach a cat pleading "here, kitty, kitty" unless it happens to be very laid back and friendly, the response can be to literally run in the opposite direction, and if one persists, said cat may well hiss and spit.......whereas if one acts nonchalant and relaxed, the cat will come to you.
Now, of course, your bf isn't a cat! My point is that people SOMETIMES do behave in much the same way......sit back, and be busy with your own life and activities, and let him come to you. Unless there are some serious problems in the relationship, or you have bugged him to the point he absolutely cannot stand it any longer, with any luck he will begin calling and inviting you out.
As for "most people" telling you he "should" call or text you every day, well, phooey! Men and women are individuals and don't behave according to what "most people" say they "should" do or not do! (In other words, beware of generalizations like that!!)
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male
reader, Ronnie70 +, writes (12 August 2011):
 In answer to your question, he could well be losing interest in you - but only because of the reasons I've already stated!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 August 2011):
 listen to his actions then.
my man cannot say I love you to me... when i tell him I love him he says "thank you"
RARELY he will say "I love you" and NEVER at a romantic time... so when he does say it I so appreciate it.
BUT I know more than any other man in my life (and I have had many) that he loves me... not by his words (words are cheap) but my his actions.. by the way he looks at me, by the things he does for me, by the way he cares for me when I'm at my worst... and by how he defends me to the death to my friends and more importantly to HIS friends that were friends BEFORE ME...
what is it that Percy Sledge said "when a man loves a woman...She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he put her down"
Actions speak louder than words
and I have to say that TRUST is critical
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionronnie! He,s done this every weekend 4 a month! Ok. I will give him some space. R u sure he,s not just losing interest? !
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male
reader, Ronnie70 +, writes (12 August 2011):
I get the feeling he's feeling smothered and backed into a corner. He wants some space and you're trying not to let him have any. He probably looks at his phone and thinks 'Jesus, not her again'.
Let him have his space and some time with his buddies without being pestered by phone calls and texts. I think if I were him I'd put my phone in a drawer at 5pm on Fridays and not take it out until Monday morning. Let him do the phoning for a change but don't sit there waiting for it to ring. Go to the party. Enjoy some time without him. There is life without him even if it's just for a couple of days a week.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, yes, he only calls me every other day, and most people say he should call or text every day. Also, it seems the closer we get, the more unavailable he becomes. EG: he has been ' unavailable' every fruday and sat nightfor the past month. it did not used to bel like that at all, then when we do see each other, we are very close, and the last time was when I told him I loved him, and he told me back, and it sounded genuine.I really felt it was the right time to open up, and I'm glad I did, but now he is blowing hot and cold. Like today is friday, and I called him and he asked me if I had any plans for the weekend? I was like, no plans as such, and then I sked hi what his plans are? and he said ' Not sure rea;lly, it;s all a bit up in the air at the moment, I am, supposed to be going to a party, but am not sure yet; so I said, ok, take care, and that was that that. So then I thouhght' ok, maybe he was waiting for me to ask him over? so I called him ( no answer) then I texted and said 'Do you want to pop over this evening? and he;s not even answering me. There has been some hicup every single weekend.It;s like he is testing me, and every weekend I have got upset and snet him loads of uspet textes whic do not help, but am not going to do that this weekend, as it will give him an excuse. I don;t understand how this man appers to be falling for me, then keeps backing off everytime we get close. So how can he love me?
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female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (12 August 2011):
Why don't you trust this man? Has he given you reason in the past not to?
He "only" calls you every other day. Yes, you are expecting too much.
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female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (12 August 2011):
i would look at how he said it back to you if he was smiling when he said it then he probably meant it some men do just say it back so they don,t hurt you
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female
reader, lerato29  +, writes (12 August 2011):
 some guys actually mean it,u must see his behiviour how he treats you,i am sure you can tell if his for real or not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would need to ask this question as I do not trust him 100%. I want to trust him, but his actions dont; quite match up. EG: he only calls me every other day. Am I expecting too much?
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male
reader, Ronnie70 +, writes (12 August 2011):
You can't possibly get a yes or no answer to this question that applies to everyone. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't, maybe he likes you a lot or a little, not a lot or not at all.
Speaking for myself, if you told me that you loved me but I didn't love you I would be non-committal in my reply which could be anything from 'you do?' to 'oh dear'. However, if I loved you too I would definitely say so!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): A genuine guy would not say "I love you" if he didn't mean it. That's the short and simple. If you trust him, then it sounds like he meant it. However, why would you need to ask this question if you did trust him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2011): Everyone`s different. Its true that some can say anything you want to hear. Look for behavior more than words. Its difficult to answer.
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