A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:To sexy girls: do your boyfriends still look at other women? I'm in a new relationship and afraid of ruining it with my jealousy. In the past I always had boyfriends who looked at other women a lot and they would also comment on my weight and clothes (not when we were out). I could lose about fifteen pounds right now and simply don't feel comfortable wearing anything sexy. I feel like I have to go on a crash diet so I won't have to feel bad when I'm out in public with my new boyfriend.Did my boyfriends look at other women because I wasn't sexy enough for them - and they were "missing" something in the relationship so they had to lust after other girls, or do all boyfriends, even the ones with the "hot" girlfriends still look or glance at other women when they're out with their girlfriends? Replies from the hot girlfriends are appreciated!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): Does he do it in rude way? Does his head follow her as she passes him while you're both sitting down at a restaurant? If so, this is cad behavior. Everyone looks let's face it. Even women. But it should be done subtly, not blatantly. If it's blatant ogling, it's rude, disrepectful, and tacky, tacky.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2007): YES all men do look even the ones with HOT girlfrineds and wives. BUT, It's not about the looking, it's about HOW they look. Just looking and appreciating, as we all do, is one thing. UNDRESSING on the other hand is downright disrespectful toward you and classless.
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A
male
reader, pantelis0383 +, writes (30 June 2007):
lol,The answer to your question is simple.YES!
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A
female
reader, i might be a girl but i can help  +, writes (29 June 2007):
 the think is yes they do but we can't tell them to stop it its natural i have always said to my boyfriends u can look but don't touch. and im so sorry about ur exs what pigs. if ur boyfriend isn't happy with what he has got than u should leave him.so stop going on diets men ook at other women its something everyone does it doesn't mean they don't think there girlfriend is sexy its just something they do. so please don't worry and talk to your boyfriend about it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007): Personally I think this is a guy thing. I have been with my girlfriend for over 4 years, and I admit, I still look at other women. There is no harm in window shopping so long as I don't touch! I don't believe that this is being unfaithful or cheating, it is natural!I bet women with good looking boyfriends even look at other guys in a similar way. Not trying to sound sexist here, but I think that women tend to get wound up a little more than guys do. I personally am not offended nor do I get paranoid thinking my girlfriend is checking other guys out because she's not getting something from me! BUT i know that if it was the other way around, i.e. my girlfriend noticed me looking at other girls, I'd have hell to pay...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): Hun, have you ever asked yourself why you chose such insensitive, boorish bf's? What a bunch of cads, you've dated, girl! . I agree, men do look at other women..that's a given. Men are wired to to be visually stimulated...more so than us gals. But most decent, respecting, loving guys do it it discreetly and do not draw attention to it. I think what concerns me, is how these prior bf's and their behaviors have affected you. It's made you insecure and weakened your self-worth. Don't allow that. If you see this new guy being rude, bold and blatant about looking at other females in your presence..bring him back down to earth. Set a boundary. You can say something like, "I know you like looking. Heck, I do too when I see a great looking man but I do it with class and discretion. So please try to do it, discreetly. I find that the way, you are doing this, is not only disrespectful to me but to the the woman you are gawking at. Women are to be respected , not treated like 'chunks of meat'. So I would like you to control your behaviors in my company". End of it. Wait for his to respond. And if he still can't control where his eyes go...don't get pissed off..just walk away, get up and leave...getaway from his gawking. Why waste your time on a date with a guy, who can't give you his attention. Remember, boundaries are there to let others know how you wish to be treated. Never, ever fear letting any guy what you will and will not tolerate. Be strong, dear and be honest to yourself. If you treat yourself with self-respect, you will get respect from others.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Hey babe,
I'm a sexy girlfriend (at least, I'd like to think so), and yeah... men will always check out chicks. Just the same way that I will casually check out that Johnny Depp lookalike strolling down the other side of the street.
I realize that my boyfriend is drawn to a hot woman like a moth to the flame. Poor guy, he can't help but look! I know that I'm number one to him, I know that he finds me beautiful not just in a superficial way (as he finds these other girls), but in a way that is exclusive only to us.
I know his taste, and even I'll point out a super hot chick to him from time to time. He'll look, he'll say "yeah, she's hot", and we'll move on.
It's all a matter of moderation as well. I'd be pretty pissed off if my boyfriend was OGLING other women. If he was drooling and making a big scene every time he spotted a hottie... well that's just disrespectful. But he can look, he can appreciate and that's okay.
HOWEVER, I don't like all this negativity coming from yourself!! And I don't like your boyfriends who are making comments about your clothes or weight. These guys are jerks who you shouldn't be with anyway.
You need to be happy with YOURSELF. A good looking woman is ALWAYS a confident woman. Sexiness isn't just god-given appearance, it's all in the attitude. I think you should go out and get yourself something really sexy to wear under your clothes - Victoria's Secret or something - and a brand new haircut. That's what makes me feel like a million bucks, at least.
Hope I helped a little bit, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (28 June 2007):
 What's the harm in your boyfriend looking at another girl? My guy has a thing for boobs so I regularly catch him looking especially if the lady is in a low cut top. Her fault for wearing the top. Shouldn't wear a low cut top if you don't want them looked at.
I know my guy is only looking and that he would never take it further than that. I also know he isn't thinking about having sex with the other lady, he's just having a look. I do the same with guys and girl (I'm bi). I'm not looking to compare them to my partner, just looking.
Does it matter if your ex boyfriends were looking at other women because you don't feel sexy enough? They are your exs. The only one that should matter is your current partner. Chat to him about it. Ask him to be really honest. But don't feel you HAVE to loose weight for him. Loose it for you, because you want to loose it.
xxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): Yes, all men check out all the women they see. Men are pretty hooked on visual stimuli. Sexy women remind us of sex, which we love.
I find that I always notice a beautiful girl when she walks into the room, though if I am with my girl I definitely try not to appear to notice. I don't want her to be offended.
But honestly nearly every good looking girl I see makes me thing of my own girl. If I see some girl with a real nice butt, it does make me horny, but I am not desiring that particular girl. It's just a visual-aid for the sexual part of my brain and a fact of life. I don't flirt with other girls and don't stare, cause that's sort of like flirting.
Being 15 pounds overweight hardly makes you undesirable and would not make your guy want to stray. You are being insecure. If you are right about that then you don't want to be with that kind of guy. But, stop kidding yourself, if you want to lose the weight stop talking about it and do it! It will help you be a better, more secure, and sexy person in this relationship or any another.
Honestly I wouldn't worry about your BF if this is your only issue with him. Enjoy life!
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A
male
reader, breezer +, writes (28 June 2007):
Unfortunately i must confess we do! Currently I am single but I have been with a few girls who have been real eyecatchers to other men and I must admit I have checked out other women, but at the end of the day it means nothing at all. I personally wouldnt stay with a woman I dont like so why would your new boyfriend be with you, at the end of the day he choose you as you are. I must also admit that looks where very important to me in my early twenties, but as you do grow older (I'm 33) looks are not that important, it is more about chemistry!
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A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r +, writes (28 June 2007):
i dont think you can say that anyone alive has eyes for only their partner. i mean most people window shop (true men do most likely look at women more than women at men) but we all do it.
the test of character isnt whether they look, or even if theyre obvious about it (it hurts partners but its no harm)its whether they look and then take steps further
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Hey i'm no model but at the same time i'm not the back end of a cow either.
Just wanted to say it's life we all look at other people and it 9 times out of ten means nothing at all, it does not mean they do not find you sexy because if they did not they would not be with you in the first place.
Me and my husband actually joke about it now we have a fantastic sex life and find each other extremely sexy and let each other know that all the time, but we look and thats all it is, neither of us get insecure about it.
Take care.xx.
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